How to Get a Shy Guy to Make a Move
If you’re on here because you watched my last video on, “10 Signs a Shy Guy is Attracted to You,” and you have a feeling that he’s into you and he’s a cool guy, this is great news for you. The only thing is, you’re now at a new roadblock: The shy guy likes you, but he’s still OH SO shy. This leaves you with two options. One, you can wait an unknown amount of time for him to finally make his move, which could be a couple of weeks, a few months, or even years. You heard me right. If you don’t want to wait for this shy guy to hit on you, you also have option number 2. This second option includes some tips for how you can discreetly help the shy guy make a move. Why wait when you have these helpful hints at your fingertips? So, here’s 10 ways on how to get a shy guy to make a move.
1. Drop some obvious hints to his friends.
The shy guy might be the smartest kid in the class, but sometimes the obvious hints can go right over his head. His friends will tend to be a bit more diverse in their personalities, so you have a better shot at getting your message across to the shy guy if you give it to multiple messengers, AKA his friends. But don’t let your message be vague. Make it clear and direct so his friends will get the hint. For example, you can say, “I think he’s super cute. I’ll definitely go out with him if he ever asks.” And you know sometimes guys will go crazy over this news. It’s going to be a trending gossip within their inner circle. They’re not going to hold the news back, they’ll want to let their friend know about it. And there you go, you just sit back and wait until all your little messenger friends deliver the news. You see how this is a good play. Once it catches on, it’ll spread like wildfire. Haha
Check out: How to get your crush to notice you
2. Joke with him about when you two will finally get together.
There’s nothing quite like a playful joke to get a truthful point across. Of course, this works best when the truth is something positive. During a moment when you and him are really clicking, take the opportunity and make a joke about you two as a couple. You can say things like, “So when are you going to ask me out on a date?” or “Dam, we look like a good couple?!” If you do it in a group setting, your friends could even get involved and bring it up more in the future. Try and make these jokes on more than one occasion, and make sure to throw in that cute little laugh of yours. You’ll get his mind moving faster than you thought.
3. Mention the things you like about him, often.
The shy guy has attracted you from the beginning for different reasons. By the time you two are friends, it should be easy for you to list some qualities you like about him. Chances are that the shy guy has no idea he has these characteristics that attracted you. Sometimes they might not think as highly of themselves as those buff dudes who always working out at the gym. Since they could be a little timid, make sure to shoot him lots of genuine compliments about the special things about him. These aren’t just sweet words in his ear, they are your real thoughts that are also going to build up his confidence. The reason the shy guy hasn’t made a move is because he is lacking the bravery to do so. Confidence and bravery go hand in hand. Boost his morale and you’ll boost your chances that he’ll finally make that move.
4. Be flirty around him.
While you may know that the shy guy likes you, don’t be so sure that he thinks you feel the same way about him. He may very well mistake normal flirty behavior for your casual behavior, so all of your flirting needs to be a bit more dramatic for this guy. If you brush his arms, for example, do so slower than you normally would, so he is sure to notice that it’s on purpose. Stare into his eyes for a second or two longer than normal. While it could make him blush, this shows that he definitely noticed and has registered that you’re flirting and not just looking at a friend. Laugh a little louder at his jokes than you would at a stranger’s. Don’t throw him an evil laugh, though. Remember that you want to just be a tad more dramatic, but not like Broadway dramatic!
Check out: How to tell if a girl is flirting with you
5. Make it clear that you’re single and looking.
If it’s not yelled from the rooftops, we can never be quite sure if someone is truly single or not. Unfortunately, we live in a world where labels are sometimes kept under wraps or unclear. This shy guy might assume that you are already interested in and talking to another guy, or worse, multiple guys. While there’s no problem in exploring your options while you’re single, once you decide that you want a shy guy, your approach has to change. A shy guy won’t dare to make a move on you unless he’s 100% sure he has a shot. If he thinks there’s a chance he’ll be turned down, he isn’t going to take that chance. It’s too much risk of embarrassment or hurt. You need to clearly express that you are single and interested in being more than friends. If you’re feeling extra courageous, you can even follow this up with a joke about the two of you dating. A little bit of this openness is bound to rub off on the shy guy to give him some of his own courage to use with you. Plus, now that he knows you’re all in, the only thing he needs to work on is his own bravery.
