If you’re in the feels with a new girl, you may be overthinking everything from how you say hello to how you text. It’s easy to get caught up in the butterflies and feel nervous, which is why we’re going to refresh how to text a girl you like. You’ll definitely be able to use at least half of these tips, if not more, and get the conversation flowing. So, here are 10 ways to do it.
1. Consider the day, time, and context.
When you are texting a girl, you’ve got to be precise in choosing the when and why. Texting her any time after 10 pm is going to come off thirsty… I mean, unless she likes it. Sometimes texting her between 10 pm and 7 am is slightly neurotic and anything between 7 am and 9 pm is in the clear. You should also consider the day. If she’s working or in school, texting her at 11 am on a weekday probably isn’t the best time because she’s going to be too busy to answer you and focus on the conversation. Opt for a weekend, late afternoon, or early evening and don’t fret if she doesn’t respond right away – you never know what she may be up to.
Check out: 9 Signs a girl is testing you over text
2. Ask if you’re texting the right person.
This works best if you’ve got her number through someone else, although it could also be a neutral conversation starter. For example, imagine you get Stacy’s number. Text her saying, “Hey, is this Stacy?” and wait for her response. This is better than just hitting her with a “Heyyyy” and sounding like you’re flirting with her already, plus it’s also respectful because you don’t sound too invasive on that first convo attempt.
3. Start with a question or a joke.
If you have trouble figuring out how to initiate a conversation with this girl, you can always start with a question or – if you’re a funny guy – with a joke. Questions could be something like asking her if she knows more about a certain topic, asking for recommendations, or even asking her opinion on something trivial that you’re thinking about. Jokes could be gifs, memes, punny one-liners, or, if it’s your thing, bring out the dad jokes.
4. Wait for a holiday or special occasion.
Raise your hand if you’ve gotten a text from an ex on a holiday. I have a feeling I’m not the only one. Shy guys out there can steal this trick and use holidays and special occasions as the perfect excuse to text a girl they’re into. You can wait for big general holidays like Christmas, Fourth of July, or Thanksgiving or, better yet, reach out to her if it’s her birthday, she’s accomplished something big, or she’s celebrating something within her own family that she’s made public.
Check out: How to know if a girl likes you over text
5. Get her to weigh in on a debate.
You can always invent or share a debate you’re having with a friend or family member and ask this girl to weigh in. You get to learn more about her perspective while also starting a light chat that can easily segue into future conversations.
6. Spark her curiosity.
As you’re texting this girl, it’s important to pique her interest. After all, you want her to want to talk to you and hit you up again in the future. You can share details about your life, but keep some things mysterious. This should prompt her to ask you some questions which will show she’s into the conversation and learning more about you. You can also add a few ellipses marks here and there to do the trick, but be sure not to overuse these.
7. Keep conversations quick and interesting.
No one likes a dragged-out text conversation. Since humans tend to have the attention span of goldfish with technology, it’s best to get in, make a good impression, and get out. If the convo starts to die, end it yourself by wishing her a good rest of the day or saying that you’ll talk to her soon. Try to have a conclusive end so it doesn’t just fizzle out or seem like you’ve ghosted.
8. Use her feedback to guide your responses.
If she’s texting you back one-word answers or taking three hours to respond and barely explaining herself for it, accept the cues and let it go. My good friend Maria was dealing with a guy recently who just would not stop texting her. Funny thing is, she was really into him at first, but he became so overwhelming when she was busy at work that she ended up cutting things off real fast. Read the room.
9. Tell her you’ve been thinking about her.
This method should only be used if you already established rapport with her and have been texting for more than a week or two. Trust me, saying it before this would sound creepy. Why are you thinking of me if we barely speak? Talk about stalker vibes. Once you’ve got that rapport, though, tell her you’ve been thinking about her and follow up with why. This will turn into a compliment without being too mushy-gushy.
Check out: 9 Crazy signs she’s constantly thinking about you
10. Keep the conversation about her.
Humans are naturally selfish people; we can’t help it. Even the humblest of us love to talk about ourselves. Yep, that’s me. Anyway, use this to your advantage by steering the conversation toward this girl’s interests. Ask her about what she likes, provide follow-up questions, and learn more about her interests and what she’s passionate about. You’ll be able to figure her out as a person while also keeping her entertained with conversation topics she enjoys! Of course, if she asks you something, be sure to respond with the same energy.
Conclusion:
Texting someone you like should be natural, but a lot of us get hung up on overthinking everything we say. Treat this chick almost like you would a friend you text and you might find the situation much less nerve-wracking. Let me know how it goes in the comments! So there you have it 10 ways on how to text a girl you like.