Being an introvert has its perks and downfalls. On the one hand, you get a lot of chill time and avoid those loud dramatic people who are always “oh-my-God” -ing and making a fuss. On the other hand, you may sometimes feel isolated or awkward around new people, large crowds, or even speaking to someone one-on-one. Luckily, you can enjoy being an introvert and still have social skills in your pocket to use when you need them. That’s why today we’re learning how to quickly develop social skills as an introvert and how to use them!
1. Increase your confidence.
Confidence is key when it comes to talking to others, and you’ll want to build real confidence if you want to have well-developed social skills. After all, if you’re stammering and s-s-stuttering and covering your face with your hair or hands while speaking, even the best conversation will get drowned out by your unconfident behavior. To increase confidence, you first need to put your best foot forward. Take care of your physical appearance and be comfortable with the style you choose. I remember being an awkward and self-conscious middle schooler because I never liked my appearance or thought I was talented. By college, I had figured out what to do with my hair, hit the gym, and was confident in at least a few of my skills. You wouldn’t believe how my socialization flew through the roof! And you can do it much faster, I’m sure.
After getting your appearance on point, next, recognize what you’re good at, think about what you can improve on, and write affirmations about both. Recite these daily as you work on your goals and strengthen your skills. Finally, be kind to yourself. What you constantly think about yourself is what you will manifest in your actions, so keep your thoughts in check.
Check out: How to love yourself and be confident
2. Remember that you care more than others.
The biggest barrier to developing social skills is worrying too much about what others think. I’ll always remember one girl from my old job who was so shy around others. The craziest part? She could have literally been a model and when you did manage to talk to her, she also had a great personality. When we became friends, this girl confided in me that she was worried everyone thought she was weird. Did anyone actually think that? No way! Most people just thought she was quiet and not much else, but her own insecurities created these fake stories in her head that stopped her from stretching out her social butterfly wings.
3. Work on your empathy.
Being social means that you can relate to others, and it’s almost impossible to relate to others without empathy. This is as easy as taking a minute to think about how the other person feels because this is needed to connect and create vital social bonds. Without a bond, you aren’t social, you’re just a superficial conversation. I’ll never forget a day I asked to leave work early because my uncle had died. My boss at the time, who was a word I can’t say on YouTube, told me that “Life was tough and work didn’t stop just because of inconveniences.” Yep, you heard that right. Safe to say the guy was pretty much hated in the office and didn’t last very long in his supervisory role. Hope you’re watching this and have developed some empathy, Ethan.
Check out: How to make someone feel special
4. Talk to people you know.
Once you’ve got your confidence, thoughts, and empathy in mind, it’s time to take more detailed steps in developing your social skills. First, start with people you already know to make things easier. Your close friends and family don’t count – I’m talking about people you know from sight at school, work, or in your neighborhood. For example, my brother used to be pretty shy, but one day he got the courage to talk to the girl who made his coffee every morning at Starbucks. Guess who are still friends five years later? Yep, my bro and barista girl.
5. Start small.
You can’t eat a whole cake in an hour, but you could probably polish off a slice every 20 minutes and finish it by the end of the day. Am I telling you to eat a whole cake? Definitely not but it sounds like a challenge I would take on. What I am saying is to start small. You don’t need to present in front of a group yet or introduce yourself to the President of the United States, you just have to start speaking. Our last three ways to develop social skills are easy and can be done almost anywhere you go.
Check out: 10 Easy conversation starters that always work
6. Smile, compliment, or ask a stranger.
Developing any skill depends on how much you practice, so to truly develop your social skills, you’ll need to get out there. The easiest ways to start are by smiling or complimenting a stranger. You could smile at the cashier and say “Thank you” after they give you your change or toss a smile to a person who passes you in the hallway. Compliments could be as neutral as saying “I like your shirt” or as personal as telling someone they are funny or have a great smile. Finally, try a higher tier of socialization by asking a stranger a question to start a conversation. Inquire about the best place to eat in the area, where they’re from, or even about general directions if you’re feeling nervous. So long as you speak to someone new, you are already growing your social skills!
Conclusion:
Extroverts may have been blessed with easy chit-chatting, but an introvert with social skills is a force to be reckoned with. Being social is as developable a skill as playing piano or shooting hoops so long as you practice, so what better way to gain social skills than to be more social? Using these concrete tips, of course! So there you have it 6 ways on how to quickly develop social skills as an introvert.