What do potatoes, rocks, and farts all have in common? None have social skills. Luckily for us humans, anyone who was raised in some sort of neighborhood does have social skills, but some of us seem to be more in tune with them than others. No worries, though, because anyone can work to expand the skills they have! Social skills are essential, and you should be constantly working on improving them to not only relate better with others but also to improve your life. That’s why today we’re checking out how to improve your social skills in 7 simple ways.
1. Expand your network.
If you talk with your best friend every day, your social skills will be at a standstill because you’ve grown used to those types of conversations. Throw in a new friend from a different cultural background, political perspective, or country and you’re sure to have a few moments where you’re surprised or even at a loss for words during a conversation. New things keep our brains on their imaginary toes and help us develop new solutions to problems or breaks in communication. This is why having an expanded network of friends and acquaintances is so important.
I thought I was a socially savvy gal in my tiny hometown until I went to university in New York and was smacked in the face by diversity – in a good way. Not only did I learn more than ever, but I also grew in confidence when it came to speaking to people who were different than me in one way or another.
Check out: What are social skills and how to develop social skills
2. Keep up with trending topics.
Every generation has its own set of trending topics. Those over the age of 35 may be more news and economy-oriented, while the millennials enjoy work memes and pop culture references, and our Gen Z-ers out there could thrive in the latest slang, styles, and celebrity news. By keeping up with major trending topics in more than one generation’s area of interest, you’re loading up on social arsenal to use with whoever you speak to. I may not be the hippest gal around, but I do know that saying hip immediately makes me sound cheugy, and that means that I can relate to both my grandpa and my younger cousin in conversation. My point? You’ll simply be able to participate in more conversations and share more interesting information if you’re well-read on trending topics.
3. Follow your extroverted friend.
Almost everyone has at least one extroverted friend, coworker, or colleague. If you’re feeling in a rut and don’t know what your social skills are missing, spend an afternoon with this person. Pay attention to their conversation starters, how they keep a good convo going, and how they approach other people when you two are together. Monkey see, monkey do, and learn by watching a pro socializer in action.
4. Maintain good eye contact.
Your eyes can say “Hello,” “Get away from me,” and “Come here sexy” depending on how your direct your eye contact. When speaking to someone one-on-one or listening to someone in a group setting, try to stay focused on the speaker as much as you can. We tend to look down or around when we feel uncomfortable or, simply, if we’re not used to so much eye contact, but this is something that is always either consciously or subconsciously picked up on as a negative trait. It’s almost telling the person you’re not interested enough in them to stay focused.
I’ll always remember a date I went on with a guy who seemed to look at everything except for me when we were speaking. I simply felt unheard and maybe even a little bit offended. Oh, and you lose ten points if you look at your phone during the same conversation – that’s directed at you, Brian.
Check out: How to quickly develop social skills as an introvert
5. Use open-ended questions.
More social individuals know to use open-ended questions that can’t be answered in yes or no. This could be asking someone what they liked about a particular place or experience, what they would like to do in the future, or anything that lets you learn more about them in a detailed and personal way. Feel free to share a bit about yourself in between to even out the conversation, but take deep notes about what you’re hearing overall.
6. Learn about listening skills.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it plenty more times – social skills are more about listening than they are about speaking. Of course, you want to make a good impression and spill your two cents, but the other person will remember more about your interest in them than about your opinions and stories, at least most of the time. I made this a practice some years back and made a point to always bring up something the person mentioned in our next conversation together. You wouldn’t believe how impressed some people get and how much more memorable it makes you!
7. Volunteer for things.
A hidden gem for social connection and social skills building is volunteering. Find an organization that services a group you’re interested in helping, like animals, children, the elderly, or those in need. You’ll likely be put in a group to work together and assist this population. Not only will the group already share some of your interests, but you’ll likely meet people from all walks of life that will share their stories and provide new conversations for you to build on.
Check out: Social skills training for adults
Conclusion:
If you’ve gotten through this entire video, congratulations! Not just for surviving the sound of my voice for more than five minutes, but for taking that first step and putting in the effort to truly improve your social skills. I’m confident you’ve got what it takes to be the smooth-talking, detail-remembering, conversation-slaying cowboy or cowgirl of the day.