Love is in the air. Or is that allergies? Just kidding, it’s got to be love. We are on the search for your other half, your one and only, your soulmate. It’s everyone’s dream come true; you finally meet that person that makes life make sense. The one you wouldn’t mind waking up to, even with that funky breath, every day for the rest of forever. It sounds great in theory, but is it possible? Here’s how to find your soulmate in 7 steps.
1. Know what you need.
While everyone’s soulmate may be dreamy and fulfill their desires, they could be complete rubbish for the person next door. Your soulmate is unique to you, so that means you need to have a list of non-negotiables that you’re looking for. Typically, these would be value-focused. Do you want someone who prioritizes empathy, responsibility, or integrity? Maybe you prefer someone brave and innovative, or someone humble and family-oriented. There are tons of great values out there, so pinpoint around five to seven qualities that your guy or gal absolutely must have.
Additional things you can add to this list may be related to religious or spiritual beliefs, lifestyle goals, and different perspectives around child-rearing. For many of us, this soulmate will be our official baby mama or baby daddy, so don’t forget to think about what you’ll need in your partner when there’s a screaming infant around.
Check out: The 8 things that will take your relationship to the next level
2. Consider what you want – but be realistic.
What we want and what we need are two totally different things that we often accidentally mix together. Non-negotiables are what you need, and what you want may be someone tall or someone with light eyes. These are not needs. Physical attributes and attractiveness are important. Trust me, I need to think you are at least cute to take it any further, so I get it. Even so, we need to remember our own flaws and perceptions and be a little lenient here. Don’t ignore someone with a great personality just because they are a six on the ten scale. Giving them a shot is worth a shot in itself.
3. Do some prep work on yourself.
Before you look for your soulmate, ask yourself – would I date me? Or, would I date the male or female version of myself? Most of us like ourselves enough to say yes, but dig deep on this one. Look at your list of needs. Do you express those yourself? If the answer is no, it’s time to start working on them.
I made my needs list a while back and one thing on that list is someone ambitious. I would consider myself an ambitious person, but I have ruts just like the next guy. The last time I found myself being a couch potato and ignoring my responsibilities while single, I asked myself, “How can I expect to find someone ambitious if I’m here laid out on the couch like a pile of laundry?” Those are unrealistic expectations, so I got my butt up and tried to exemplify what I was looking for.
Another thing to consider in this stage is social media. Lots of us depend on it way more than we should, and we need to consider how that’s going to affect the other person in a relationship. Learn more from this other video we created called, “Social Media Is Slowly Killing Relationships – Here’s Why.”
Now, prep yourself to be the best version of yourself for your future boo. Both they and you will thank yourself when you do.
4. Think like your soulmate.
Now that you’re prepped and know what you’re looking for, it’s time to pinpoint some locations where you may meet your soulmate. If you want someone active, join some sort of active meet-up or start heading to the gym at the same time every day you work out. If you want someone with faith, volunteer at your church. If you want someone musical, start heading to local music festivals and free concerts. You won’t find a bookworm at a heavy metal concert, comprende? Well, most of the time anyway. Just think like your soulmate.
5. Date and communicate with intention.
Once you start meeting people who seem to tick off some of your needs list, you’ll need to go on a few dates to get to know them better. Remember – you’re looking for your soulmate. Not a booty call, not a hookup, and not a fling. Soulmate is long-term. Soulmate is legit. When you’re dating, you need to date with intention. This means telling people you are looking for something serious – maybe even saying you’re looking for the one or your soulmate – and having your actions follow through with this statement. If there’s a big disconnect on a non-negotiable, tell that person respectfully, and move on. Don’t lead anyone on and, on the flip side, share when you feel a strong connection to see if they’re open enough to share the same.
Check out: 8 Tips to boost your self-confidence
6. Trust your intuition.
Gut feelings are so intuitive, especially when you truly know yourself and know what you’re looking for. When something feels off, lean into that feeling and try to figure out why. If someone looks great on paper but truly messes with your gut – in a bad way – when you’re around them, take that to heart and give yourself some space from them. On the contrary, when someone gives you genuinely good vibes – so good that you just feel happy and light around them – take that as an invite to get to know them better. Trust your gut.
7. Practice patience.
Finding your soulmate is not a simple math problem that is solved in six months or less. It could take a few weeks or it could take a while. You will want to prioritize finding the one, but it should not be on your top five priorities list. Before that comes your self-care, your family, your friends, and even your career. Your soulmate will find their way into your life when the time is right so long as everything else is in place. Patience is a virtue, my friend. Time to build it up.
Conclusion:
Finding love is great, but finding your soulmate is indescribable. Not everyone will find their person, so I applaud you for looking for the one and not just settling for whichever one is convenient. It may take some time and effort, but I know that they are out there for you. You got this!