It’s calculated that the average person will meet around 80,000 people in their lifetime. That is over 1,000 people per year. It may sound like a lot, but this includes everything from a conversation with a store clerk to saying hi to the company’s new secretary. So. Many. People. How do you know if someone is meant to be in your life? Are they just an acquaintance or someone passing by? Will they be a best friend, a heartbreak, or a soul mate? How do you know if they’re meant to stick around? Start with these seven signs.
1. Connecting with them is effortless.
The first sign that someone is meant to be in your life is that your initial connection is fast and seamless. We meet a lot of people, but we do not connect with a lot of people. Connection takes things in common and a little bit of chemistry – for both friendships and romance. You need to click.
When you meet someone meant to be in your life, it feels like you’ve already known them for a lifetime. You just get each other. You have fun and you open up easily. I immediately think of my best friend, Ashley, on this one. She has been my day-one since day one of meeting her. Who do you think of? Let me know in the comments!
With these individuals, there is no digging for connection, long awkward moments, or big disagreements, especially at the beginning. Think about those people you meet and you think, “Man, am I glad I met this person.” That’s who is meant to stick around.
Check out: 10 Questions to get to know someone deep
2. Your visions align.
Now, you might meet some cool people and have fun with them in your life, but they’re only around for a season. Like a fun party friend at college who you have crazy nights with, but then as you get older and mature you find that your friend is still making the dumb 20-year-old decisions at age 25, and then at 30. This is when people drift apart.
For someone to truly remain in your life for the long run, be it romantically or even as a close friend, your visions have to align. What do we mean by vision? It’s such a broad word, right? What I’m talking about is what you truly value and want out of life. This is usually tied to your core beliefs. For example, you may truly value striving for success or growth. If that’s your number one priority and affects everything you do in life, you won’t have much in common with someone who is OK with the bare minimum or being stagnant. The same thing happens if one person has a strict moral code and the other person is more do-whatever-I-feel-like.
You don’t have to be twins – that’s not realistic – but you have to have some overlapping core values. If not, the only thing holding your relationship together will be the past, and that just isn’t strong enough to make it to the future.
3. It’s easy to imagine your future together.
Once you connect and share a vision, it’s easy to imagine this person being in your life forever. If it’s romantic, thinking about marrying them or starting a family together should excite you. A big red flag is if you get nervous or have discomfort in your gut when you imagine your future together. Tune into these feelings if you have them – they could save you from making a potentially life-altering mistake.
If you have never met someone who you could easily imagine a future with, check out another video we made called “How to Find Your Soulmate.”
4. You support each other’s individuality.
Just because someone is in your life forever doesn’t mean they are your entire life. We are all individuals and it’s important to keep a part of your life to yourself. What I mean by that is to have at least one hobby or thing that you do without this person. The only important part is that they support your pursuit of this hobby and show interest, even if it’s just asking you about it. You should do the same for them.
Again, you are two separate people. Remember that and support it.
5. You also grow together.
On the flip side, you will have to share fun times with this person if they’re going to be worth having around for the rest of your life. Every relationship takes effort and we only have so much energy to give. We should be picky with who we let in our circle. If someone is meant to be in your life, you’re going to share some wonderful times with them that will stick out from the more mundane hangouts you have with others. Usually, these are things that are adrenaline-filled or moments where you both experience something new and grow. Psychologically, these experiences stand out in our minds, also highlighting the person we share them with.
6. They put as much effort into the relationship as you do – or more.
I have personally found myself fighting to keep someone in my life who was honestly just not meant to be there. This usually happens when you are in love and in it to win it, no matter what the other person is doing or it’s a friend that you just can’t let go of. Red flag alert… I know. Have you ever been there? Let me know in the comments if I’m not the only one!
If someone is meant to be in your life, you will both fight for that future together. It’s not going to be one-sided or just you making the effort to keep them around. It’s got to be 100-100 or even a higher effort on their part. It takes two to tango and make it work – especially long-term.
7. If you try to separate, life brings you back together.
A lot of you may read this and think you’re meant to be with that toxic ex who you keep going back to. That is not what this means. Separating from something toxic, abusive, or hurtful in any way is healthy and distance is key. Now, sometimes, people do change, but they should be the ones coming to you and proving themselves if that is the case. This sign is more so talking about those breakups of healthy relationships that didn’t work out because of something logistical. Maybe it was long-distance or maturity because of age. Maybe it was family-related. But then, some time or even years later, that person reappears, and that same love rekindles faster than you thought possible. These are the signs that that person may be meant to be in your life. Take it slowly, but explore it with an open mind.
Check out: How to know if someone is obsessed with you
People come in and out of our lives unexpectedly, but when a good one sticks around it makes such a positive impact. I wish that for all of you this year and in the future.