Self-confidence is the fuel that helps you reach your highest potential. You could have a lot of great goals, but without it, you’re just a person with a lot of ideas. Add self-confidence to the equation and you become someone who gets stuff done. Are you ready to level up? Here are 8 tips to boost your self-confidence today.
1. Challenge your thoughts.
Our thoughts are powerful. They can destroy just as easily as they can empower. Negative self-talk is when your inner voice is excessively critical and pessimistic, focusing on what you can’t do or what you do wrong. This is the enemy of self-confidence.
Challenging your thoughts isn’t easy, but it can be done. The first thing you need to do is to identify the thought as negative. Stop it in its tracks and focus on one thought at a time. For example, I once found myself working on this big project for my degree and I just couldn’t figure it out. I felt stuck and hopeless. My first thought was, “I’m never going to finish this and I’m going to fail my class because of it.” There’s the identified negative thought.
After you have your thought, it’s time to start reasoning with evidence. You need to find examples that show this thought is not 100% true. In my case, I thought of a time the year before when I had a pretty difficult final paper I worked on for months. It took a ton of revisions at the writing center to finally get it right, but I did it. The paper passed and I passed the class even when I thought I wouldn’t. This was proof that I could get through a tough class and finish an assignment that felt bigger than me. After that, I thought of a few other smaller examples of when I overcame a challenge.
Once you have your evidence, you can revisit your thought and “rewrite” it, so to speak. Replace it with a rationale-based replacement. Instead of thinking “I’m never going to finish this and I’m going to fail my class because of it,” I thought, “I’ve finished difficult assignments before and gotten passing grades, so I can do it again with this one.”
You won’t magically start believing your new positive thoughts that same day, but repetition is key. Fake it till you make it and eventually your actions will follow suit!
2. Write a list of your best attributes and successes.
A great follow-up or combination activity to pair with number one is to write out a list of your best attributes and successes. This list can be general, not just related to one situation. Start with the things you like about yourself. If you have a tough time writing this out, think about what others like about you. If you still get stuck, ask those closest to you what positive characteristic they notice or like the most about you. This is a great mini self-esteem booster and it may help you to see yourself in a more positive light.
Check out: The Morning Routine of Successful Individuals
3. Curb the comparisons.
Listen, we are all guilty of comparing ourselves to others. We do it walking down the street, at school or work, and especially online. With the fakeness of social media, it’s hard to feel good about having a normal life nowadays. We need to stop with the comparisons. It may be impossible to stop yourself fully, but there are practical ways you can curb the unhealthy comparisons.
Let’s start with the biggest culprit, which is social media and media in general. Get off of those influencer profiles. Stop following people who make you feel like you are less than – even if it’s within your head. If you have to, delete the app off your phone for a few weeks and do a social media cleanse.
When it comes to the real world, though, you can’t just coop yourself up away from others. In these instances, you’ll have to try to stop those thoughts and instead go back to the list of personal positive attributes and successes you’ve written down in the past. If you compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to you a few years ago. I’m sure you can see how much you’ve grown since then through the ups and downs.
4. Build a support network and hype each other up!
It takes a village not only to raise a child but to raise an adult. We all need someone else. Build up a positive support network of friends or relatives. You don’t need 50 friends, just a few loyal ones who you know have your back. Tell them about your quest to improve your self-confidence. Hype up your friends and – if they’re good friends – they will surely do the same to you.
By the way, if you don’t tend to have deep relationships – romantic and not – you may have a fear of connecting with others. Check out the video “7 Signs You Have a Fear of Intimacy” to learn more.
5. Set a doable challenge.
If you’re feeling unconfident about what you can accomplish, prove yourself wrong by setting a doable challenge and completing it. Remember, the keyword is doable. Set something that you know you can accomplish. For example, if you can walk a half mile without getting winded, set a challenge to slow-jog a half-mile. This is realistic and could likely happen in just a couple of weeks. Stick to your challenge every day and you’ll get an instant confidence boost once you accomplish it. That’s not the end though; set another challenge after the first one is done to keep the momentum going!
6. Dress for success.
A lot of self-confidence comes from how we are perceived on the outside, by both ourselves and those around us. You don’t need a full makeover or to change who you are physically, but you should like the way you look if you want to cultivate the strongest sense of self-confidence. Everyone has days when they feel prettier or more handsome than others. Have one of those days by choosing an outfit you think is flattering and presenting yourself well in public. Shower, do your hair, spray that nice perfume or cologne, and have an afternoon out and about to spark your confidence.
7. Learn how to set boundaries.
Another part of self-confidence that we often forget about is assertiveness. Confident people know what they want, what they’re capable of, and what they will and will not tolerate. Setting boundaries is one way of stopping others from taking advantage of you and, as a consequence, negatively affecting your self-esteem.
To establish boundaries, you’ll first need to identify what you need to feel emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy. Recognize your limits and triggers. When you feel someone pushes you towards one of those, clearly communicate your boundaries by using I-statements. Be consistent, patient, and firm. Learning to say no is tough, but once you figure out how to do it, it saves you heartache, fatigue, and emotional drainage. One boundary that may also help with self-confidence is slowly distancing yourself from those negative energy-draining people in your life… you know who I’m talking about.
8. Try something outside of your comfort zone.
Low self-esteem will have you avoiding new experiences out of fear, but self-confidence is produced by stepping into new experiences, even with fear or doubt. Just by trying something new, you are showing yourself that you have guts. If you have a terrible fear of heights, this doesn’t mean you need to jump out of an airplane. Start small. Take a hike to the top of that tall hill with a friend. Or, skip the heights altogether and just do a new group activity that you’ve never done before. What activity comes to mind for you? Let me know in the comments! Whatever it may be, give it a try. It’s time to step outside of your comfort zone and into your zone of growth!
Self-confidence is like an oak tree. It begins so tiny, looking like a nobody weed. Give it enough energy and time, though, and it can soon tower over every other plant around it. You got this! There you have it 8 tips to boost your self-confidence. As always, thanks for reading.