Urban Dictionary defines a simp as “someone who does way too much for a person they like.” This word comes from the early 20th century as a shortened form of the word simpleton, also known as a silly or foolish person. Synonyms may include a whipped guy, doormat, or softie with no say in the friendship or relationship. Most simps mean well or, at minimum, aim to get with the girl they’re chasing after. Whether your intentions are good or not, simping will likely hurt your wallet, self-esteem, or pride, so let’s figure out how to know if you’re a simp by looking for these ten signs.
1. You’re always trying to impress her.
You choose your outfit based on whether or not she’d like it. You participate in activities hoping she’ll find it cool or impressive. Your paycheck goes to her, your precious time goes to her, and you dedicate most of your thoughts to her. It doesn’t matter what your friends, mom, or others say – you care about her opinion above all others. You’re simping hard.
Check out: How to impress a girl you like
2. You’re constantly hitting her up.
Take a minute to scroll through the last few weeks of conversation you’ve had with this girl on your texts and through social media DMs. Chances are you initiate 80% or more of these conversations, and her initiations are because she needs something or is bored. Friendships and relationships must be half and half. A friendship is defined as a state of mutual trust and support. If you can’t count on her to be present even virtually, then what are you doing waiting around for her in the first place?
3. You pay for everything.
There’s a pretty thick line between paying for someone because it’s a date and paying for someone so that they owe you one. A simp hopes that a girl will see him romantically and give him a shot. You may be the simp if you keep covering the bill every time you two hang out, even if there’s absolutely nothing romantic about the situations you are in. There’s nothing wrong with treating someone to lunch or coffee now and again, but that doesn’t make you a human cash machine. If this girl doesn’t even seem to reach for her wallet because it’s a given that you’re going to pay, it’s a problem. When you’re a walking ATM, you’re either a sugar daddy or a simp, so, which one are you?
4. You’re her doormat.
Human doormats let others tell them what to do and go along with situations even if they are uncomfortable or hurtful to them. Some people have naturally timid personalities, making it tough to stand up for themselves. Others are people-pleasers who don’t know how to say no. Becoming a doormat is one step further than just being shy, though. Doormats are at a woman’s beck and call, ready to jump the moment she says go. You know that question – if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too? Well, you may not follow your friends but you’ll definitely jump if this woman tells you to.
5. You defend the indefensible.
It’s one thing to be treated poorly by someone, realize it, and make a change. It’s another thing if that person treats you poorly over and over yet you keep defending them. Some may even call this an abusive relationship, but I’ll leave those titles to the experts and those involved. Some simps won’t realize how bad the other person treats them because they’re so focused on making that person happy. Other simps will realize that they’re being treated poorly but stick it through because they badly want that physical or emotional attention.
Check out: Do this and she won’t stop thinking about you
6. She does nothing to deserve your attention.
Sometimes it’s hard to see yourself simping because the girl doesn’t treat you badly. She may even be nice occasionally or a kind person overall; not all simps go after stuck-up and cold ladies. Here’s the thing, though – my mailman is pretty kind. So is the butcher at my grocery store and my accountant. They’re polite, respond to my inquiries, and go about their day. Are they good humans? Sure. Do they do anything at all to deserve my romantic attention? No way, Jose. If this girl is nothing but polite to you, yet you keep tripping over your own two feet trying to go above and beyond for her, you’re simping.
7. Your only goal is getting with her.
Kind dudes are good dudes. They help out their friends – male and female alike, are there when you need them, and love to offer a helping hand. A huge difference between a nice guy and a simp is that a simp’s only goal is getting with the girl they’re nice to. They aren’t just nice because of humanity’s sake; they’re nice because they want to end up dating or hooking up with the person they’re nice to.
8. You’re your last priority.
Every day, we wake up and decide what our priorities are for the day. Sometimes we prioritize ourselves by being productive, planning, or relaxing. Other times we prioritize someone who needs it to be a good friend, sibling, or person. Simps, on the other hand, will only prioritize one or many women and never prioritize themselves. They could be days behind on school, work, or personal projects but that project will never get done if this woman needs them instead. Don’t be a simp and let your personal life struggle because of these decisions.
9. You think many women are better than you.
Simps tend to put women on a pedestal. Maybe it’s because of the sexual attraction, emotional difference, or a real perception they have that women are superior, but the bottom line is that a simp thinks one woman or all women are better than him in some way. By viewing women as queens, he lowers himself to act like a peasant. Let’s clear one thing up; In a relationship, the guy should treat the girl like a queen, but vice versa should also be true and the girl should treat the guy like a king. If she isn’t doing the latter but you’re still treating her like your highness, that’s not very fair, now is it?
10. You pretend to be nice and chivalrous.
The key word here is pretend. In an ideal world, we’re all nice and respectful and chivalrous in the right situations, but many people just aren’t like that. If you aren’t genuinely working towards being a better man in that regard, it’s time to fess up. Are you pretending to be chivalrous to come off like someone you’re not? Are you only doing it to impress this girl, or do you behave this way with any female, be it an 80-year-old grandma or her 10-year-old granddaughter? Simps tend to pretend just to reach their goal.
Check out: How to stop being a nice guy
Conclusion:
Simps get bagged on a lot by their friends and even the girls they hit on. If you think you’ve unexpectedly fallen in the simp category, there’s plenty you can do to retreat. First, prioritize yourself and set your standards. You should be looking for a girl that meets certain requirements while also reciprocating the respect and kindness that you give her. Second, don’t always take other people’s comments to heart. Being overly kind could get you far in a romantic relationship… if you’re with the right person. Be true to yourself and be genuine to others and you’ll quickly get back on the right path.