You might think that Sam is cute, but your friend might think Sam’s as lame as a piece of boloney. So, is Sam attractive or not? The thing is that attraction is subjective. Even so, it’s actually measured in objective terms. What I mean by that is when you ask yourself, “Why are we attracted to certain people?” there are 8 key factors that play a part, no matter who you are or who you’re looking at. Let’s check them out.

1. Looks.

This is the obvious factor that we have to include from the get-go. We’re attracted to people who we find hot. Globally, most people find those with the highest levels of facial symmetry to be the most attractive. Everyone’s got their preference, but a few things are attractive across the board. Clear skin, whiter teeth, and brighter eyes are also generally more attractive because they signal a healthy potential partner.

Check out: 10 Signs someone secretly likes you

2. Proximity.

You’re going to be attracted to someone you see fairly often. This doesn’t mean you won’t think a famous celebrity is attractive, but that will likely only be based on their devious good looks and not much else. Proximity refers to people you have in your social circle. These could be friends, coworkers, or even that one guy or girl you see every morning at the coffee shop. The more often you see them, the more likely you are to look into the next six factors with this person.

3. Familiarity.

As creepy as it sounds, we are usually attracted to people that look familiar to us. This doesn’t necessarily have to be family, but I would be lying if I said some of you didn’t date copies of your mom or dad. Without getting into Freudian thinking, familiarity is basically the fact that we’re more comfortable and more attracted to people who make us feel at home. If a guy or girl reminds you of an ex you always loved, you’ll probably be more attracted to them whether they act like that ex or not.

4. Reciprocity.

Another factor of attractiveness is reciprocity. This is when you and the other person give and take in a back-and-forth with mutual benefits. These benefits might be that you guys make each other laugh or maybe you enjoy making out with each other. The effort and time you both give are met with benefits, so the reciprocity keeps you two hanging out. If one person seems like they don’t care, they might quickly seem way less attractive.

Check out: 10 Signs someone is emotionally attracted to you

5. The challenge.

Every accomplishment feels better if you had to work for it. Participation trophies might suffice for 5-year-olds, but they don’t do much for full-grown adults. Challenges also come into play with relationships. If someone seems harder to go out with, it makes them that much more attractive. They don’t call it playing hard-to-get for nothing. The thing is, this person might not even be all that, but because you won’t know until you go out with them, it gives you even more motivation to make it happen. Think of them like rare diamonds. Few people find them and even fewer get to keep them. I bet you want one now, don’t you?

6. Intimacy.

If you feel like you can trust a friend or new acquaintance, they instantly become more attractive. This sense of privacy makes us feel safe with them because we can share our true selves and trust them with our secrets. Most of the time, the other person will feel the same so the mutual sharing of private information creates an even stronger bond. Be careful, though, as oversharing has also been shown to decrease attraction. You don’t want to put all your past trauma cards on the table on the first date.

7. Scent.

Two scents play a part in attraction. One is biological and can’t really be changed and the other is self-selected. The biological one comes in the form of pheromones. Pheromones are natural chemical substances that our bodies produce. They can change when we’re aroused or depending on our hormonal time of the month – and yes, monthly hormones are just as true for men as they are for women. While we do smell pheromones, you probably can’t identify them, but this is why some people will naturally smell better to you than others. The second scent is the one you pick out in the form of cologne or perfume. One may smell better on you than on another, so this is a personal choice that will also affect your attractiveness. Oh, and deodorant counts too so don’t forget to put that on.

8. Shared interests.

Last but not least, attractiveness also factors in similarities. While the saying says opposites attract, this is only right at the beginning. For those looking to form a real relationship, similarities are actually the glue that keeps couples together. This is why someone who shares your interests will spark more attraction. This could include hobbies, beliefs, political views, or any other interest you have.

Check out: 10 Signs you are emotionally connected to someone

Conclusion:

Now that you know why we are attracted to certain people, it’s time to analyze the special peeps in your own life. Do any come to mind? Which factors seem to resonate with why you find them so attractive? We’d love to hear about it in the comments!