Obsession is a strong word, but sometimes we use it in a complimentary way. For example; This channel’s subscribers are the absolute best – I’m obsessed!
If you have someone who is obsessed with you in a probably-positive-but-let’s-see kind of way, you may not know what to do with that information. This post will guide you on what to do when someone is obsessed with you.
1. Decide whether it’s cute or crazy.
First things first, you need to figure out if this obsession is harmless and endearing or heading into “call the cops” territory. Sometimes, a little admiration can be flattering. Maybe they’re just a shy admirer who’s finally mustered the courage to show interest. Kind of like those movies where the shy guy or girl is head over heels for the popular kid – kind of cute, right?
But let’s remember… there’s a fine line between cute and creepy. A little love note or creative gift is cute. A shrine made of the hair from your hairbrush is creepy.
Are they showing up everywhere you go, or do they know things about you that they shouldn’t? If their behavior is making you uncomfortable or it feels invasive, it’s leaning towards the crazy side. Trust your gut on this one. If you’re getting bad vibes, don’t brush it off.
By the way, if you think this person is giving off dangerous vibes, double-check with our other post called “7 Criminal Traits.” Stay safe out there.
2. Learn more about them.
Whether they’re endearing or giving you goosebumps, it’s probably worth it to learn a little more about this person. After all, we should take a moment to analyze before jumping to conclusions.
So, who are they? What’s their deal? Maybe they’re just socially awkward and don’t realize they’re coming on too strong. Or maybe they’re genuinely nice but have a hard time expressing their feelings.
You can casually ask mutual friends about them or observe their interactions with others. If they’re a generally decent person who’s just a bit overenthusiastic, you might be able to handle the situation with a gentle conversation. But, if they have a history of similar behavior with others, it’s a red flag.
If you know someone in common who you can trust, ask them about them. You’d be surprised what you can learn through the grapevine. Just be sure you can trust whoever you speak with, because if it gets back to this person that you’re asking about them, you may be digging yourself into a hole.
Another way to silently creep back on them is online. Do a little research to know where they come from and whether or not their online presence is normal. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised and notice that you guys actually have some things in common and they seem cool. Or, maybe they are not on social media at all, which could be either cool or weird. Or maybe they post really outlandish things and photos that give you the creeps. Either way, you’ll learn something.
3. Imagine what it would be like to hang out with them.
You’re going to be in one of two places here. Either that very sentence made you gag and feel icky or you felt unsure. If you feel icky, this obsession is creeping you out. You don’t see any overlap with this person that makes you curious enough to be their friend. In fact, it makes you uncomfortable just to think about getting close to them in any way.
If, on the other hand, they seem OK and you’re curious enough, this person might actually be a good friend to have – or more. Maybe their obsession stems from a deep admiration and not from a place of control or possessiveness. They’re obviously into you and endearing enough that you don’t want to run for the hills or get a restraining order, so there’s a little bit of normal schoolboy or girl crush going on.
Check out: 10 Questions to get to know someone deep
4. Cut it off or get to know them.
Here’s where you decide. If you were getting the creepy heebie-jeebies thinking of this person during the post, it’s time to cut it off. It’s time to set some boundaries. Be clear and firm; you don’t have to be mean, but you do need to be direct. Let them know their behavior is making you uncomfortable and that you need some space. If they still don’t get the hint after a direct confrontation, you may want to get friends, family, or even authorities involved.
If you instead think this person is cool enough to potentially be friends with, get to know them a little bit. And if their admiration seems genuine and you’re open to exploring it, why not lean into it? Maybe this person is just what you need, and their intensity could translate into passion and devotion in a relationship.
You can test this out by spending more time with them in a controlled environment, like grabbing a coffee together. See if your initial interest grows or fades. If you start to like them back, great! You might just have found someone who’s incredibly into you, and that’s a win-win. Just make sure it’s balanced and doesn’t become a mutual obsession that isolates you from your other friends and interests.
So, what are you going to do about this obsession? Let me know in the comments!