Being forgotten hurts. Have you ever felt like you gave someone a part of you only to have them walk away without looking back? Maybe you dated this person or shared your vulnerabilities with them.
On the flip side, you may have cared for this person deeply, but in secret. No matter what you thought or did, though, those feelings were never reciprocated. That hurts too.
Breaking these connections and getting this person out of your heart and mind is no easy task, but this post is here to help. Here’s how to stop thinking about someone who doesn’t care about you, once and for all.
1. Acknowledge that the person does not want you.
Sigh*. Even saying that out loud hurts, but it needs to be said. This person does not want to be with you, because if they did, they would be with you. Plain and simple. We like to make excuses when the reality is sitting in front of us.
Now, just because this person doesn’t want you doesn’t mean it’s about you – it’s actually about them. They have decided to go their own way for personal reasons and personal reasons alone, and you need to do the same. You deserve someone who is going to choose you every day with all of their effort and without any doubts. You are nobody’s second choice or settlement. You are number one and deserve to be treated as such.
Coming to terms with the fact that this person doesn’t care about you hurts. It doesn’t mean they want the worst for you or think negatively of you, it just means they don’t have the bandwidth or interest to prioritize you in their life, and that’s their right. Remember, you never want to be someone’s second choice or “I guess” partner. You deserve to be put on a pedestal, so thank goodness you aren’t with this person or you would have to accept less.
By the way, if you’re feeling so down in the dumps that these thoughts are stopping you from doing your daily tasks, check out another video we made that could help, called, “I Can’t Get Motivated – What Do I Do?”
2. Keep your distance – no matter how hard.
A large part of accepting reality and moving forward is distancing yourself from this person. If you see them consistently, you’re going to hurt consistently and much worse than you would hurt alone.
If you can’t avoid them because you work together or share friends, limit your interactions as much as possible. Maybe you need to be reassigned to a different team or take a few personal days. Keep. Your. Distance.
This includes social media, people! You aren’t keeping your distance if you’re looking through their posts, pics, and comments every day to keep tabs on their lives. This is called online stalking and we don’t want to do this for our mental health. Mute them, unfollow them, or just stay off the app altogether. Stop torturing yourself.
Unlike this uncaring noob, this channel is always here to love and support you. Please subscribe to show your support back; you know I appreciate you!
3. Focus on the negatives.
This is probably the only time on this channel you’ll hear me say this phrase, but it’s important to focus on the negatives if you want to stop thinking about someone. When we try to cut off a connection, we tend to look back idealistically and pine for those good moments that disappeared all so soon. The thing is, we use our imagination here and focus solely on the good, which makes it harder for us to move on. Here’s where the negative comes in. This person hurt you. They chose to dump your sad sack of emotions in the trash and move on with their life. They suck!
Not only that, but I’m sure they did a thing or two while they were in your life that rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe they were horrible at replying to texts or said something once that made you furious. Focus on those things and comment the worst thing about them under this post! The more your brain can paint this person in a negative light, the faster you’ll be able to leave them behind in your thoughts altogether.
4. Surround yourself with good things and good people.
When you’re sitting on your sofa bored at home alone, your mind is going to wander and this person is going to pop up. You can only stop thinking about one thing if you’re thinking about another instead. It’s just how the human brain works; unless you’re able to turn off your thoughts, in which case please make your own video so you can teach all of us how.
Start making plans. Do all the fun things with your favorite people. Lean on your loved ones, get outside, plan a weekend getaway, and try new things. These fun and exhilarating experiences are what will slowly fill your brain, leaving less room for this person to linger within your thoughts.
Check out: How to get over a guy who doesn’t like you back
5. Consider therapy if it’s just too much.
There are tons of cognitive-behavioral tools that can help us change our thoughts. Google cognitive behavioral therapy tips for some tools that may help you rewire the way you think about things. If that still doesn’t work, turn to a professional therapist, counselor, or psychologist who can guide you even further. I know you’ve got this!
Conclusion:
It may take some time to stop thinking about someone who doesn’t care about you, and that’s OK. Meanwhile, you have plenty of people in your corner who care and are cheering you on – me included!