If you’re watching this video, you may be wondering if that certain someone meant what they said to you about how they felt. Or, perhaps this person didn’t tell you much, but you really felt deep in your gut that they loved you without words. Then, out of the blue, it seems as though they’re not speaking to you as frequently as you would like, and it hurts. I’m here to give you a bit of a silver lining and to say that someone loves you deeply, even if they are not talking to you or present all the time. There are five main points to go over to prove that love doesn’t always need words.
Firstly, most of us have heard the expression that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Another relatable one is that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Both of these come to play when you suddenly have less contact with someone who tended to be very present in your life. No matter the reason or the circumstances as to why this is happening, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person doesn’t think you’re important anymore. This time apart is ideal to reflect on your feelings about the situation, relationship, and contact or lack thereof. How many couples have straight-up broken up only to return to one another days, weeks, months, or even years later? The time apart is when you can truly sit in silence with your thoughts and feelings and hash out how you feel about the other person, what they bring into your life, and the positive aspects you miss when they are not around.
Check out: What does it feel like to be in love?
The second important point to know is that to be a good partner, you must first have your own life in order.
One of my coworkers had a pretty long relationship with a guy who did not have it together. He was in the middle of a lawsuit, was having trouble with his temporary contract at work, and even had baby mama issues going on. This coworker would have rather the man take a month to sort himself out and come back with less on his plate but instead, he tried to juggle all of that plus a relationship with her, and it didn’t go well. Sometimes the most mature and intelligent thing you can do is to separate yourself a bit from those you love to fix the issues you have going on in your own home or head. Especially when you truly love someone and want the best for them, the last thing you should want to do is dump all of your problems onto their lap. So long as this person is communicative about why they’re taking a step back, an understanding partner or friend should validate their reasons, offer support from afar, and await a moment of reconnection. Remember that communication before a pause in conversation is also key, and you can learn more about this in another video we made called How to Have a Perfect Relationship.
A third thing that many people tend to forget, is that sometimes silence is a sign of respect.
Think about what you have going on in your own life. Do you have a long list of pending items that you need to take care of? Are you on a tight schedule or balancing 1 million things at once? If so, this person may have taken the hint and initiative to give you the space you need. If you had a disagreement or a fight, as long as it wasn’t aggressive or insulting, this person may also be giving you some space because they don’t want to step on any more boundaries or speak with you until they are certain you have calmed down from the confrontation. If this is your case, you may need to swallow your pride and take the first step to speak to one another, but don’t rush the process; some people need more time than others to process and cool off.
The fourth situation I want to talk about is some scenarios where taking care of certain obligations takes priority.
Going back to the story of my coworker, we’ve got to acknowledge that legal obligations and baby mama or parenting issues are at the forefront of his to-do list. He can’t just ignore the laws or he’ll go to jail or lose his lawsuit, and he shouldn’t ignore his own flesh and blood baby under any circumstances. If you’re with someone who’s going through a complicated time with other people or situations that don’t involve you, you may need to humble yourself and realize that you don’t deserve to be their number one priority at this very minute. It doesn’t give them the excuse to ghost you or treat you poorly, but a little communication goes a long way. If they tell you that they are overwhelmed and dealing with a lot of things, you have to take that with a grain of salt and give them the space they need. Of course, everyone needs boundaries, so you can check in after some time and if they are still unresponsive, make a decision from there. But at least give them grace and space at the beginning.
Check out: How to show someone you love them (10 ways)
The last point I want to make is that love doesn’t always need words.
The depth of someone’s love for you may not always be reflected in the frequency of their communication. They may show their love and other ways, such as sending you thoughtful messages, remembering important dates, or supporting you in your endeavors from afar. Some people are not good with words but show extreme affection and care when they are in the same physical vicinity as someone else. You could also show love by liking and subscribing, hint, hint!
We all show and receive love differently, so if this person has said that they love you and you truly feel it and reciprocate it in your gut, choose courage and give them the benefit of the doubt for now.
Not talking all the time doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about you. Being apart can make the heart grow fonder and strengthen your bond. Sometimes, they might take a step back to deal with their own stuff, and that’s actually a sign of maturity and respect. They care enough to give you space and focus on themselves to later focus on both of you together.
Of course, there are always boundaries, so make sure that you’re setting them and that you don’t allow someone to ignore you for long periods of time with no communication. Know your worth.
We all have different ways of expressing love, so it’s important to understand and respect each other’s styles. If you truly feel loved by someone, even if they’re not constantly in touch, perhaps they deserve a little more trust as you believe that their feelings are for the long run.