Ah, the L-word. We use it all the time, but not always in the right way. I love my parents and I love my best friend, but my first romantic love was a whole other type of love, catch my drift? So, how do you know when you love someone? Is there always butterflies and fireworks, or is that just lust and not even love to begin with? There’s a lot of psychology behind falling in love, and we’re here to break it down. Here are the seven ways to analyze and know when you love someone.
Before we start – if you have never been in love before, don’t forget to follow up with another video we made called “How to Find Your Soulmate!”
1. Your thoughts.
When you start to fall in love with someone, it initiates a cycle of different hormones and chemicals in your brain. One of these neurotransmitters is called serotonin. Serotonin is involved in mood regulation, and your serotonin levels actually drop when you start falling in love. This means you have less control over your thoughts, leading to obsessive thinking and preoccupation with your partner. Crazily enough, this same drop in serotonin levels is observed in people with OCD. You’re going to be daydreaming, dreaming, and thinking about this person almost 24/7 in the same obsessive way! Not only that, but you’ll idealize them as well, which means you may minimize their flaws and focus only on positive traits.
While I may not be in love, I definitely have way too much love for each of this channel’s viewers. Show the channel some love back by making sure to subscribe for more. You know I appreciate you!
2. Your schedule.
As you fall in love, a special part of your brain called the caudate nucleus steps up its work. This region is involved in learning and memory and helps create a sense of attachment and habit related to your person. Basically, it reinforces the behaviors that give you those feel-good feelings, like hanging out. This is when you’re going to want to spend all of the time possible with your guy or girl, so you’ll find yourself creating your schedule around them and their availability. Be careful here – in my younger years, I made the mistake of always planning my weekends around my boyfriend because I was head over heels. My friends took the backburner, which I later had to apologize for because they were my day-ones and that boyfriend didn’t end up making husband material. It’s all about balance, so don’t let your schedule be too dominated by love.
3. Your priorities.
In addition to dominating your schedule, the person you fall in love with will also come as a top priority. This means you’ll even put aside your own needs for this person and think of them before you think of yourself. Oh, there’s a great deal on this thing at the store? You let them know before even considering it for yourself. Only have an extra $20 shopping? You buy them something instead of the shirt you actually needed for work. They come first, happily.
4. Your plans.
Falling in love means you start envisioning your life with this person. Not only are they affecting what you do today, but you start to mold your future vision around them also. If you have to make any big changes, like getting a new job or choosing where to go to college, you may start thinking about how this decision will impact them more than it impacts you. This includes things like decisions about moving, big purchases, career goals, and even your plan for forming a family one day.
Check out: 8 Little things women do that guys secretly love
5. Your body.
Another chemical in the love family is norepinephrine, which is associated with your body’s fight-or-flight response. This is what will give you that excited, sweaty, nervous, butterfly feeling of falling in love. It’s important to know that these feelings will also start up with a simple crush, so make sure it’s paired with other items in this post to confirm its love and not just lust.
Once you start spending physical time with this person, like hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc., you’ll also start feeling more oxytocin. This is more of the love hormone that promotes bonding and attachment. As this increases, you’ll feel increasingly close to your partner which initiates the feelings of real love.
6. Your friends and family.
Perhaps some of the best insight as your feelings for someone comes from the outside. There’s a special kind of clarity for an observer watching how you talk about and interact with your special person. If you ask your best friend or parent how they think you feel about so-and-so, what would they say? If they talk about how they’ve never seen you so attached or into someone, you may just be on the path to love.
7. Your heart!
Hey, it’s cheesy, but it’s true. Your heart and emotions will let you know when you’re in love. If you have to ask yourself, “Am I in love?” then you’re not in love… it is what it is. When you’re in love, you know. It isn’t forced, it isn’t planned, and man, oh man, is it strong. You’ll know.
Check out: What does it feel like to be in love?
There’s nothing quite like falling in love. Your brain is exploding positive chemicals, you’re literally obsessed with this person, and they bring you happiness you haven’t felt before. It’s a beautiful thing and I wish it for you.