INFJs are one of the 16 personality types, nicknamed the “Advocates.” Representing introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging qualities, INFJs are usually empathetic, insightful, and idealistic individuals who have a desire to understand and help others. Does this sound like you or someone you know? You might be curious about what this means in relationships; we’ve got your back. Let’s dig into INFJ relationships – what you need to know about them in love and friendships.
1. INFJs are not for the shallow.
If I had to sum up INFJ relationships in one word, that word would be deep. These advocates run away screaming from Lady Gaga’s song “Shallow” because it is just not how they live their lives. Advocates need depth and meaning in their relationships, for friends, lovers, and anything in between. They look for compatibility by discussing the nitty-gritty. This means they talk about beliefs, values, desires, dreams, and all of that good stuff.
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2. INFJs thrive off the fairytale.
A big trait that most INFJs share is being idealistic. They strive to meet the perfect person for them, often creating this romanticized and beautiful picture in their mind of who that will be. The problem is that perfect doesn’t exist, sadly for the Advocate, but that doesn’t mean they don’t find someone. They may hold out to try and meet their perfect match, but eventually, someone comes close and they feel that they connect deeply enough to make the relationship count. Once you get an INFJ to fall for you, count your blessings! They will be warm, open, and insightful partners who are always working to deepen your connection and meet your innermost needs. Think therapy-level love. In a good way, of course!
3. INFJs need to connect on a moral level.
Advocates have a pretty high moral standing. They know what they value and they will not be pleased by anyone who tries to deter them from their values. They hope for the same level of sincerity back. Along those same lines, they will always be looking for integrity and honesty in their partner. While related, there are slight differences to note. Integrity is connected to having strong moral or ethical principles, which means your actions align with your beliefs. Advocates don’t have time for hypocrites. Honesty, on the other hand, is being transparent and truthful in both your words and actions. You’ve got to have both of these qualities to capture the attention – and affection – of an INFJ.
Check out: 3 Ways to understand an INFJ
4. INFJs express their love openly.
INFJs don’t shy away from showing their love. If you aren’t used to this, get ready for PDA and love like you haven’t experienced before. Once they’re in it, they’re in it. They will give you action, words of affirmation, and attention like no other partner has probably provided for you before. Of course, they fairly expect similar behavior back, so you may have to up your ante to show them the love they deserve. If you want to grow your connection with an INFJ you aren’t dating yet, be sure to keep finding creative and unique ways to make them feel special in the meantime. I promise you’ll get big brownie points that way!
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5. INFJs light up when they trust you.
Without trust a friendship is just you and your coworker saying, “Hi, how was your weekend?” “Good thanks, and you?” “Good, good.” Yeah, those conversations. Yuck! INFJs don’t have time for shallow things, as you now know, and they also don’t have time for a lack of trust. You need to establish this with an Advocate through time, being genuine, and talking about the tough stuff. Once you open up and establish that trust, you’ll learn things about them that few people do – like their deepest fears, dreams, and thoughts. Once you get the ball rolling, they’ll keep pushing it to grow your intimacy and connection.
6. INFJs value the realness.
Advocates have a sixth sense of knowing when someone is fake or superficial. It’s like a police dog smelling drugs. They will catch it and you will be a goner – at least out of their life. On the opposite side, they are attracted to realness and goodness. They can sense honesty and people who are true to themselves, so if your values and sincerity align, you will surely feel a connection with an INFJ.
So, are you an INFJ or are you getting to know one? Let me know in the comments!