6. Ask him for help… like a lot (but don’t be annoying).
Since a shy guy usually shares the space with the quiet people in the back, he isn’t often picked to be the protagonist in a situation. If you could use a little help with something that he is knowledgeable about, go ahead and ask him straight away. This could include asking for help with a how-to lesson, math, website design, taming wild horses, whatever. If he’s good at it, ask him for help with it. Maybe you don’t even need help, but don’t let that stop you from asking. Why, you ask? Because you want to build a connection with him. Plus, it’ll give him an easy way to talk to you and approach you later in the future. And if you want to think about it on a different scale, you might make him feel useful and productive. It’s an ego booster for him. Confidence is key if he ever wants to make moves on you, so help boost it all you can. Of course, I’m not telling you to seem like a ditzy valley-girl who asks him to help you to tie your shoes – you aren’t helpless. Keep it moderate and ask for help a reasonable number of times. But make sure not to make it seem like you are super dependable on him.
Also, check out: How to get your crush to like you
7. Start adding more hugs to your friendship and, when you leave, tell him you’ll see him again.
Hugging promotes feelings of trust and bond, and has even shown to lower stress. If hugs aren’t a part of your normal friend-routine, this little change can be extremely effective in sparking the shy guy’s interest. If you’re already a hugger, hold on to him for a few extra seconds during your next hug. Stare into his eyes at the end of the hug and then add your commentary about seeing each other again soon. He will definitely notice all of these things, both physical and verbal. This will have him leaving your hangout with your hug and comment fresh on his mind. He won’t be able to help but wonder about the underlying meanings around that interaction. It’ll also make it easier for him to initiate plans with you since you gave him sort of an assignment of getting together again soon. It’s a psychological thing.
8. Plan personal and slightly romantic hangouts.
If you’re trying to make moves, an intimate setting is a necessity. You’ve got to set yourself up for success by setting the mood for the shy guy. He’s shy for a reason, so you’ll definitely want to hang out one on one with no other people roaming around. He’s nervous enough with you watching as is. If you can plan a friend-date around his interests, you will get him to loosen up more. Spend the day doing things that you both like doing, and make sure you two have a few laughs. As his comfort grows, so does his chances of finally making that move. Sometimes the idea is that if you do something, other’s will hopefully reciprocate back.
9. Ask him about what he’s looking for in a relationship.
There’s nothing quite like the imagination. Without it, we would never be able to achieve our goals or advance in our lives. When you start to ask him about what he’s looking for in a relationship, you’re letting him use his imagination to describe his ideal future partner. If you’re already connecting so well, it’s likely that he’s going to describe some features that you would have as a partner. And if he really likes you, he will subconsciously start to picture you in this imaginary scenario. If you’re looking for similar things in a relationship, you can echo this back to him to show how you two overlap in what you want. And viola, you just indirectly told him you want something more than a simple friendship.
10. Straight-up tell him.
Sometimes, people just don’t get the hint. Shy guys are no exception, and they’ll have more than one excuse as to why they can’t make a move. Confidence, courage and uncertainty all play a part, but there’s one surefire way to knock those problems right off the table. Tell him you like him and that you’re interested in him. This is also essentially you making the first move verbally, which puts way less pressure on his next move. Being direct works like 90% of the time if they like you and it avoids any confusions. This could be a clear final push to start getting his gears turning and have him realize that, “Oh shoot, someone does like me.” And once that is finally registered in his brain, it’ll start feeling different about you. But hopefully in a good way.
Check out: How to tell your crush you like them
Conclusion:
Overall, getting a shy guy to make a move is like convincing a snail out of its shell. He will need to feel completely comfortable before moving his head any closer to you. Once he knows you’re available and interested, helping him out with the logistics will make it easier for him to get you closer to your goal. As his confidence increases, his physical distance will decrease, and hopefully, your shy guy will finally make his move! Now, on the off-hand that you simply don’t have as much patience as this requires, there is always the option of making a move yourself. I mean, hey, it’s the 21st century… why are you waiting anyway?