How To Talk To A Girl You Like
We’ve all been there at one point or another – there is a cute girl that you just can’t stop thinking about, that you want to make her smile and laugh, and that you want to spend hours and hours talking to her about everything and anything. But how? You very well can’t just stride up to her and say, “I like you, please talk to me!” (Well, you could, but that would require a level of confidence that not everyone have!) Most of the time, initiating contact or a conversation is a task that seems daunting, scary, and nearly impossible to do well – especially if you get butterflies in your stomach every time you see them, or all the words you have prepared in your head seem to just fly out the door as soon as they look at you.
Not to fear, as long as you try to keep a calm head, talking to your crush actually isn’t as hard or as difficult as you may think. The following are 8 tips on how to talk to a girl you like to make the conversation flow smoothly without you choking up!
1. Make some jokes!
Nothing is more attractive than someone who is funny. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac, and if you can make her smile, she will enjoy talking to you. This may be a little difficult, depending on your sense of humor, but the best policy is just to make jokes that you think are funny, and if she thinks they are too, then more power to you! What you don’t want to do is try to say what you think she wants to hear – just be yourself. If you say something witty or awkward, own it! They won’t know. Joking about current events, or something that happened recently, are good ways to incorporate some humor into your conversation and keep it fun.
2. Smile and make eye contact.
Relax and remember that nonverbal cues are just as important in a conversation as your words. Try not to be stiff. Smile and laugh to keep things light hearted. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable she can be around you! Just because you have feelings for someone, doesn’t mean you need to treat them any differently when you speak to them. Remember that they’re just a person, too! A smile can go a long way towards warming someone’s heart to you. Plus, flashing your killer smile at her will show her how good looking you are when you grin! Even if you are nervous, a too-serious face when it is not appropriate may come off as too somber, or that you are not enjoying talking to her. And if you are not enjoying the conversation, why would she want to continue to talk to you?
3. Just do it.
Whether you are texting her, or you see her across the room in a crowded area, the first and most crucial step is to just do it. Get over your fear, even if you’re nervous, or anxious, or so flustered that you are afraid that you might make a fool of yourself. If you don’t even try, then you’ll automatically fail. Go ahead, hit send and text her first, or go over to her and introduce yourself if you haven’t met before. If you have, it is perfectly fine to say, “Oh hi again! How are you?” Just get the ball rolling! Even if you have to talk about the weather of all things, at least it’s something.
4. Be engaging.
Ask her questions, don’t just talk about yourself the whole time. Get her opinion on things, but also share your own. Maintaining a conversation can be difficult even at the best of times, and it could be even more difficult if you’re nervous or jittery. Ask her about her day, or what she’s been up to. By showing interest in her life, she will see that you genuinely want to know more about her! And by asking her questions, it will allow her to steer the conversation to where she’s comfortable, making those pesky awkward silences less frequent.
5. Share about yourself.
While it is good to make sure that she is actively participating in your conversation, it is equally important that you are also responding and talking! Make sure you’re not just interrogating her – chime in with related anecdotes or opinions. Tell her about yourself, your hobbies and interests, what you have been up to, things about your day – while it can be nerve-wracking to share about yourself, lest you end up oversharing, conversations are always a two-way street. Make sure that she doesn’t feel like she’s carrying the entire conversation! Plus, the more you open up about yourself, the more it shows her that you are comfortable around her – and by doing so, you can skip the awkward, stilted introductory small-talk and jump more readily into an actual conversation that engages both of you.
6. Practice.
If you find yourself constantly at a loss for words, or everything you planned to say goes out the window as soon as you open your mouth, you may want to practice. If you know you’re going to run into this person, or you have something specific and particular on your mind that you want to tell them, it can help to practice or rehearse the conversation and your talking points beforehand. It can be with a friend, or another girl, or just with yourself in the bathroom mirror, but physically forcing yourself to say and hear your words may help you see where your conversation may teeter towards awkward or hard to respond to. If your main stumbling block is that you don’t have much experience talking to girls in general, then go out and make some more female friends!
7. Gather a group of friends.
If talking to the girl you like one-on-one is still a little too daunting for you to deal with right now, you can create a situation where it is more casual and easier to interact with one another. If you have mutual friends or a friend group, go ahead and think of an activity that you can all do together, or just have a get-together. If the going gets too tough, then your other friends can serve as a sort of buffer to keep the energy level high and the conversation flowing without getting too awkward. This way, the pressure will come off a little and you can relax more around her. Friends can always be good wingmen – even if they may not know it! Plus, having other people involved in the conversation can give you extra talking points if you are too nervous to think of something to say.
8. Keep an open mind.
Sometimes, when we have a crush on someone or have feelings for them, we start to build our own image of them in our heads. And that image in our head made not necessarily match up with their personalities and who they actually are in real life. So be flexible, go with the flow, and roll with the punches – if she reacts to something you say a little differently than you expected or anticipated, no need to fret! The whole point of talking to this person is to find out more about her as a person, and that naturally entails her having her own personality independent of what anyone else may think or assume of her. Don’t be upset if the conversation doesn’t go where or how you initially intended or wanted. The surprise of someone’s unexpected traits and quirks are part of the fun!
Overall, I can’t stress the importance of just doing it because if you don’t, you’ll never get what you want. You may get rejected and that she doesn’t want to talk to you and that’s okay, it’s all part of life. The more you do it, the better you’ll become, and sooner or later, you’ll have a wife and a few kids in no time. I mean if that’s you want. Haha