We hear the term “social skills” thrown around, but no one ever talks about what those skills include. What are social skills and how do we develop social skills? Is it by public speaking? Making a lot of friends? Smiling at someone when you enter a room? Well, it’s really a bit of all of those things. Social skills are the ways we communicate with one another, both verbal and nonverbal. They include speaking, listening, collaborating, and other communicative aspects. It may sound like a lot, but I’m breaking it down for you in simple terms today with this video. Let’s get started!
1. Social skills are used for gathering information.
One part of social skills is used for collecting information. Having these skills means you can more or less tell how someone feels while they’re speaking to you and react accordingly. Some people react differently than others, but there’s a general gist you can get with the right amount of experience. Unfortunately, there’s a person in my spin class that doesn’t have this skill. I could be rushed, pressed for time, with my foot halfway out the door, but they’ll still talk my ear off about something truly unimportant. This is an example of not having the right social skills. Learn to tune in to what the other person is saying through their gestures, facial expressions, tone, and body movements.
Check out: How to quickly develop social skills as an introvert
2. Social skills are used for giving information.
While learning about others is a key part of socialization, social skills are also important to give information about yourself to those around you. My ex used to give the silent treatment when something bothered him and would later explode or yell. Doesn’t sound very productive when it comes to solving a problem, now does it? My new boyfriend, on the other hand, calmly tells me when something bothers him and we work together to find a solution. The difference is one facet of social skills that helps you set boundaries, find solutions to social problems, and gain confidence when speaking to others about sensitive subjects.
3. Social skills are necessary for personal relationships and professional advancement.
It might seem obvious that social skills are key to having healthy and happy relationships, but did you know your level of social skill could be directly connected to how you advance in your career? Social skills advance your professional networking capabilities and the old adage rings true – it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Of course, knowing something is still necessary, but those connections, favors, and contacts will move way more mountains than your IQ alone. Without them, you’re just another smart employee limited to an office and not living to their full professional potential.
4. Develop social skills by putting yourself out there.
Now that we’ve dived into what social skills are, it’s time to build them up. The only way to do so, unfortunately for the shy guys, is to put yourself out there. This means going to new places, joining new clubs, trying out new activities, and basically initiating conversation with anyone new, anywhere. You can start with regular chit-chat about boring topics like the weather, TV, or your surroundings, and slowly make your way into speaking about personal topics or even controversial ones. While you might be worried about what you’ll say, the truth is that you should instead focus on what you’ll hear. Good social skills are about responding to people in the right way, not so much always saying the right thing first. Listen to others and truly understand the conversation before inserting your opinion into it.
Check out: Social skills training for adults
5. Develop social skills by trying out a public speaking course.
This might sound extremely intimidating to some of you, and it used to sound the same to me, but hear me out. A public speaking course is literally built to help improve your social skills. It will not build your social skills alone – public speaking is actually speaking in front of a crowd, not exactly to the crowd – but it will help you gain confidence in making your point in front of other people. Not only that, but public speaking could always be used in small or large group settings to share good ideas, go against bad ones, or defend yourself respectfully in sensitive situations.
I took a public speaking course a few years back and I would be lying if I said I spoke in front of everyone the first day – or even the first month – but I eventually got the guts to make a small speech and my public speaking confidence since then has only been on the rise!
6. Develop social skills through practice.
You don’t learn how to ride a bicycle by staring at it or sitting on it without moving. Practice doesn’t just make perfect; it makes everything in between. You build up skiing skills by skiing, singing skills by singing, and social skills by socializing. Make it a point to go out at least twice a week somewhere where you could meet new people, like a conference, festival, fair, market, or even events at your local library or organized by your town hall. I once chatted with another woman at an airport bar simply because we were the only two people there and she ended up offering me a job by the end of the conversation. How’s that for beneficial social skill practice? The more people you meet, the more confident you’ll get with others, and the more skilled you will become.
Check out: 10 Things young people need to learn before it’s too late
Conclusion:
Social skills aren’t just cool to have, they’re a necessity if you want to advance in life and reach your full potential. The best part is that anyone can do it so long as you follow these tips and put the time and effort into it.