Signs You’re Not Meant To Be In A Relationship

Signs You’re Not Meant To Be In A Relationship

While being in a relationship with another person can be fulfilling, it shouldn’t necessarily be the end-all-be-all of interpersonal relationships.  Not everyone is ready for a relationship and all that one would entail – good communication, dedication, commitment, and maturity.  Jumping into a relationship before you are ready could be unnecessarily and heedlessly disastrous, and making sure that you’re ready to share your life with someone else before you actually go ahead and do so is an important stage of life that shouldn’t be skipped. Watch till the end and see if you show any of these 10 signs, and if so, think about how to work on those aspects of yourself that could do with some more personal growth.

1. You find it hard to compromise.

This is a huge sign that you shouldn’t be in a relationship just yet.  Most relationships are about compromise and finding balance between two people – two personalities, two lifestyles, two sets of values.  Not everything will be black and white, and it’s important to be able to sacrifice some of what you want so that everyone involves is happy with the ultimate outcome.  If you find yourself unable to see life through another person’s point of view, or if you stubbornly cling to that old adage, “It’s my way or the highway”, you may want to step back and reanalyze this component of your behavior.

2. You have issues with communication.

Hand in hand with compromise, communication is also essential to a healthy relationship.  Your partner is your partner, not a mind reader, and it’s important to be able to communicate and convey your feelings openly with them, rather than keeping things bottled up or expecting your partner to magically know what’s on your mind.  These issues can range from big to small, but it’s equally important in each case to simply just tell your partner what you are feeling.  Petty squabbles over seemingly trivial issues can build up over time and create a toxic or unenjoyable atmosphere. So making sure to cut these problems off at the root before they fester is key to maintaining an open, healthy relationship where both parties are comfortable with themselves and their partner.

3. Your time management is poor.

Being in a relationship means having to prioritize and manage your schedule, time, energy, and resources efficiently and effectively.  If you tend to procrastinate on work, then at the end of the day, any free time you have will be spent trying to catch up, rather than being free to spend time with your partner.  Make sure that you are able to take care of what needs to be taken care of, when it needs to be completed.  That way, nothing will pile up and you will be free to allocate your free time as you choose, rather than never having the chance or opportunity to spend time with your partner because you were slacking off.

4. You aren’t able to love yourself on your own.

This may seem a little counterintuitive – after all, isn’t your partner suppose to be the one who validates you, and boosts your self-confidence?  Well, yes, but it’s even more important that you can validate yourself and be confident all on your own!  While a relationship and a partner can be an extra source of confidence, support, and morale, if you are searching for that validation from an external source when you can’t provide it yourself, it will lead to messy dynamics in your relationship later on.  Seeking fulfillment solely from another person is unfair to that person, who is in turn now responsible for both themselves and for you.  Work on loving yourself first before you ask someone else to do the same!

5. You don’t know what you want.

If you don’t know what you want, whether in life or from a partner, you should figure that out first before you jump into a relationship, as this can seriously impact your relationship. Here are some of the questions you might want to consider. Where do you want to go to school? What do you want to be? Where do you want to live or settle down?  Do you want kids?  What kind of job, and what kind of working conditions, are you looking for?  What do you want out of a partner?  These are all important questions that need to be figured out first before you involve another person in your life and life decisions.

6. You have unpacked emotional “baggage”.

Are you still hung up on your ex or a past relationship?  How are you meant to commit to a new person if you’re still at least partially committed to someone else?  Make sure that you start each new relationship with a clean slate, a clear mind, and a focused heart.  Otherwise, you’ll constantly be making comparisons between your previous and current partner, whether subconsciously or not.  These comparisons are unfair to your current partner, who has no power to change or influence your past, and has to live up to some standard that simply isn’t them.

7. You change yourself to fit what you think your partner will be attracted to.

This is a big no-no.  While we often find ourselves changing to reflect our relationships and our partners, intentionally changing aspects of yourself for someone else and not for yourself is a big red flag that you aren’t self-confident enough just yet.  You want to be sure that at the end of any relationship, you still recognize yourself enough as the person you were before you start that relationship.  If you aren’t sure of yourself and of your own personality enough that you change yourself to please someone else first, slow down.

8. You’re feeling pressured to commit to a relationship or to be in one.

At the end of the day, a relationship is about you and your partner – nobody else.  And even between you and your partner, your own wants and needs are what matters.  If you are trying to be in a relationship to please other people and not yourself, this is a sign that you should bail out until you are ready, regardless of what anyone else wants from you.

9. The person you are pursuing isn’t ready for a relationship or commitment.

Remember, any relationship should be a two-way street.  If you are ready to fully commit, 100%, but you seem to be constantly dragging your partner to catch up… then you should let them take some time, too.  Calm down, take it slow.  If it’ll be, then it’ll be.

10. You simply don’t want one.

This might be a no-brainer, but it’s more impactful than you’d think.  Are you pursuing a relationship simply because it is what you feel that you should do?  That it’s the next logical step in your life, regardless of whether you actively want it or not?  This isn’t the 1800’s anymore – you aren’t required to be in a relationship at any stage in your life.  If you don’t want to be in a relationship, then you shouldn’t be in one.  It’s as easy as that.