10 Warning Signs Of A Player
When you’re looking for love, the last thing you want is someone who wastes your time. Unfortunately, just like in the world of online dating, you’re going to have to swipe right on dozens of people juuuuust to get a match… if you’re average and if you’re lucky. The person you definitely want to avoid is “the player”. They’re bound to catch your attention at the start. Players are charming, good-looking, and can usually make you laugh. What’s not to love? That is, until you realize that there is absolutely NO love in this case. A player will play with your heart more than the average guy plays video games. Too many of us have felt a player’s wrath and comes out damaged. It’s something you want to avoid at all costs. If you aren’t sure about this new person, here are 10 warning signs of a player.
1. They are over-confident.
There’s a fine line between cocky and confident. A player will play jump-rope on this line. A confident person knows their worth and feels positively about their abilities. Confidence is attractive. The problem is that sometimes we initially think someone is confident when they are, in fact, cocky. Cockiness brings about an air of arrogance. This person thinks they’re the best and they have no problem saying so. A player knows that they have the ability to win over – or should I say, con over – others, so this gives them an air of superiority. They see you as prey that is beneath them on the food chain. If this person doesn’t know the definition of humble, we have a problem. This over-confidence is going to make them think that they are worth more than everything and anyone else… including you. So be careful.
2. It’s all about the physical stuff.
Remember how I mentioned that a player is probably good-looking? This charming, hot, sexy son-of-a-gun wasn’t just born that way or maybe they are. They definitely work on their looks as much in the bathroom as they do at the gym, and their vision is very In this case, looks are everything. In addition, most of the time when you both hang out, they’ll start being touchy with you. If you’re just having a normal conversation you notice them getting very close to you. Basically, invading your private space. And guess what? They might not even care about what you’re talking about. Oh yeah, especially when you don’t know this person too well, and they start giving you a massage. Like wow, that’s a huge sign of a player. You don’t just randomly give another person a massage. What are they trying to do? Seduce you? You know the saying goes, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” This is one of the huge warning signs of a player.
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3. They are too private.
When getting to know someone, a little mystery is intriguing. We don’t need to know about your weird habits right off the bat, but there are certain things that should come up naturally when getting to know someone. You slowly learn about their interests and what they spend their days doing. A player will avoid giving you personal information at all times, because this information isn’t something you want to hear. It would also hurt their game with you. In addition, their free time is probably filled with activities involving other people, or outings with friends that they don’t want you to attend. They much prefer to shoot you vague responses that are enough to terminate conversations or to move on to safer topics. A player knows that disclosing personal information also means you are connecting with someone, and they aren’t about to do that with just any one that they have in their dating-rotation. Players are able to go through people like napkins because they don’t allow themselves to invest emotionally. They’re going to ensure that there is enough distance in each conversation to keep everyone vulnerable except themselves. A player always has the exit door in clear view.
4. When you’re with them you just feel… confused.
Love and dating bring up a lot of emotions. The beginning of a relationship tends to be the part filled with the most fun and engaging activities. This honeymoon phase includes the butterflies, sweet messages, and over-consuming thoughts about your new potential love. A person with clear intentions won’t make you question how they feel about you or where the relationship is headed. But if this new person is making you feel more confused than chapter 7 of your physics book, something is off. Your intuition communicates with you through gut feelings. Too often we push these gut feelings to the side because we WANT things to work out. We humans have a phenomenal vision for seeing potential. Here’s the thing; You can’t fall in love with potential. Many people never live up to their potential, and you will be stuck with their original, unedited, stagnant player self. If this person is giving you a feeling that something is off, consider that feeling for a moment. If their words and actions don’t clarify otherwise, it’s time to start listening less of them and more to yourself.
Are you confused? If so, check out: How to tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you
5. They prefer freedom over-commitment.
A player is only a player if they have options. A boyfriend or girlfriend is the definition of not looking for other options… at least, we would hope so. In this way, a player is trapped, if they commit. They then become a committed person and all of their old habits must go out the window. If bringing up dating seriously or exclusively makes this person runs for the door, pay close attention. They aren’t just avoiding a relationship because they’re busy. A person will overcome any obstacles if they truly want to be with you and they’ll find a way to make it work. Having the label as a girlfriend or boyfriend should be important to you if you are looking for it. Because a label shows commitment, and if this person would rather be free as a bird than to be tied down, they are definitely not the one you should be settling for, as of now. But they could change in the future. Who knows. If not, this is one of the warning signs of a player.
