Throughout history and our lives, us women have been told over and over what we should and shouldn’t do. Don’t talk too loud, don’t wear these clothes, be polite, take care of the house and kids, juggle 500 things at once and don’t complain, blah, blah, blah.
While it sounds like I’m hopping on the bandwagon to give you one more rule to follow, hear me out on this one. There is one thing that we women should never, ever do.
The #1 Thing is:
The #1 thing a woman must never do is conform. Conforming is defined as complying with certain rules and standards of society. Now, I’m not talking about legal laws, so don’t go robbing a bank or punching anyone in the face and saying your favorite YouTube channel told you to do it. Conforming in this situation is when we women try to please others by fitting into their mold. We may behave in a way that isn’t natural to make others happy or to feel more like we belong. This is conforming, and this is what we need to stop doing.
The History:
So, when do women conform? Well, to start, throughout history. Women have long been limited to working within their households as housekeepers, cooks, nannies, and caretakers. There is nothing wrong with keeping your house clean or taking care of your own kids. What’s wrong is doing it alone or just because you’re told it’s your responsibility and not anyone else’s, like other people who are living in that house or the father of your kids.
This is ten times as important if you’re a career-oriented woman who feels pressure from a partner or family to become a mother or homemaker. No rule says you have to have children or be married by a certain age, if at all! Take hold of the reins of your future and decide what you want, when, and where. Be confident in your plans and dismiss any unsupportive comments or call out those who look down on your lifestyle choices.
Check out: What it’s like to be a woman in 2022
This leads us to another way women tend to conform – by smothering their passions. If you’re passionate about something – whether that be a sport, music, a hobby, a style, anything – don’t let someone else take that away by conforming. Just because a career or an interest is male-dominated doesn’t mean that you won’t belong or succeed in it. A great quote I think of in these scenarios says “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time.” If we don’t like something, we need to be the ones that change it!
The same is said for conforming in the workplace. How ridiculous is it that in 2022 women are still paid around 15% less than men for doing the same job? This number is even worse for women of color.
How many times has a woman been given secretarial tasks or intern-level assignments while her male counterpart received larger projects and an easier ascent to promotions and management positions? Authoritative males in many workplaces are seen as leaders, while women who display the same behaviors are called the b-word behind their backs.
To be seen as kind or to make it to the top, women have long conformed to staying at the lowly bottom of the workplace pool. This needs to stop. I’m not saying to be rude or to yell at the men you work alongside, but you can be a dominant female at your job and be proud of it. By the way, check out our video on how to be a dominant female in a relationship if you haven’t already.
Another way that women can stop conforming is through their appearance. Women have endured unrealistic body standards since the beginning of time and, unfortunately, this is changing at a painstakingly slow pace.
We are told that our hair should be done, our makeup should always be on, and our clothes should be tight and fitting but not so tight and fitting that a man gets distracted or acts inappropriately. One year the body style for women is stick-thin and the next we need to look like hourglasses. One year our eyebrows should be as fine as a string and six months later caterpillar brows are all that’s in. Talk about pressure.
Conforming to trending styles needs to stop. Women should be able to wear what they want and what they’re comfortable in. If you want to wear makeup because it makes you feel confident, rock it. If you want to wear baggy clothes or tight clothes, conservative shirts or bralettes, do you girl. We need to stop dressing up for other people and dress to impress OURSELVES.
Check out: How to achieve goals
Conclusion:
Women have juggled work, families, and hobbies for decades. We’ve gone to space and we’ve reached high political positions. We invented the feeding tube, home security system, and cataract treatment. We are smart, strong, and capable, and it’s time we stop conforming to the molds that others create for us. It’s time to make your own path in life. Take pride in your strengths, work on your weaknesses, and stick to your guns when it comes to your own life decisions.
What are some areas of your own life you conform – or don’t conform – in? I would love, love, love to hear your dialogue in the comments. I hope you all enjoyed this post and can start your day feeling more supported and supporting more women in your circle.