9 Psychological Facts About Love
The concept of love is a beautiful, heart-warming thing. Having someone there for you to support you, cherish you, and to devote yourself to is akin to having a stable wall to lean on, or a fortress to take shelter in. Nearly every country and culture have some concept of love, whether it be romantic, familial, or platonic. Humans evolved to be close-knit social creatures similar to pack animals like lions or wolves – we formed bonds with others around us at first for survival, and now, for companionship. Love itself can be confusing, messy, and difficult to navigate. So, let’s explore these 9 psychological facts about this intense emotion that humans have explored since the dawn of history.
1. Humans are not the only ones who experience love.
This is seen all over the animal kingdom – many animals mate for life, such as seahorses, certain breeds of penguins, bald eagles, and perhaps the most well-known, swans. These animals return to the same mating partner each season, and never take another partner. In some cases, after one of the coupled animals dies, the other will also deteriorate quickly and also pass away soon after.
2. Love is like a drug.
When someone falls in love, their brain’s dopamine channels and systems become activated in the same way as when a person takes the drug cocaine. The more dopamine that interacts with the brain, the “higher” a person feels. This is also the same hormone that is released with exposure to natural sunlight and with physical exercise. Thus, maybe it’s possible to become addicted to the feeling of love, just like with cocaine.
3. Love has a tangible impact on your physical health.
For example, an actual broken heart is possible. The American Heart Association states that in some cases, heartbreak and loss of love (in any shape or form) can result in actual weaker heart muscle and higher rates of vascular and cardiovascular disease and illness. Additionally, having your heart broken or being rejected results in lower levels of dopamine – to combat these dopamine deficiencies, it can be helpful to exercise or expose yourself to more natural sunlight. On the other hand, being in love may actually increase your health. Married couples tend to visit the doctor and hospitals less frequently, and when they did, their stays were much shorter than those of single people. Another study conducted by researchers at the Ohio State University Medical Center found that the injuries of married couples with a close bond healed twice as fast as those couples who had a more aggressive, prickly relationship.
4. Saying, “I love you.”
Sometimes, men are more likely to be more flexible and less picky about their partners when looking for short-term commitments or short-term relationships. However, when it comes to the long-term, men also tend to be pickier than women about their potential partners, as well as more likely to fall in love and say “I love you” more quickly than their female counterparts. This may be less to do with the fact that men commit more quickly, and more to do with the possibility that women may hold back and be more reluctant to open themselves up, for fear of being hurt or rejected.
5. Love develops in phases and stages.
Romantic love usually initially starts out as an intense almost obsession, which gradually mellows out after about a year and changes to a more stable, committed form of love. Rather than being built solely on attraction, this later form of love and romance is based on being willing to compromise and being attached or committed to your significant other. This change may also simply be caused by the fact that the brain cannot sustain a constant state of intense emotional ups and downs caused by romantic love.
6. The cuddle hormone.
Oxytocin, or the “cuddling hormone”, may lead to fewer headaches and in lower intensity. Subjects with chronic headaches and migraines who were given a nasal spray of oxytocin reported fewer headaches, and that their pain had been decreased significantly only within a few hours – in some cases, some subjects reported no pain at all. Levels of oxytocin increase when cuddling and snuggling, or when looking at something “cute”, like a baby or a puppy. Additionally, holding a baby itself increases levels of oxytocin so much that levels of testosterone in men (associated with aggression) become decreased and inhibited.
7. Love and lust express themselves in brain activity in very different ways.
Love activates areas of the brain usually associated with empathy, as well as areas with high numbers of receptors for dopamine and norepinephrine, which are associated with addiction, cravings, and euphoria or giddiness. Lust, on the other hand, activates regions of the brain usually tied to reward, motivation, hunger and thirst, and (obviously) arousal. Thus, the likelihood of a one-night stand or casual hookup turning into a romantic relationship is a little low – the two emotions of love and lust are not as closely linked as you would think.
8. Long-distance relationships actually do work.
Contrary to popular belief, being in a relationship separated by distance actually can strengthen your bond more than if you were in a relationship in close physical proximity, and sometimes long-distance relationships often are just as successful as close distance ones. The levels of trust and bond with your partner are usually higher in a long-distance relationship, possibly because these are two important elements that are crucial to making the long-distance relationship work.
9. Deciding whether you’re into someone is much simpler than you think.
Rather than being based on what we say, attractiveness actually has much more to do with what we do – that is, our body language. Additionally, it can only take up to 4 minutes for us to decide whether we like someone or not based on their body language as well as other factors of their behavior. When you’re into someone, you also tend to exhibit what is called “mirroring”, or matching their body language. For example, if that cute guy at the coffee shop leans his elbow on the table, you might subconsciously also do the same thing, even without realizing it.