People these days are great at giving mixed signals. One moment you’d bet your life savings they’re into you, the next you think you were mistaken and that this person sees you as if you were their second cousin twice removed. Figuring out how to know someone likes you has never been harder, but there are 5 strategies you can try to get to the bottom of it today.
1. Observe their behavior with another guy or girl.
If someone is kind, flirty, and dedicated to you but also acts that way with every other person in their life, you probably wouldn’t think your relationship is very special. Let me tell you about my good friend Elmer. Elmer is an absolute gem. He will help you out even if he barely knows you and is an angel in human form. Someone who meets Elmer off the bat could think he’s perfect and maybe even into them, but after seeing him interact with anyone else they’ll quickly see he’s just a diamond of a human being… plus, he’s quick to point out that he’s happily married, but that’s aside the point.
This is why it’s so important to have a baseline to compare to. Does this person like you or are they like this with everyone? To find out, it’s time to observe them with a few other people. If you have the chance to watch from afar in a non-creepy way, check out how this person is with another guy or girl and compare it to their behavior with you. Don’t think every Elmer likes you – most are just kind.
Check out: How to know if someone likes you without talking to them
2. Chat with their friends.
They say no one knows you like your friends, especially when you’re younger. My closest friends support me even when I’m being hardheaded, but they’re usually right about things way before they happen. I’ll always remember when I was talking to my friend about a problem I was having with a guy I dated and she said, “Well, it sounds like you know what you’re going to do about this.” At first, I was confused because I was initially asking her for advice, but then I realized from the way I described the situation that I did know what I should do, and that’s what I did. Friends truly know about their friends.
If you have the chance to chat with this guy or girl’s friends, ask them about what they think of you and this person together. You’ll quickly get an idea of whether or not it’s a possibility by their reaction. If they get excited or sound like it could be in the cards, the other person probably likes you. If the friend seems hesitant or says you should just ask the person yourself, they probably feel awkward because they don’t think the other person is into you.
3. Try flirting on social media.
Flirting on social media is like the taste-test samples they give out at bulk grocery stores. You get to taste out the mini pig-in-a-blanket or spinach tart before deciding if you want to buy a box of 50 to eat for the next two weeks. Flirting on social media lets you test the waters too, before you put yourself out there. If you haven’t already, start by adding or following this person on social media first. If they don’t accept your request or follow you back, this is a flat-out sign that they don’t like you.
But if they do accept, like 3 of their pics in a row. They can be consecutive photos or pics from different times, but it’s important to like them all within the same five to ten minutes. This is the social media equivalent of saying “HEY, I think you’re attractive.” If, after this, they like your pics back, start responding to your stories, or slide into your DMs, they like you. If they don’t do anything, you should back off a bit for now because it’s still too soon to tell.
4. Compliment them and pay attention to their reaction.
Think of a genuine and heartfelt compliment you could give this person and lay it on them when you’re both alone. If they seem flustered, blush, or can’t stop smiling, this could point to a little crush they have on you. If they smile once, thank you, then move on to other topics or get serious again within a minute, there isn’t much of a spark between the two of you.
Check out: 10 Signs someone secretly likes you
5. Ask them to hang out one-on-one.
Hanging out one-on-one has a whole different dynamic than hanging out in a group. Groups protect us and shield us from getting too vulnerable or intimate. They’re also an awesome way to get to know someone a bit before deciding if you even want to spend one-on-one time with them. I know I’ve definitely met a few people in groups that I quickly decided I would never hang out with because we simply weren’t compatible. On the other hand, if I want to spend even more time with someone –alone time, that is – I obviously like something about them, whether it’s platonic or not. Ask this person to hang out with you alone and gauge their reaction. If they’re open to it, they may like you. If they ask to bring another friend along, they’re instead throwing you in the friend zone.
Conclusion:
If you have tried at least three of these strategies successfully with this person, they probably like you! Now what? Let me know in the comments! If you’re still unsure, this person could just be shy. Be yourself and work on your friendship instead to see if it can progress.