What to Say to a Girl You Just Met
Did you know that we could judge people in a matter of a few seconds? There’re studies to even show that within the first ten seconds we already decide if another person is trustworthy or not. These subconscious decisions and judgments are a part of our way of thinking, and most of them happen without us even thinking twice about it. They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but we definitely do judge it by the cover and the summary on the back. If people didn’t know anything about the book, most people wouldn’t buy it if the front and back didn’t catch their attention. Think of the book cover as your first impression when meeting someone new. You may have met a girl who seems to be the coolest chick out there, but how can you be sure that she thinks the same of you? While looks are important, we’ve got to focus on what to say to a girl you just met. So here are 15 tips to help you out.
1. Introduce yourself… but don’t interrupt.
Ok, first thing’s first. When you meet this new girl, you’ll have to introduce yourself. Peep the situation and see if she’s available to talk or not. If she’s already in a conversation that doesn’t seem too intimate, slowly make your way over and smile. When there’s a pause in the conversation, excuse yourself for joining in, and introduce yourself. Keep it classic. There’s no need to barge in and start talking up a storm or making jokes. A simple and clear introduction goes a long way, and make sure to ask for her name too! You need to do this with a girl you just met.
2. Ask her where she’s from.
This is a nice introductory question because it’s really 2 or 3 questions disguised as one. First, she’ll tell you where she’s from. If she’s not from here, she will probably mention where she moved from or where she grew up next. Finally, if something about her language or culture doesn’t seem to match the first two answers, she may share her ethnic background with you. All of these responses provide pathways to different conversations, and they’re a great way to learn a lot about someone new right from the get-go.
3. Talk about her hobbies. Everyone likes to do something.
And if we like something, it typically makes us happy. Isn’t it easier to talk about something you like as opposed to talking about a lame subject chosen by a teacher? The same goes for normal conversations. If you ask this girl about what she likes to do on her free time, you have a good chance at seeing her face lit up as she shares what brings her joy. Hobbies say a lot about a person, and it also takes the pressure off of you, and hopefully, you’ll become an attentive listener.
Check out: How to keep a conversation going with a girl
4. Try to find out what she’s passionate about.
Lots of time, one or more of our hobbies might be our passion. This is especially true if we dedicate our free time towards a special cause or activity that isn’t quote-on-quote “necessary”. Other times, people are lucky enough to be passionate about their job. No matter where her passion lies, try to find it by asking questions about what makes her feel the most fulfilled. This is the purpose that keeps them going through the other, boring stuff. It’s also going to show a little bit about how they think. Someone is truly at their best when they are talking about what fuels their day-to-day life, and it’s a great way to learn about and connect with someone new.
5. Mention your hobbies, especially if they connect with hers!
As you’re being a great listener and learning about her, there’s no reason why she can’t do the same with you when you just met each other. This is especially true if you hear something that resonates with you, like a similar interest. This is an appropriate time to, politely, interrupt and tell her that you both have overlapping similarities. You can even use this opportunity if you have different outlooks on a similar interest. For example, maybe you both love to go to the movies, but she likes comedies and you prefer horror movies. A little light debate about which is better can be a friendly way to connect as well.
6. Ask for recommendations.
Such as fun things to do, places to go, or restaurants. If this girl has been living in the area for a while, a great conversation starter is to ask her for advice on something local. Let her share her advice on some fun things to do, places to see, or restaurants to try out. This allows her to take on the role of showing off what she knows, and it also shows you the types of places she is usually into. You’ll then be able to see if you both click in certain areas or not.
7. Tease her a little bit.
As your confidence and courage picks up, feel free to throw in a little bit of teasing here or there. This is something you would do only after a few minutes of solid communication, never do it right at the beginning, because you want to ensure that she understands your personality enough to know that you aren’t actually making fun of her or being a bully. Again, you don’t want to have a bad first impression.
Check out: How to flirt with a girl and get the date
8. Ask about the basic info: age, family, and work.
Trust doesn’t come easy in every conversation, so if you’re feeling that things are still cold between you two, revert back to the basics. Questions about our age, families, and jobs are typically well-accepted topics of conversation. Of course, there will be people disagreeing that you should not ask a girl about her age, but if you want to be sneaky you could always bring up when they are graduating or what year they graduated. This will at least give you a ballpark number of their age and have something more to talk about.
