How To Tell If A Guy Is Interested In You Or Just Being Friendly
Have you ever been in a situation that just seems unclear? You know, that weird gray area where you really aren’t sure if things are what you think they are? I’m not talking about bending reality, or trying to figure out the latest conspiracy theory. The gray area I’m talking about today is the smallest fine line between two completely different human interactions: flirty or friendly. Sometimes, figuring this out is like trying to see clearly without your glasses. Is he into me, or just being nice? Luckily for us, there are some physical and psychological signs on how to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly and there are 10 ways you can tell.
1. What kind of questions does he ask you?
Any good conversations will have questions posed by the people involved. Remember, I said GOOD CONVERSATION, so I’m not just talking about the small-talk like, “Hi, how are you?” boring conversations. If a guy is just being friendly, he’ll generally ask you how things are going, and he’ll have a short conversation with you. He probably won’t follow up again after talking to you. It’s like one of those conversations you have with an old friend you lost touch with, when you randomly bump into them at a local store. However, when a guy is interested, his conversation will be much more personal. Instead of just asking you what’s up, he will get into the details. He could ask about family, hobbies, and personal opinions. When you do share these details about your life, he’s going to remember them and bring them up again in later conversations. This makes your communication much more personal, emotional, and intense. Does his conversation make you smile and feel appreciated and listened to? If so, he could definitely be interested in you.
2. Is he touchy-feely or an arms-length away?
For those of you who thought that Mandarin-Chinese is the most popular language in the world, you’re wrong. And how do I know? Easy. Because the most popular language in the world is body language. There are various studies that have come to the same conclusion– nonverbal body language accounts for the majority of human communication. When you’re with the guy, pay attention to his physical presence. No, no, I’m not telling you to stare at his biceps while drooling. Take a look at how he stands or sits. Now, if he’s always at a distance and seems closed off to physical touching, maybe he’s just a friendly guy who isn’t looking for anything more. But what if his arms are open and he leans towards you? Do you catch him staring at you from time to time? When he’s joking around, does he playfully touch your shoulder or find an excuse to graze your hand? These are all body language signs of attraction! If so, this guy is definitely interested.
3. How often do you see each other?
I’m sure you’re a busy person. There’s a lot to do nowadays, and plenty of opportunities to do even more. What is also true, though, is that all people make time for the things that are important to them. This is also the case when you’re interested in someone. When a guy is interested, he will definitely want to be with you. I don’t just mean Netflix and chill. I mean that he will do all he can to make time to see you in, whether it be on dates, for group hangouts, or even to study or work in the same space. Building relationships requires some face-to-face time, and if this guy is putting in the effort to make that happen, he probably isn’t just looking for a new friend. Most likely, he’s into you.
4. Is he there through thick and thin?
A friendly guy is polite, helpful and nice. Kind of like that the server who waits your table and takes your order. But a guy who is interested in you will do all of that plus being kind, caring, and supportive. It would be a little weird if your server told you to call them when you’re feeling a little down or sad. See the difference? This means that a guy who is interested in you is available and there for you when things are getting rough. Sometimes in life, things suck. People might get sick, families go through rough transitions, and school or work can become overwhelming. A guy who is interested is going to tell you that he will even be there for you during your low points in life. He’ll reassure you that he’s going to support you and make sure that you’ll get through it as best as you can.
5. How connected are your social circles?
Nowadays, most of us have different groups of people we interact with. We have school friends, work acquaintances, people who share our hobbies, family, etc. A friendly guy will say hi to your friends if he happens to come across them, but won’t start making friends with your friends. On the other hand, when a guy is interested in you, he’s going to befriends your friends, colleagues and your family members. He will even invite you to certain events where you’ll get to meet his family or friends, if he has any. This is a way to forge a stronger connection and trust between you two. So, if he’s trying to make connections within your social circle, then it’s most likely he’s interested in you and want something long term with you. If not, then he’s just a friendly dude.
