There comes a time in almost every girl’s life when she craves a companion. More than a friend and more than a hookup – a true boyfriend. While there may be a lot of fish in the sea, some are cannibals, others are creepy, and a few are missing a few scales, if you know what I mean. That’s why today I’m digging deep to teach you how to get a boyfriend in 7 simple steps… and, a good boyfriend, at that!
1. Don’t rush.
I remember vividly being in high school and wanting a boyfriend so badly. I felt like every other aspect of my life was great except my love life, which was totally nonexistent. Unfortunately, that meant I fell head over heels for whichever guy I started talking to and then cried like a baby when it didn’t work out. Funny thing is, most of those guys ended up being train wrecks. Nick went to rehab, Ed turned out to be a serial cheater, and Tim is still single and way too old to be living at home with his mommy. The moral of the story is that it didn’t work out with these guys for a reason, and looking back I couldn’t be happier that that was the case. Don’t rush into anything with someone that doesn’t treat you right and you’ll be doing your future self the biggest favor in the world.
Check out: How to impress your crush
2. Decide what you want in a boyfriend.
Speaking of choosing not-so-great potential boyfriends, this is a step I skipped and wish I hadn’t. When you start dating – or even beforehand – take the time to decide what you want in a boyfriend. Some qualities you won’t realize until after you date the opposite of them, and that’s ok, but others should resonate with you. Are you an adventurous or outgoing person who wants to spend time outside socializing with your boyfriend, or do you prefer an introvert to stay home and watch movies with? Do you want to date someone who shares your cultural or religious background? Are there any dealbreakers that would stop you from dating someone altogether? The more you know about your preferences, the better you can filter out the guys who will just be wasting your time. *Cough, cough, Nick, Ed, and Tim*
3. Find out where this type of person may be.
Ok, so you’ve narrowed it down. Let’s say you want someone who is extroverted and has a good work ethic. You may want a whole list of other qualities, but try to pinpoint around two to three non-negotiable qualities. Now, think about where you can find someone with those qualities. In this example, you might want to go to a networking event or professional conference. If you want to date an introverted bookworm, you might want to head to your local library. If going out and partying is your scene, you might find your guy at the bar or dance lessons. At the moment – I didn’t plan it – I love sweets, and I happened to meet my current very-amazing boyfriend at an ice cream shop. Coincidence? I think not. Choose your type and find his niche!
4. Introduce yourself and test the waters.
You know what you want and you know where to find it. It’s time to get out there and meet some potential guys! If you see someone you like, take the first step and introduce yourself. You never know what a simple hello and introduction can do. I have a lot of quiet friends – we know not everyone is extroverted – but if you can be gutsy enough to put yourself out there you could meet your next boyfriend… or, at the very least, make a new friend! The more people you meet, the more you have to choose from, and the closer you are to meeting the best boyfriend option for you.
Check out: How to talk to your crush
5. Get to know someone one-on-one.
Once you click with someone, it’s time to set up some time to get to know the real them. Group hangouts are great to test the waters, but you need that one-on-one time to really get to know someone. This means going on official dates. You can grab dinner, go on a fun adventure together, or take a stroll near the beach or lake. This quality time should include both a get-to-know-you chat and deeper conversations to learn more about what you are each like, what you’re looking for, and what you are interested in.
6. Learn about them before getting romantically involved.
Even if you’re going on dates or in romantic settings, you don’t have to make the move into the romance zone just yet. In fact, it’s better if you delay it as long as you can! The better your friendship and the more you learn about someone, the more you’ll realize if they would really mesh as your boyfriend or not. Sometimes we get enamored with someone at the beginning, but once we get past the surface, we see that they’re actually way too different from us to make it work long-term. The more you know, the better you choose.
7. Make a move!
You’ve narrowed down your preferences and met a guy that you like. You’ve gotten to know each other and really seem to click. Now’s the time to make your move – although he might beat you to it. This kind of natural romance flows on its own, and you’ll soon find yourselves exchanging Xs and Os and feeling and the feels together. Go in for that kiss, say yes to another date, and talk about exclusivity before things go too far. Before you know it, you’ll be a cuffed wifey!
Check out: How to tell your crush you like him
Conclusion:
If you’re dying to get a boyfriend, I want you to go take a sip of water and be a bit less thirsty. There are plenty of guys out there, but you cannot rush or you’ll end up with a frog instead of a prince charming. Then, follow these simple steps and I’m sure you’ll be able to meet someone who suits you in no time. If there are any additional steps you would add to this process, comment below!