How To Be A Nicer Person With 10 Tips
What is a “nice person”? Being kind and nice is all good on paper, but when it comes down to it, many people find themselves lacking in the friend’s department. Why is that? What is it that makes someone unpleasant to be around, and how can we remedy it? Rather than breaking or tearing someone down, you should be seeking to build them up, support them, and encourage them. Here are ten helpful pointers on how to be a nice person so that others can be more enjoyable around you and appreciate your kindness.
1. Try opening up and ask others about themselves.
Rather than being self-centered and focused on yourself all of the time, try to involve yourself in others’ lives and bring them into yours. Ask people questions about their lives, and how they are doing – these small curiosities show that you actually do care about them, and want to hear about their perspectives and experiences. Give them your full attention, and ask more than just the trivial and shallow questions such as: “How are you? How are you doing?”. Even if you have something to say or chime in with, make sure that they have had ample chance and opportunity to say what they want to – this way, you can avoid taking over and dominating the conversation.
2. Simple courtesies and manners.
This may seem like something very small and insignificant, but you’d be surprised at what a difference it makes in how others perceive you and your actions. Saying “please” and “thank you” often and with a smile will go a long way towards improving your interpersonal relations. Even if it feels robotic and shallow at first, keeping up the habit of remembering your manners will eventually grow into a genuine appreciation of small actions and words. As long as your care and concern are genuine, no matter the scale or size of your gesture, the intent is what matters.
3. Offer your help freely and often.
Whether it be to coworkers who need assistance with a project, or even just holding the door open for someone, or offering to help carry a stranger’s groceries, offering your help to those around you is a good way to be someone who is more pleasant and enjoyable to be around, not to mention someone who is looked up to by others. The fact that you are willing to help, even if or when it inconveniences you, is a sure sign that you are a very considerate and caring person. That’s one way on how to be a nicer person.
4. Use open body language.
This may not seem like a lot or a big deal, but even just your body language can communicate a hostile or open personality. Try smiling more, making eye contact with others, and nodding along appropriately. Standing with your arms crossed may be comfortable, but it can communicate to others that you are closed off and not open to interaction. Direct eye contact will show others that you are invested in the conversation and taking it seriously. Friendly or casual smiles also go a long way to improving your relationship with other people, or simply getting them started on a friendly note.
5. Offer up compliments to others.
Praising others, and not just yourself, is a huge factor in how you can transform yourself into a kinder, nicer person. Even compliments over the smallest things, such as, “I really like your shoes today!” can make the recipient feel appreciated and happy, and may even be the high point of their day. Plus, the more you do it, the easier it will be for you to genuinely see the positive attributes about others, and extend your ability to genuinely appreciate them.
6. Encourage others.
By extension, encouraging others in their own efforts is another habit that you can fall into to change your outlook on life and how you interact with others. Rather than putting someone down for attempting something new or difficult, simply encouraging them, cheering them up, and letting them know that you support them in their endeavors will show to the people in your life that you can be supportive of others without tearing them down or making their ordeals about you. Rather than pointing out flaws or obstacles that your friend may have to face in their journey, simply reminding them that they are capable of doing whatever they put their minds is definitely a kind gesture of friendship, love, and support.
7. Stop the negative gossips.
Talking negatively about others behind their backs, and being passive aggressive. This step may be one of the hardest to follow through on – the urge to spread rumors, or even just to rant about someone to another when you are frustrated can be immensely tempting. However, as innocent as it may seem, in the long run, it is better to resist gossiping behind other peoples’ backs. As the old adage goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
By putting someone down when they are not around to defend themselves, you are signaling to others (as well as to yourself!) that you do not respect them enough to say these criticisms to their face. Additionally, innocent gossip can very easily and quickly turn into malicious rumor-spreading, something that is much better to avoid if you are trying to change your bad habits for the better.
8. Allow others to participate or to have a say.
While it may seem easier to just do everything yourself in order to ensure that it is done right, you need to have faith and trust that others around you also know what they are doing. By taking control of every situation without allowing the other people who are involved to have a voice or a say in how the situation develops, you are shutting them out and telling them that you do not see them as worthy of consideration or having any insight of value to add. Opening up communication and asking others about their opinion is a good way to become more considerate and kinder. Rather than shutting someone out, try listening to what they have to say.
9. Hold off on hurtful jokes and pranks.
While some jokes and pranks may be funny to you, they can actually be very hurtful to the person bearing the brunt of these jokes. Jokes making fun of someone’s insecurities, a topic where they are already embarrassed or ashamed of, do nothing but make them feel worse. Additionally, practical jokes, such as jump scares or throwing a pie in someone’s face, are only fun if all parties involved have a certain understanding or relationship. If not, then these jokes and pranks become less like forms of humor and more like methods of bullying or hazing.
Even as adults, bullying can be an issue, and if the person bearing the brunt of a joke does not seem to find it funny, it is better to stop making jokes along those lines. There are plenty of ways to be funny and to have a laugh without hurting someone else in the process.
10. Expressing affection.
Lastly, expressing affection is another way to convey to others your positive feelings about them. Whether you verbally communicate how much someone means to you, or you physically dole out hugs, high fives, or pats on the back, expressing your affection and letting someone know how you feel about them is a great way to be more enjoyable to be around, plus it shows others that you care. Having feelings or emotions is not a sign of weakness, and expressing these emotions is a simple and easy way to bring warmth to your relationships, whether it’s platonic or romantic.
Overall, I can assure you that if you follow these ideas and eliminate all your bad habits, people will find you more enjoyable to hang around and other will treat you the same. Sometimes you just have to give respect in order to receive respect. So that’s how to be a nicer person.