9. Compliment her discreetly.
A compliment is always good to give when you meet a girl. But don’t go drooling over her or telling her she is the queen all of a sudden unless she has that sassy personality. Choose something about her that you truly like. It could be the bracelet that she has on. Don’t just tell her she’s pretty or fun; Tell her about one particular thing that makes her the way she is. A small compliment goes a long way, especially if it’s genuine and about something specific.
10. Offer her something.
Even good conversations might have pauses. It doesn’t mean that the chit-chat is over, it’s just a break to change the topic or a break to think. If you find yourself in a mid-conversation break and don’t know what to talk about next, you can always offer her something. It can be anything from a drink, to food, to changing the scenery a little by walking out together. Use the gap to ask her if she needs anything. Even if she doesn’t, she will appreciate the effort.
11. Throw in some jokes.
You don’t have to be a comedian to tell jokes. It could be a bad joke and acknowledge that it’s a bad joke. Then you’ll have something to laugh about it. If the joke is related to the prior conversation even better. And, remember, in bold letters, AVOID politics, race, or sexist jokes. Dad jokes and basic laughs are what you’re going for. You just met this girl and you have no idea what her sense of humor is like, so air on the side of caution. If done correctly, you’ll increase your likability with the girl you just met.
12. Mention a goal you have.
At this point, you should know a thing or two about this girl, and hopefully, she will reciprocate by asking you a few things too. Take the chance to mention a goal you are working towards. This can be small, like something you want to complete this week, or a long-term goal in the next few years. Whatever it is, make sure you’re actively taking steps towards completing it now, in case she asks you more about it in the conversation. This lets you share an important detail about yourself, and it also invites her comments and ideas about other goals she may have.
13. Keep smiling!
It invites conversation on her part. From the moment you say hello to the moment you say goodbye; a smile should be on your face. A smile signals that you are inviting and trustworthy. It shows friendliness and openness. Keep it genuine, of course, and make sure you aren’t smiling when she’s talking about her pet dog who died last week. The key is for it to be natural.
14. Invite other people into the conversation.
Meeting a new girl is great, but it doesn’t mean that the rest of the room disappears. If you see someone else nearby who isn’t speaking to anyone, have them join the conversation. Of course, this is like for a group gathering. But use this as your last resort if you truly can’t find anything else to talk about. This way another person can help change up the topics a bit. It’s a plus if you can introduce other people because you can repeat each other’s names, if you forgot her name or that she forgot your name. This might be a really weak play, but it’s also like a lifeline for you to get help if you don’t know what to say to a girl you just met.
Check out: 10 Easy conversation starters that always work
15. If you hit it off, invite her to something in the future.
Hopefully, by now, you’ve talked about a few overlapping hobbies, the conversation has flowed between you two, and she even laughed at one of your corny jokes! Now what? Well, make sure that she doesn’t disappear into the wind. Mention a cool idea or plan that you have for next week, and ask her if she’d be interested in joining. A safer bet is if it’s something in a group setting since you two have only spoken on this one occasion. DON’T say that you two should hang out sometime, and then never make plans. No one likes those people. Make sure to have a general date in mind in the near future. But don’t have things planned out like months from now because it’ll just be forgotten. If she seems interested, take down her contact info to solidify your plans.
Conclusion:
Ok, you future social butterflies. You now have 15 tips up your sleeve to use when you meet a new girl. You don’t need to do all 15 of these at once. Just try out the ones that seem the most natural to you and use them depending on the tone and direction of the girl’s conversation. While verbal skills are helpful, we all have an innate little radar in our heads that tells us when things are appropriate and when things are awkward. Listen to the radar. Improving your first impression skills is helpful in anything from casual introductions to professional meetings and, just like any other skills, practice makes perfect. If you’re practicing this to actually get in touch with a girl, later on, feel free to check out my previous article on how to ask a girl for her number or social media. So, there you have it 15 tips on what to say to a girl you just met.