How Introverts Make Friends
When you’re the life of the party, you don’t think too much about making friends. They seem to appear in huge waves from any place like school, work, or random days out. This is because extroverts are basically human friendship-makers. They are born to be wild… wildly sociable, that is. Introverts, on the other hand, have a whole different game to play. And, yes, it is harder for them to participate in the social game when they’re used to standing on the sidelines. Even though introverts may not be the person breakdancing in the center of the dance circle, that doesn’t mean that they don’t have their own set of moves. There are plenty of ways that introverts knit their social circles and form close friendships. I was one myself and I’m just speaking from experience. So yeah. If you’re wondering how introverts make friends, here are 10 ways how this quiet population connects with people.
1. Using online forums.
Some schools have safe spaces for students. If you’re an introvert, one of the few safe spaces available is under the umbrella of the internet. It’s a place absolutely full of people with absolutely no necessity to ever meet them face to face. The computer screen is like a shield that allows words in, but only so long as you keep it on. Chatting in online forums is something that the introvert can control. The chat won’t last longer than anticipated if you turn your computer off. It’s not that introverts don’t want to talk, they just want to do it in a neutral environment. Being able to speak openly, or in this case, type openly removes the nervousness that comes from being judged by our appearance, mannerisms, or speech. Online forums allow open discussions, critiques, and even support from a whole world of strangers. With enough communication, though, these forum strangers can connect enough to become friends with other introverts. They may never even meet in person, so think of it like a long-distance friendship. A friendship is friendship, no matter the distance.
Check out: How to stop being shy and quiet fast
2. Using social media.
Nowadays, you don’t have to be an introvert to experience making friends on social media. It seems like everybody either has or knows someone who has made a friend through Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or TikTok. Introverts capitalize on this more than others, because meeting friends on social media has a personal touch mixed with the safety net of talking behind a screen. For an introvert, this is a better way to build up a friendship before meeting that person, in real life. I mean, think about it. Friendships on social media are all about giving your friend likes, posting love in the comments, and exchanging hilarious memes. Social media friendships are based on mutual support and humor – that definitely sounds like an ideal friendship to me.
3. Joining a club/activity that they like.
The best of friends always has things in common. Usually, this is a mindset or a way of living, especially including hobbies. If you and your friend can’t find one thing you like to do together, then maybe you aren’t such great friends after all. Introverts are aware that shared interests build friendships. They will consider joining a club or finding a community with like-minded people into their social circle. *Dungeons and Dragons at my dad’s basement. This lessens the pressures of meeting someone random without similar interest and trying to connect with them. The introvert doesn’t have to make painstaking small talk, because the topic of conversation is already present – you talk about the activity. It’s kind of like a get-out-of-jail-free card for those awkward moments at the beginning of a friendship.
4. Taking a class.
For some introverts, sometimes clubs and activities might seem too interactive to join. The safer option is to take a class. By taking a class, the introvert is still joining something with people who share their interests, and it removes a bit of the social pressure by being in an educational setting. In classes, your main job is to listen. This gives less of a reason to speak openly, so introverts can feel more secure being their quieter selves. Just because you’re learning, though, doesn’t mean that you will be sitting in silence the whole semester. There will always be small moments of discussion and after-class chit chat, which opens up the door to meeting new people and making new friends. These are the moments that introverts will work with to build connections with their classmates… If they want.
5. By assignment. (Whether it’s schoolwork or work projects).
One of the most basic ways that introverts make friends is by assignment. This requires very little effort or outgoingness on the introvert’s part because the task or objective is already set up for them. When you’re getting to know someone, sometimes the initial hangouts are uncomfortable, because you’re still trying to get to know them. It’s also difficult to choose the first place to hang out if you don’t know them too well. If you’re assigned in a group or with a partner at school or your job, you have an automatic reason to be spending time together. If you two click, BAM, you have a faster and more natural pathway to building your friendship outside of your work. The project or assignment is the excuse, but by the end of it, the introvert may have made a new friend.
