Are you trying to stay stagnant in life, never growing or improving, and always being just “eh?” No? Good, then you’re in the right place. To grow, become more self-aware, and learn from your experiences you need to know how to self-reflect – the right way.
Self-reflection is when we contemplate our thoughts, feelings, and actions to learn more about ourselves. Are you ready to reach new heights both with yourself and others? Then it’s time to learn how to practice self-reflection the right way.
1. Start with gratitude.
Starting with gratitude will set you up with a positive tone for your self-reflection. Believe it or not, you can self-reflect incorrectly, and that usually starts with negative self-talk or thoughts. Fight this possibility by being thankful. Acknowledge the things that you’re thankful for, from the comfort of your couch to the salary you’re paid at work. Gratitude creates an optimistic mindset that helps you shift from a victim perspective to one of resilience and strength. Once you’re thankful, then you’re ready for step two.
2. Talk to yourself.
If you’re yelling at nothing on the sidewalk, you may be deemed unhealthy. If you talk to yourself as you work through tasks on your own, however, you could be healthier. Research has shown that self-talk in these scenarios improves cognitive performance and concentration. Self-talkers tend to experience less anxiety and display more confidence. Not only that but speaking to yourself in the third person can help manage negative emotions. For example, imagine Sara is going through a tough time. If she says or even writes, “Sara will get through this,” she is distancing herself from the negativity as a safeguard. She can then speak to herself and say things like, “You’re doing OK. It’s going to get better. You’ve got this.” Self-reflection is about taking in what’s going in around you, but if it’s an upsetting situation you may self-reflect poorly and get down in the dumps. By first speaking to yourself, you rationalize your emotions and process what’s happening more rationally.
By the way, if you’re talking to yourself because of an issue with someone in your life, you may want to check out another video we made called “How to influence others without them knowing”
3. Ask the right questions.
A well-worded question can trigger insight that you’ve never had before. Unfortunately, most of us avoid asking or answering tough questions because they’re uncomfortable. Here’s a news flash, though – growth only happens outside of your comfort zone! For example, if you’ve never subscribed to a YouTube channel before, jump out of your comfort zone and subscribe to this one today.
Ok, now back to questions. The right questions are thoughtful and will make you think deeply about your motivations, goals, and values. Here are some examples.
-What are my core values, and am I living in alignment with them?
-What motivates me to pursue my goals, and how can I use these motivations to overcome obstacles?
-What patterns or habits do I notice in my behavior – good and bad – and how do they impact my personal growth?
-Am I nourishing activities that promote my well-being, or am I neglecting my needs?
-What lessons have I learned from past challenges or failures, and how can I apply these to navigate future difficulties?
4. Compare your present to your future.
Self-reflection is about seeing where we are, why we are here, and who we are. Growth is about envisioning who we want to become and filling in the gap between now and then. By visualizing who you want to be in 1, 5, or even 10 years, you can set meaningful goals and decide what habits you need to start now. If you have a tough time creating a plan, start small. Think of who you’d like to be in one or five years. What kinds of habits does future you do to live that kind of life? Start implementing those habits now as part of your self-reflection.
5. Consider meditation.
Mindful meditation can sound very woo-woo, but it’s truly a great tool for self-reflection. And this is coming from someone who hates meditation. It’s really tough for me to just sit there in the moment – trust me – but I have to admit that it does hold its value. By being aware of the present moment, we can observe our thoughts and gain clarity on where we are in life.
To reap the most benefits from meditation, set aside a short time to meditate every day to make it a habit. It doesn’t have to be very long. Choose a meditation technique such as focused breathing or a body scan; there are plenty of short how-to videos available for these online. Then, during meditation, explore your emotions and thoughts. It’s normal for your mind to wander. If it does, just bring it back calmly and nonjudgmentally, noticing your thought patterns. You can also set an intention for your meditation, like cultivating gratitude, developing compassion, or enhancing focus.
Check out: The morning routine of successful individuals
6. Journal.
Whether you took AP English in high school or failed that creative writing course in college, there is a huge benefit to journaling when it comes to growth and self-reflection. Thinking is one thing, but writing down those thoughts allows us to have a record of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences to see how emotions, behaviors, and aspirations connect. Using a pen and paper or even your keyboard and a text document, try out journaling to prompt your self-reflection journey. You can start writing about something that brings up a strong emotion, something you’re wrestling with, or just how you’re feeling that day. You can also use journaling prompts and questions, such as the questions we mentioned earlier in number three. Some other great journaling questions for self-reflection are:
-What are three things I’m genuinely grateful for in my life right now, and why are they meaningful to me?
-What are the biggest obstacles or challenges I currently face, and what steps can I take to overcome them or navigate them with strength and grace?
-When I visualize my ideal self ten years from now, what goals have I achieved and how have they shaped my life? How will I feel when I achieve them?
Conclusion:
Most of the people you know will live out their lives utilizing only a small percentage of their potential. They won’t ask the hard questions or know why they behave how they do. But a small percentage of us – likely you since you’ve made it to the end of this post – will seek out the hard questions, push ourselves out of our comfort zones, and truly live our best lives through self-reflection. Are you ready? I know I am. Get after it! And, as always, thanks for reading.