Teenage Relationship Advice
So recently I got a few people wanting me to talk about teenage relationship. I might get like 12 teenagers who want to view this because there was a total of 12 likes. But it’s okay. As long as I help those 12 teenagers, I’m content. Before giving teenagers advice, I asked myself what would I want to know when I was a teenager and I came up with a list of 12 things. There’s more to these 12 things but I wanted to keep the video short so I don’t bore you guys. If I had like a time machine to go back in time, these are probably the 12 things I would tell my teen self about. So here they are:
1. Be honest with your partner
It can be daunting to be completely honest with your partner. It’s a problem that even adults have in their own relationships! But it’s something crucial to having a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, especially if it is one of your first ones. If something is bothering you, let them know! While being vulnerable may feel intimidating, remember that if someone cares about you, they will appreciate your point of views and opinions.
2. Don’t panic if there is a problem or conflict
In the movies, once two people fall in love, they live together happily ever after. What the movies don’t show you is how couples can fight or get into conflicts, and how to move past these conflicts without letting it ruin their relationship. If you find yourself in an argument with your significant other, don’t panic! It isn’t necessarily the end. On the contrary, learning how to have an argument or disagreement is an important part of relationships. Keep calm and figure out together how to move past your conflict, rather than abandoning ship at the first sign of trouble.
3. Take it slow, don’t rush
It may seem like time is always running out, and that you need to hurry up and become an adult in your relationship. However, you’re still young and have lots of time! There’s no reason to rush into anything, whether it be meeting your partner’s family, holding hands for the first time, or even telling them that you love them. Whirlwind romances may sweep you off of your feet, but it’s important to remember to try and stay grounded.
4. Make sure to maintain platonic friendships too
It can be easy to lose yourself in your new relationship and want to spend every free moment that you have with your partner or significant other. However, your platonic friendships are just as important as your romantic one! If you catch yourself blowing off that movie-date you had planned with your best friend so that you can go hang out with your new significant other instead, slow down and think about how your friend would feel.
5. Don’t talk to your friends about the relationship more than you do with your partner
If you have frustrations about your relationship, or your relationship has been going so well that you’re over the moon about it, it’s natural to want to share your feelings with friends to get an outside perspective. But be careful that you aren’t talking about your perspective of your relationship with outsiders more than the actual other person involved in your relationship – your significant other or partner. Besides, it isn’t flattering to air your dirty laundry in public. And, if it’s the opposite case, keep in mind that sometimes your friends will get tired of hearing you talk about your relationship all the time.
6. Don’t forget to keep up with your education and schooling
School-work comes first! While it is important to thrive emotionally, it is also just as important that your professional and academic goals are being fulfilled just as well, if not more. Ignore the temptation to skip class to go to the park together with your partner – you can always see them after school or on the weekends, but once you fail that biology exam or even an entire class, there are no take backs, it’ll be on record. Make sure you communicate with your partner the importance of school and of your education so that you can both succeed.
7. Don’t rely too much on social media
We all know that social media, including platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook, is huge in our lives and dominates nearly every waking minute of our day. It can be tempting to keep tabs on your partner by checking their social media stories, or to try and constantly be talking to them every minute of every day. But remember that there is such a thing as too much contact! While it can be fun to send each other photos and messages through social media, there are also times when you should relax and allow yourself to trust your partner, as well as let yourself function normally without them.
8. Remember to be yourself, not just the person that you think your partner likes
Don’t get caught up in the fear that you aren’t what your partner is attracted to. Remember to be, always and unapologetically, yourself. If you catch yourself altering parts of you – pretending not to like a certain kind of music, laughing at a movie that you actually think is terrible, dressing in a way that you hate but you think that your significant other likes – then stop and reflect on what these habits are slowly starting to do to your personality, and what effects it can have on your own sense of self-worth. It’s important to remember that you are wonderful just as you are, and anyone who asks you to change important parts of yourself to please them or to be more attractive to them isn’t someone that would be healthy to be with long-term.
9. Respect your partner’s boundaries
This may very well be your or your partner’s first (or one of the first) relationships! As such, it’s important that you respect any boundaries that your partner has. This may extend to how often you see each other, how often you text or talk, or anything else of the sort. One or even both of you are bound to be nervous, especially at the beginning of this relationship. Give it time, and allow both people in the relationship to be completely comfortable with anything that involves the two of you. Any time anyone says “no, I’m not comfortable with that”, that should automatically and immediately be a red flag to stop, regroup, and go back to a situation where both parties are comfortable.
10. Respect the parents’ boundaries
While you are, of course, your own independent person with your own thoughts, desires, and personality, parents are, nevertheless, also an important aspect of your life that should not be forgotten. They do have more life experience than you do, even if it may not seem like it. Additionally, different parents have different approaches to relationships and dating when their children are concerned. If your parents or your partner’s parents voice any concerns or desired boundaries, you should be careful to heed them.
11. Be mindful of your spending
When you first start a relationship, the urge to go out and do things together is extremely strong. You may want to go watch movies at the movie theater, go out for food together, go to music concerts together… While it’s fine and fun to go out, it can also be extremely hard on your wallet, especially if you don’t have a job over the summer or after school. Keep an eye on your finances and track or budget how much you are spending! Just because you want to spend time together doesn’t mean that you have to spend money to do so – there are plenty of things that are very cost effective but just as enjoyable to do with your significant other.
12. Learn to compromise
In any relationship, either platonic or romantic, one of the most important interpersonal skills to have is that of compromise. A relationship is a two-way street, and it’s important to be able to meet your partner halfway in any difficult situation. If you find your partner or yourself giving out ultimatums, that should be an immediate red flag for unhealthy behavior. The ability to give good communication and to work together to find alternatives or middle ground for everybody involved in a decision is one of the most beneficial and advantageous in both relationships and in life.
So those are the advice I would give to you guys. I know things could be tough because when you enter a relationship, it’s like stepping into a new dimension, there’s a lot of moving parts in a relationship but you just need to stay focus and learn from the mistakes you make, and that’s how we grow. At the end of the day, no one is perfect and it’s the experiences that molds and shapes you into the person that you are. I hope that helps