Certain milestones in life feel predetermined. You finish high school by 18, college by 21, are well into your career in your 20s and are engaged or married by 30, soon to be a parent and planning to own your own home. Sound familiar? It should because it’s depicted to us on TV, in books and magazines, and by our own parents more of the time. This makes it tough when you don’t seem to reach one of these milestones “in time,” so to speak. That’s why today we’re talking about the 7 ways how to cope with being single in your 30s. It’s time to stop feeling down about imaginary milestones and realize the truth about the situation.
1. Realize there is no rule as to when you should be married by.
The crazy thing about this post is that we’re really talking about coping with an imaginary problem. Hear me out on this before you feel offended. Coping means you’re dealing with something that’s really difficult. We cope with death. We cope with loss or heartache. But coping with being single in your 30s doesn’t have to be coping at all. There is no rule as to when you need to be married if you even need to be married in the first place, whether you should be single or not, and at what age. You may see others paired off and feel odd for not being in the same boat, but the true question you should be asking is whether or not you’re happy. Are you lonely and want a partner? Or are you just craving one because that’s what you’re “supposed to” do? And yes, I’m using air quotes.
Check out: Why it’s great to be single
2. Be grateful for what you have.
Sometimes it’s too easy to get wrapped up like a burrito in what we don’t have and forget about what we do have. You might not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but take account of everything you do have, whether that be a career, home, past travel adventures, a pet, your health, no crazy kids driving you up the wall, or just general life experiences. Another person your age who has been in a relationship for 10 years may not hold a candle to your accomplishments, so it’s time to recognize all the good you’ve got going on!
3. Enjoy what you’ve built!
Now that you’ve seen what you’ve accomplished on your own throughout the years, I must ask, are you enjoying it? Many individuals build up fancy careers, large savings accounts, or huge homes just to get stuck in the mundane day-to-day without enjoying any of it. If this is your case, you can start to cope with being single by enjoying what you have. You not only have physical things to enjoy but the largest, non-physical gift of all – freedom. You are free to make decisions based on you and only you, which few people can do. Enjoy it now before it’s swept away by a boyfriend, girlfriend, or kids.
4. Get yourself out there.
Moping around or throwing yourself a pity party isn’t going to get you very far in the way of coping. If you aren’t feeling great about being single at 30, the feeling probably stems from buried loneliness. Getting yourself out there means participating in some group hobbies, trying out new things, and talking to new people. By doing this, you’ll soon connect with others, grow more personally, and maybe even meet someone. Or, on the contrary, you could realize that you prefer being alone to begin with! Whatever floats your boat, pal.
Check out: Why are people afraid to be in a relationship
5. Build your social circle.
As you start to meet people – both romantically and platonically – it’s time to build your social circle. The goal is to build a small and tight-knit group of friends. This crew will help build the support you need to cope with difficult situations, whether those situations are about loneliness or any other challenge life throws your way.
6. Learn to have fun by yourself.
You can’t love someone else well unless you first love yourself and that all starts by hanging out with yourself and yourself only. Go for a long walk, do a solo sport or activity, or sit down for an hour with nothing but you, your thoughts, and a journal. Most people are uncomfortable sitting with themselves – that’s a huge reason most of us are so addicted to the pointless distractions on our phones. Give me a second as I scroll through my five feeds… ok, I’m back. See what I mean? If you manage to spend the solo time with yourself and have fun, on the other hand, you’ve reached a whole new level of self-enlightenment and growth.
7. Get your priorities in order.
If you truly want to meet someone because of your own desires, it’s time to set the scene so that it can happen. Get your priorities in order to make sure you’re in the right place, both metaphorically and literally, to meet someone. You should want to be the best version of yourself. This begins with personal hygiene and self-confidence. You’ll also need time and energy, which means healthily organizing your schedule and permitting yourself the time you need to date and get to know new people. As you align your priorities to match what you want, you’ll be making strides towards that very thing… or should I say, towards that very special someone!
Check out: How to achieve goals
Conclusion:
Being single in your 30s isn’t easy, especially if you come from a culture where 30 symbolizes a shift to marriage. Strangely enough, coping with being 30 and single only becomes a problem if you see this situation as problematic. Once we take account of what we have, what we’re capable of, and who we are, we can transform the situation from coping to enjoying being 30 and single. It’s all about mindset. So there you have it, 7 ways how to cope with being single in your 30s.