6. Their dating history is a mystery.
In the mixed dating pool of the 21st century, it’s normal to have a few stories about past relationships. Experiences in your life commonly involve other people and we shouldn’t shy away from sharing parts of our past that made us who we are today. If your new date seems to have more mystery than a magician, they might be hiding more than a few tricks up their sleeves. A player’s past is a concrete track record of their bad behavior. They probably can’t even list all of the people that they’ve been with if they tried. Maybe this person shrugs off your questions about the past, they might say that there is no one, or that they had that one ex oh-so-long ago and hasn’t found anyone since. The truth is they had found more than one person, they just didn’t want to settle on only one. A player will find a way out talk themselves out of it. And if necessary, they might even say some white lies.
7. They’re completely unreliable.
In the same way that a player thinks that they are everything, they also think that their time and energy are worth way more than yours. This person is only going to communicate well with you when it’s in their best interest. If not, they will fall off the Earth as they please and blatantly ignore you. On a rare occasion, you might get a lame excuse. Your phone calls and messages will only be validated if it’s convenient for them. Good luck trying to plan things with them in advance. If you both agree to do something in the future, make sure to have a backup plan, because there’s at least a 50% chance, they’ll bail last minute. This goes back to the players having options. Players are egoistic creatures and sometimes don’t care about your feelings.
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8. Their words are worthless.
When you first meet a player, they seem to know exactly what to say. They are the ones who hypes you up, a Compliment King, a Leader of Love. This is the initial bait that hooks you. When they start to reel you in, though, you realize this isn’t exactly what it seems. Your new Casanova talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk. If you’re so amazing, why is it so difficult for them to take you on a date that doesn’t involve Netflix? If you’re such a catch, why do they have a hundred things to do before making time for you? Soon enough you begin to see a huge disconnect between their words and actions. A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is an action. Don’t let them only tell you how much they like you; They should prove it! Huge warning signs of a player tho.
9. They hide their phone from you.
This small act could be very well one of the biggest signs of all. When you both hang out, is the phone screen facing down? You might say that they’re just being respectful. Okay, I’ll let that one slide. What about when they use the restroom or bathroom and they always take their phone with them. Or when it rings and dings and you tell them they take the call or reply back, but they don’t. Something fishy might be going on. And when you ask them who’s trying to reach you, they just brush it off and saying it’s nothing important. Could it be that side hoe they don’t want you to know? They probably know who’s calling them so that’s why they said it’s nothing important. Hmmm I’ll let you figure that one out. Or if you don’t want to figure it out, you can just assume, they are a government spy and their phone has top-secret information. So yeah…
10. You were never their #1.
A player has a lot on their mind. They are juggling their friends, dates, work, dates, the gym, 3rd dates, their goals, and maybe even more dates. All of these things are going to occupy both their mind and their schedule. If you feel like you’re consistently placed second, third, fourth, or even fifth, on their list of priorities… you’re probably right. It becomes very obvious when someone treats you differently. While this is a sad realization, it’s an obvious one. And if you notice this sign, don’t just ignore it, because this is also one of the warning signs of a player.
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Also check out: How to tell if a guy doesn’t like you
Conclusion:
Overall, a player in your life is like a shark living near a tropical beach. They have the ability to destroy all of the beauty around them when they decide to strike. You don’t know when or how it will happen, and one day that player will choose to do what they do best; use you for what they want, and leave the rest of you in the dust. So, do be alert. If some of these signs seem familiar, reevaluate this person’s intentions with you. Start to pay closer attention to see if they exhibit any more signs of being a player. If that person seems to check off almost all of these signs, then run for the hills! These are clear indications that they don’t have your best interest at heart. And then you know what they say, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” But what if you are the game and you actually control the player. Well, I’ll just let that marinate with you. So there you have it 10 warning signs of a player.