It’s estimated that we each meet around 80,000 people in our lives. Can you name 80,000 people? I sure can’t, but that’s just because most of the people we meet pass us by and don’t leave a lasting mark on our lives. So, how do you know if someone is meant to be in your life? Not just to show up and dip out, but to really stick around and be there for the long run? It isn’t easy, but if you can check off the majority of these 7 signs, you might have found a keeper.
1. They fit in your life like a puzzle piece.
You’d be surprised how many relationships have one person adjusting their whole life for the other. Take my friend Jenna for example. She used to be convinced that this guy Jake was the one. She would rearrange her entire schedule for him when they started dating, changed her hobbies, and even ditched some of her long-time friends for him.
Long story short, Jake and her had more fights than a cat and dog and they didn’t last. Jenna’s next boyfriend, Rob, was like an alien compared to Jake. Turns out they already shared some hobbies and interests, maintained separate social lives with their friends, and agreed on most major life decisions. Guess who’s still dating? Yep, Jenna and Rob. To find your own Rob or Jenna, you need to find someone who fits into your life without extreme effort. They’ll seem to blend effortlessly into what you have going on and vice versa – it shouldn’t feel forced or like hard work.
Check out: 7 Signs the universe wants you to be with someone
2. You make room for them.
Even if this person fits into your daily life like a puzzle piece, you’re always going to have to adapt something to add a new important person into your life. Whether they are going to be a good friend for life or your future spouse, you’ll need to make room for them in your schedule. This may mean changing something around or sacrificing me-time to help them out, but the true sign that they’re here to stay is when you don’t mind doing this for them.
Think about your OG, best friends for life. I’m sure you’d drop whatever you were doing for them if they needed you, wouldn’t you? I know I would. The same goes for anyone that is meant to be in your life. It means you are more than happy to turn off your favorite series to instead spend your afternoon talking to them about a difficult situation they’re going through. This shows how important they are to you, which is essential for creating a bond that lasts a lifetime.
3. Your connection is genuine.
You’ll know a person is meant to be in your life when you truly click with them. Your relationship will be genuine – no gimmicks and no pretending to be someone you’re not. You can talk to them about your downfalls, insecurities, and worries without feeling judged and instead will find a shoulder to lean on and someone to help you figure things out.
4. They put in the effort.
Relationships, both platonic and romantic, are not 50/50. They should be 100/100, with each person putting in 100% effort to strengthen the connection and support the other. Sure, we all have times when life gets in the way and we may not be the best partner or friend, but a true sign someone is meant to be in your life is if they continue putting in their 100% effort as the relationship grows, changes, and continues. This includes taking responsibility when they drop the ball, initiating creative hangouts and times to catch up, and showing healthy communication skills when it comes to being a positive presence in your life. Of course, you should be doing the same, or else you end up like Jake in the Jake and Jenna story. Don’t be Jake, be Rob.
Check out: 8 Signs someone likes you even if you don’t think so
5. Your heart and brain agree.
Someone is only meant to be in your life if you truly want them there. That’s why your heart and brain have to agree on your relationship with this person. There won’t be any doubts or discomfort when you think of them being around for, well, forever. In fact, you’ll probably feel excited at the thought of having them in your life throughout your adulthood and into old age. I found this key moment happened after I was dating my current boyfriend for over a year. I easily envisioned our future together and considered him in my large-scale decisions from then on, and I’m both emotionally and logistically happy I did – even five years later!
6. You push each other to grow.
Another great sign that someone is meant to be in your life is when they push you to grow. Now, this one can get tricky because sometimes we have someone in our life who pushes us in negative ways, but we end up learning a life lesson from the situation and growing anyway. This does not mean that person should necessarily remain in your life. In fact, they may be toxic for you.
This happened with an ex of mine who was a fan of gaslighting and making me feel crazy. I learned a ton of lessons from that relationship, became more patient, and also learned how to literally have evidence to prove myself in arguments. Did I grow? In some ways, but he didn’t push me to grow – he forced me. Someone who should remain in your life is someone who instead pushes you to grow through inspiration. They support you and lead by example so that you can become a better version of yourself on your own accord. That’s the key difference.
7. They stick around.
Someone who is meant to be in your life is going to stick around. Their effort and desire to be by your side is something you’ll notice even when you aren’t being the best companion. This person wants to remain in your life just as much as you want them to – or more! – and they stick through both the good times and the bad.
Check out: How to know if someone likes you (10 Signs)
Conclusion:
I have definitely thought that someone was supposed to be in my life for good just to find out it wasn’t so, and that can hurt. Can anyone relate to me in the comments? That’s why I feel it’s so important to look for some of these clear-cut signs that someone is meant to be in your life before investing too much emotion into them. That’s just me, though.