From romantic letters to yelling “Will you date me already?!” there are plenty of ways to ask someone out. Personality and character play a big part in the way someone will ask you out, so let’s dig into how 16 personalities ask their crush out in both actions and words.
1. ISTJs are organized, orderly, and organized. Yes, I know I said organized twice – that’s how important it is to them. Dating has procedures. First, you get to know someone. Then, you formally ask them out. E.g., “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Then you wait at least a couple of days before reaching out and following all of the other dating rules that seem to be in at that time. Patience, patience.
2. ISFJs are protectors who are loyal to the traditional, practical way. If it’s a dude, he’ll ask you to dinner or something formal and obvious. If it’s a chick, she will probably not ask you out at all because she’ll be expecting you to make that traditionally male-dominated move!
3. INFJs are called the counselors of Myers-Briggs because they are nurturing, full of integrity, and empathetic. They appreciate understanding others and love future possibilities, so they’re going to align their actions with their vision for where your relationship may go. You might hear them say something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed you like so-and-so activity, would you want to go to this event with me?” Like if they notice you love country music, they may research upcoming country concerts and ask you to go to one, or something specific to what you enjoy and want to do.
4. INTJs are analytical problem-solvers. Where there’s a will and an idea, there’s a way. They’ll present a well-structured idea or plan for a date and ask if their crush would like to attend. Their approach is direct and clear-cut; there is no need to read between the lines on this one.
5. ISTPs observe first and build later. They’ll notice what you’re into and then ask you out to do something related to your interests, especially if it’s something that puts your crafty skills to the test. This personality type likes action, so they won’t be dragging you to the movies anytime soon. Boring! Instead, think: ax throwing, bowling, paintball, boating, or some other actionable date idea.
6. ISFPs are gentle souls who enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key joy. They go with the flow and aren’t big on planning or structure – including for dates and romance. Their invitation will be loose, comfortable, and flexible so don’t expect a clear beginning and end time or all of the details. Think more like, “Yo, are you down to go out tomorrow? We can meet after lunch and figure something out.” Just go with the easygoing vibe on this one.
7. INFPs are imaginative idealists. They are always looking on the bright side and dreaming about the possible potential of a future relationship, so they’ll see you through rose-colored glasses. To ask out their crush, these healers may use their imagination to create a personalized message through a poem or song. They may also start by talking about their admiration for their crush, like saying, “I’ve always appreciated your passion for XYZ” or “I’ve treasured our time together and hope to build it to more.” Think deep, creative expressions.
8. INTPs are philosophical, so they may ask out their crush in this long-winded, puzzling way. For example, they may first dive into this complicated and interesting conversation with you – let’s say it’s about social theories or something else theoretical. Then, they may say, “I’ve really enjoyed our discussions about ABC. Should we continue the conversation over dinner?” It sounds like they’re focusing on the conversation, which they’ve enjoyed, but they’re actually asking you out. Pay close attention to this style. Other examples would include inviting you to events and situations that are intellectually stimulating, like going to a museum, documentary release, or something of the like.
9. ESTPs are energy all over the place. They need a thrill, they need excitement, and they are their best when things are a little nutty. There will be no Netflix-and-chill dates for this personality type. Instead, you better be up for some high-heart-rate time with nature, sports, a road trip, or some other adventure.
10. ESFPs are performers and will want to charm on their dates, so they’ll need a place to show their true colors. Picture a comedy club, karaoke, dancing, or some sort of concert. To get you there in the first place, their ask will be punny or funny and surely include a joke. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. How about we work some more magic over a coffee date?
11. ENFPs are people-centered, creative, and full of enthusiasm. They’re not going to be shy about asking you out. No, no. They’ll be overjoyed at the opportunity and show it through their tone. They won’t say, “Hey, do you want to go out sometime?” They’ll say, “Hey! It’s been awesome getting to know you! I would love to go out with you sometime. Any interest in doing ABC next Thursday together?” Notice the difference? If you don’t, please go see your doctor for a hearing exam.
12. ENTPs are curious and clever, so they won’t be caught tongue-tied because they think on their feet, even when they’re asking someone out. These invitations may be last-minute, spontaneous, or adventurous. This person could call you an hour before an event and ask you to join them. They could also say something like, “Want to go into the city and just find something to do?” They don’t plan the date – they start it and see what happens!
13. ESTJs are rule-abiding citizens. They like to get things done, so there’s no dilly-dallying or beating around the bush. We get along? Great, you trying to date or what? Ok, maybe they’re not that brash, but they’ll definitely ask their crush out as soon as they realize they have a crush and may have a chance. They’ll emphasize their reliability and have a confident approach. Think along the lines of, “I’ve had a lot of fun hanging out with you with our friends lately. I’d like to get to know you better one-on-one over a nice dinner. Are you free this Saturday?”
14. ESFJs are more attuned to their emotional environment than you are to that true crime podcast, so they are going to be spot-on when they ask out their crush. Their date idea will be something their crush needs. Oh, you’ve been stressed lately? What about a visit to the spa? You have been dying to get outside after that never-ending work project? Time for a walk in the park or a kayaking trip. Have you been craving your long-gone grandma’s pierogies? Look who found the best pierogi place in town. They will be on it!
15. ENFJs are all about human growth with a special knack for convincing others to join their ideas. An ENFJ teacher may tell you, “Man, I’ve learned a lot from our time together! I’ve been meaning to try out this ABC event. Do you want to tag along? I think it’d be fun.” See how the interests align with their plans yet it’s still something that may benefit you? Sneaky yet effective, but all in goodwill.
16. ENTJs are strategic leaders who can lead change in big ways. You can’t be a bold leader by being insecure, so these confident characters are going to ask you out in an assertive way. I was asked out by an ENTJ once and it went a little something like this. They tapped me on the shoulder and straight-up said, “If we have dinner on Friday am I picking you up at 6 or 7?” Not going to lie, that line worked wonders. Got to love the confidence!
Which style of pick-up line is most attractive to you? Let me know in the comments!
Check out: 6 Things only INFPs will understand but will never tell you.