6. Will he jump to your defense?
A good friend, and even a good love interest, will tease you from time to time. It’s natural. We might even have a friend who is super sarcastic all the time. While this is all fun and games, there may be a time when someone crosses the line and says something hurtful to you. In these situations, it’s important to see how your guy reacts when another person goes too far. Does he laugh along, and tells you to brush it off? If so, then he’s just a friend or a guy who doesn’t care. Or does he go on being defensive and demand the joke sayer to apologize to you? If so, this guy is super into you. A guy who is interested in you will take anything against you, personally. When we have feelings for someone, it’s innate for us to want to keep them safe and happy. We all know you can defend yourself, but this reaction will come naturally for someone who is interested in you. So, take it as a compliment!
7. Is he nervous around you?
A polite and friendly guy will not feel nervous in social situations, because he has no reason to. He’s just living life with his normal, friendly personality. But when he begins to develop feelings for someone, though, he changes into one of those emoji with big eyes, blushing. Ok, maybe it’s not that obvious, but you get the picture. A guy who is interested in you is going to show a few signs of nervousness. Maybe after looking at him directly for a few seconds, he looks away and at the ground. If he’s a blusher, you’ll notice his cheeks or ears get redder than a red lipstick. He might mix his nerves with a bit of anxiety by nail biting, or picking at something invisible in his laps. Another indicator is if he throws in extra filler words while speaking. Filler words are words and sounds such as: um, er, like, well, hm. We tend to use these when we want more time to think about what we’re going to say and try to avoid those awkward silences. All of these are signs of nervousness and the reason he is nervous is because he’s into you.
8. Does he make it obvious that he’s available?
Flirting is as common today as it was 50 years ago. Even if some of us have trouble imagining our parents flirting, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that EW, YES, they did But there’s different kinds of flirting. Some painless and gainless flirting can be done by a friendly guy who just wants to have a few laughs, and then walks out without any more discussion. Those are the guy who just want attention and have a fun time. But flirting with a guy who is interested in you is different, he is going to make it VERY clear that he is available for more than just a few compliments. The first signs are that he makes it clear as crystal that he is single, ISN’T speaking with anyone else, and that he hints to you about relationships. These are the big, fat hints he wants you to pick up on. Does he keep asking about who you like? Maybe he mentions how any guy would be lucky to have you. He wants to makes it clear that he’s ready for a relationship and he has someone in mind. Who is it? Just look in a mirror for the answer!
9. What does your friends say about the guy?
Hit the F key on your keyboard if you’ve ever had a problem solved by some simple advice. Sometimes we see a problem as this huge, overarching storm, when in reality it’s just one raincloud. A friend a mile away can say “Hey, that’s just one cloud, dude. It’ll be gone in like 15 minutes.” And meanwhile we’re freaking out because we think it’s a category 5 hurricane. This is due to perspective. The same is true when you’re trying to figure out a guy’s motives. A friend on the outside is able to view all of your interactions, conversations, and public hangouts with open eyes. They don’t have cloudy vision because they aren’t emotionally involved. Ask your friend, or better yet, a mutual friend, what they think about the situation at hand. There’s a good chance they’ll be able to quickly tell you if a guy is just being nice… or if he’s really into you.
10. How much does he open up to you?
Sometimes guys can be tough to crack, and – emotionally speaking – it’s not every day you get a guy to open up to you. Sharing raw feelings, dreams, and insecurities can leave anyone feeling vulnerable. And, honestly, no one is going to let themselves feel that way unless there is a lot of trust involved. If your guy is more of a short Buzzfeed article than an open book, he’s just a friendly pal. If he’s like a novel bursting open and sharing emotions with you, then I hope you have some time for this romance because he’s definitely interested in you.
So, there you have it, 10 signs on how to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly. I hope this cleared up the gray area for you to help you see more of the black and white picture of things. Now that you know this, try planning your next move and see where it takes you.