Cheating isn’t fun. While it might be a thrill for the ones running around in secret, this is usually pretty short-lived and ends in a nasty situation for all involved. But, why does it happen in the first place? Why do people cheat in relationships? It’s easy to blame yourself or even the other woman or man, but the truth is that infidelity usually happens because of one of the following 8 reasons.
1. The situation fits.
Cheating is never justified, but there are situations where the circumstances align. Let’s look at a fake example of someone’s partner named Casey. Casey is usually pretty responsible and seems dedicated to their relationship. Suddenly things start to shift. Their partner has to work abroad for six months, meanwhile, Casey is let go from work, then they’re out with friends and drink too much. One coworker offers Casey the support and shoulder to cry on that they wanted and – boom – Casey makes the mistake of cheating.
Check out: 10 Signs your partner is cheating on you
2. It boosts their self-esteem.
While some cheaters have low self-esteem, others may have pretty high ones. What can hold true for any of them is that cheating boosts their self-esteem, no matter how high or low it originally is. Having someone other than your partner chasing after you or giving you attention may be the convincing factor to make someone choose to cheat – this is especially true if the person doesn’t feel sexy or valued in their own relationship. Remember, though – even if they felt ignored by you physically, it doesn’t give them a right to get physical with someone else.
3. The cheating partner feels unfulfilled.
Many cheating partners – especially those who go out with cheating already in mind – do so because they feel unfulfilled in their life. This could be in their relationship, but it could also be in general. If their work and home life are disappointing, they may see cheating as an escape. Sadly enough, this escape is usually very short-lived, which makes them go right back to their regular life which they eventually destroy.
4. Lust. Cheating never happens without this factor.
Lust is defined as very strong sexual desire, and that’s about as far as it goes. You know when you see some hottie on the beach or wherever and can’t get over how fine they are? Yeah, that’s the lust we’re talking about. Everyone feels lust at one point or another, but cheaters go too far, entertaining the thoughts in their minds until they become a reality. Have you ever heard the phrase, marry for personality not for looks, because looks fade but personality lasts a lifetime? Yeah, cheaters forget about that one.
Check out: What does cheating say about a person?
5. They’re bored.
Here’s a little bit of a spoiler for you – every single long-term relationship on planet earth is going to go through at least one moment (but probably way more) of boredom. We get used to each other. This is what makes us feel connected, but at the same time, it’s also what sometimes gets old. There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way because the important thing is how you respond. A healthy relationship will try to find ways to spice things up or go on an adventure. An unhealthy one will have a cheater who looks for fun with someone else.
6. They want to be single.
This reason goes for the serial cheaters. The ones who do it once and don’t stop, but continue on or even amp up their cheating rampage. If they’ve cheated with multiple people or ON multiple partners, they want to be single. Or, maybe an even better description is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They like the security of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but the thrill of going out and acting single – and acting a fool – whenever they want. The only solution for this kind of cheater is to finally be single for as long as they need and get this craziness out of their system… if that’s even possible.
7. To seek revenge.
Ah, the good ol’ grudge. No, I’m not talking about that creepy movie, but about the grudges, we’ve all felt at one time or another for someone else who wrongs us. It’s not always easy being the bigger person, I’ll give you that. But cheaters take revenge too far and use their anger or sadness as an excuse to make a very big boo-boo. They might fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then, instead of talking things through or cooling off at home, go out on a partying vengeance streak and hook up with whoever shows up. Not cool, bro or sis, not cool.
8. They’re not committed.
Relationships are about commitment. I mean, the whole point of a relationship is to have someone – just ONE person – who you can share your life with and trust. If you can’t even do that, then they’re basically just your friends with benefits, aren’t they? Cheaters cheat because they are not in it to win it. They aren’t committed to you. No matter what they say or how sorry they seem, they choose themselves over you, and that’s a single-person move.
Check out: 15 Things cheaters say when confronted
Conclusion:
Cheaters may use one or even all 8 of these reasons to justify their behavior, but at the end of the day, these are reasons, not excuses. Cheating isn’t excusable and whether or not it’s forgiven is the decision of the person who’s been hurt by it. Can you think of any other reasons someone might cheat? Do you think any are justified? Let us know in the comments! So there you have it, 8 reasons why do people cheat in relationships.