You can’t get this person out of your head. You’ve tried distracting yourself, you’ve tried talking about it, you’ve even shaken your fists up into the sky and yelled, “Whyyyy!?”. Woah, woah, woah. Let’s take it back a notch, shall we? There are plenty of obvious reasons why you might not be able to stop thinking about someone. Maybe you love them, maybe you hate them, maybe they’re just memorable people. These are easy guesses. What you probably don’t know, is what is actually happening inside of your brain that made this person camp out in your thoughts to begin with. So, what does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone, exactly? Let’s take a look at these 6 options.
1. Your brain has an overload of dopamine.
It’s the chocolate to milk, the sunshine to the beach, the smile to your face. Simply put, it’s the sugar of life… but, in your brain. Dopamine is made by your body and released in your brain as a response to things that make us feel good. When you experience something that releases dopamine, like eating your favorite sweet, for instance, this makes your brain relate that sweet to good feelings. And that explains why I can’t stay away from chocolate. Anyway, people can correlate with dopamine too. If you’ve had good experiences with this person or generally enjoy their company more than others’, your brain may want to keep feeling “good”. Basically, your brain is yelling at you saying, “give me some more of this person! I need more of them!”.
Check out: Psychological facts about crushes
2. You could have an insecure attachment style.
Attachment styles are psychological explanations for why people act the way they do in relationships. It basically says that your style is determined from infancy, with a bunch of other biological traits factored in. If you have an insecure attachment style, this translates to you being a little needier than is helpful. You find yourself attaching to people rather quickly, and then you get a whole load of negative feelings when you have to be away from those people. If you could see this being a pattern in your own life, you may have developed this attachment style with that certain someone who is stuck on your mind. This is worth exploring more by thinking about your childhood or even talking to a professional about it. You’ll learn a lot about yourself doing so!
3. You don’t know what “could be” – or what “could’ve been”.
Ah, the never-ending “what-ifs”. I can’t remember what I ate for dinner yesterday, but I can definitely think of 100 different what-if scenarios in the time it takes me to shower. Go figure. Your creative brain might be doing the same thing with this individual. Maybe you’re going over a situation with them that didn’t go so well and you’re thinking of what you could have done differently. Or, maybe you’re inventing a possible future scenario with them and playing it through in your head. No matter which one you’re doing, you can always try to reign in your thoughts and focus on the here and now. Today is today, only today, after all.
4. You’re avoiding other things.
Responsibilities, personal issues, and insecurities can always be found lurking beneath the surface of our everyday lives. If you have a to-do list that’s piled higher than Mount Everest, you might be occupying all of your thoughts with this person as an easy-out to avoid thinking about things that put on more pressure. Doing this is only a temporary band-aid, though, and is avoiding the inevitable.
Check out: Why are people afraid to be in a relationship
5. You might be a bit compulsive.
While we all would like to think that we are the kindest, humblest humans around, sometimes we aren’t. If you have a compulsive personality, this might come with the actions of being a bit more… territorial. If this person is special to you in some way, or related to something important in your life, you might be thinking about them non-stop in an unhealthy, obsessive way. If your thoughts about them are totally dominating your mind without stopping, this is worth talking to someone over… before you become the next Netflix documentary topic.
6. Maybe they’re also thinking about you…
This is more of an old wives’ tale than science, but sometimes when we think about someone, they just might be doing the same. Have you ever thought about someone, then they suddenly messaged you? Or spoke about something, then it suddenly happened? In the same way that some believe in karma, the “what goes around comes around” concept might hold a grain of truth. You never know…
Check out: 10 Reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him
Conclusion:
While you might be feeling the lovey-feels, angry-feels, or crazy-feels about this person, there’s always a rhyme and reason as to why they got stuck in your head in the first place. Most of these reasons can be found within the basis of science, even the ones we think are just emotional. While we believe that we have to choose between them, our head and our heart are actually more connected than they are separate. Now that you better understand what’s going on in your head, it’s time to explore what you’re feeling in your heart. With both of these options dissected, you’ll be sure to know why you can’t stop thinking about them!