6. Reaching out to friends from earlier years.
Making friends as a child was way easier than as an adult, don’t you think? Adults can be judge-y, misleading, or sketchy. Children, on the other hand, are brutally honest and, most of the time, they really don’t care about anything as long as you get along. Your childhood friends have seen your most embarrassing pre-teen years. There’s nothing you need to hide from them. Sadly, over time it’s natural to lose touch with some of your hometown friends. Introverts may reach out if they really wanted to. An old friend will be open to reconnecting, and the majority of the time you might still have some things in common since you come from a shared place. This gives the introvert a step up on the friendship ladder, since they don’t have to start from square one with this person. I know this is rare, but it happens.
Check out: How to reconnect with someone
7. Planning a low-key hang out with a few close acquaintances.
Sometimes introverts can get bored. An introvert isn’t going to throw the biggest banger of the year. While you won’t see them on TV for throwing a Project X type of party, but this doesn’t mean that they don’t like to have a little fun. Introverts could be the best planners for smaller, more low-key events. Their selection process for these hangouts will be meticulous, so they will select just a few close acquaintances to share the moment with. This selectivity is quite promising for making new friends, since the introvert often thinks through their plans with precision. These hangouts could be anything from going to the movies to a beach day; The event depends on the individual introvert’s interests. No matter the event, the end result is the same; a fun time with a select group of compatible people.
8. Making friends through friends of friends.
Another naturally occurring way an introvert makes friends is through friends of friends. That’s a lot of friends — let me explain. When an introvert hits it off with their friend’s friend, this way of making a new bond is not only natural, but also reinforced. I say reinforced because since the introvert is making friends who are already involved in their social circle, there will be more events and hangouts between all of the people involved. Imagine that Sara and Tim are friends. Sara becomes friends with Tim’s friend, Catherine. Now, Sara, Tim, and Catherine are going to be seeing a lot more of each other. Any group plan one makes, the other two will be invited, hopefully. This expands to more hangouts, more socialization and, you guessed it, more friends! Remember… the more the merrier!
9. By nature with family/roommates.
They say you can’t choose your family. Whether we like it or not, we are born into a group of people connected by DNA, and to share food and toilets with them for the beginning portion of our lives. In another weird push of fate, we are also thrown into living situations with the case of roommates. This usually happens around the time we go to college or graduate, and, like family, it can be a for-better or for-worse situation. Connections with siblings, cousins, or roommates can blossom into lifelong friendships for introverts. How many times have you heard or seen someone getting married and they are introducing their college roommate to their spouse’s family? Crazy roommate bonds can be forever. Or, in the case of family, these people already know most of the wild ins and outs of your childhood, so why not extend that connection to the outside world? This doesn’t mean that the introvert has to be friends with his cuckoo Aunt Hilda, but when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. And when life hands you fun relatives and roommates, you make friends.
10. By accident, with extroverts.
The easiest way introverts make friends is by accident, with extroverts. Remember that the extrovert is often the life of the party. They are basically a socializing bee who hops from person to person like flowers, building friendships. If an introvert is in a room with an extrovert, chances are high that they will start talking because the extrovert likes to talk to everyone! Sometimes this invasion of personal space is exactly what the introvert needed to make a connection. An extrovert opens up an opportunity for the introvert to take a risk and speak up. It’s kind of like the saying; Monkey sees monkey do. The introvert is placed into a situation where speaking up is basically necessary since the extrovert is bound to ask a ton of questions and provoke conversation. This is a great push to form a friendship way faster than at the usual introvert’s pace.
Also check out: How to get my life together
Conclusion:
Overall, being an introvert doesn’t have to mean that you’re a hermit living away from all of society. While the internet does allow for some virtual friendships, there are plenty of ways introverts make their face-to-face friends too. From school settings to hobbies, to tagging along with other friends, there are opportunities to meet people around every corner. The only requirement is a little bit of effort. Introverts will have to come out of their shells enough to communicate with their acquaintances and showing them their genuine personalities. Once someone gets a peak of that, it’s easy to keep the conversation flowing and the friendship growing! If you’re an introvert, take one of these methods and share a little bit about yourself with someone. A little effort goes a long way… maybe even as far as a life-long friendship!