Have you ever heard the expression “Hindsight is 20/20?” I mean, how many times have we looked back at decisions or situations from our past and just shook our darn heads, and that includes reflecting on some relationships that we have had? If you’re in a spot today where you’re looking back and trying to figure out if that ex gave a hoot about you at all, you’re in the right place. Here are eight signs your ex never cared about you when you were together.
1. They repeated hurtful behavior regardless of your requests.
Whether your ex was a liar, disrespectful, unreliable, crossed boundaries, or any other negative characteristic, you likely brought it up during your relationship – especially if it was repeated behavior. Maybe you got mad at them, cried about it, or brought it up in a calm, mature manner. No matter what you did, it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. A few days, weeks, or a month later your ex would be doing the exact same thing and making you feel the exact same way. You bring it up again, maybe they say that they will change or they seem to listen to you, but the cycle continues. The worse the negative action that your ex repeats, the more likely it is that they didn’t care much about your feelings, even when you two were together. They obviously prioritized their desires or being emotionally immature over growing up and changing to strengthen what you two had.
Check out: 10 Signs he will never come back
2. Their love for you was inconsistent.
A healthy relationship should be an example of strong, consistent love. You may not always agree on everything or get along 100%. Heck, you may not even like each other 100% of the time, but you should love each other 150% of the time. Unfortunately, if your ex didn’t care for you, their love will reflect that. You may have caught your ex acting so cute one day and nonchalant or uncaring the next. One day you need support and they’re hugging you and telling you it will be OK, and the next they’re shrugging it off and telling you to grow up. What kind of game is this? This unreliable kind of love surely kept you on your toes and might have even provoked some anxiety within that relationship. If you find yourself consistently doubting peoples’ motives and true feelings ever since this ex, this sign sounds pretty relevant to you.
Luckily, you won’t have to worry about this behavior with this channel. It’s all love here! If you can support that, be sure to shoot us a thumbs up and subscribe for more. You know I appreciate it.
3. They cheated multiple times or always danced the line.
Infidelities are very murky waters that are difficult to clean up. Have some couples experienced cheating and gotten over them? Yeah, a few. The majority, though, have felt the effects long thereafter and suffered or separated because of it. Cheating is a really strong line to cross. It may not mean that you don’t care about your partner at all, but it sure does mean that you care more about your in-the-moment desires than the emotional well-being and safety of the person you’re supposed to love the most. I’m going to also mention a second group of people that may hit home with some of you. We’ve got a pretty large group of exes out there who may not have gotten caught cheating, per se, but have danced the line and gotten in trouble. Maybe they still talked with their ex or were just a bit too friendly with that coworker. No matter the case, it caused some discomfort and arguments within the relationship but that ex continued their third-party relationship, be it intimate or not. This is basically the same as pulling the trigger on cheating because they are choosing this third person over their partner, and that is simply not caring for their supposed number one.
4. They constantly used emotional manipulation to get their way.
There are a few types of people who use emotional manipulation to get what they want at others’ expense. Some of them are narcissistic, most of them put their partners low on their list of priorities, and all of them are selfish. When you’re one, two, or three of these things, it’s pretty easy to lose sight of your partner because you simply don’t care about them even half as much as you care about yourself. Examples of emotional manipulation you could look back on include gaslighting, giving a silent treatment, shifting blame, guilt-tripping, and even threats or intimidation. What’s the worst kind of emotional manipulation in your book? Let us know in the comments!
5. They were always dismissive of you.
If you had a concern, they would shrug it off or tell you that you were being dramatic. If you had a great idea, they thought it was fine but they always wanted to tweak it to be better or, worse, they shut it down altogether. Maybe you used to voice your opinions, but your ex would make you feel small, unknowledgeable, or even worthless. If this sounds all too familiar, you should also check out another video we made called “10 Things Toxic People Say.”
Dismissive behavior can take on many forms, but when it’s consistent, it points to not only a lack of care but a lack of respect. This ex needs to get off their high horse and learn how to value their partner equally. One of my friends used to date a guy like this and I’ll always remember when she brought up an idea she had for a change at work and he told her that she had no idea what she was talking about – about her own job! I could see the embarrassment on her face, and I quickly stepped up to the plate to defend her. Thank goodness I can say that they are no longer together. Good riddance, Carl.
6. They had a limited investment in your life.
Another strong sign that your ex never cared about you is if they never or rarely showed genuine interest or support in your goals, dreams, or personal growth. These kinds of exes won’t make an effort to understand your passions or actively participate in your life outside of the relationship. It will feel like they were just going through the motions without truly caring about your happiness or fulfillment… sadly, because that may be the case.
7. They repeatedly disrespected you.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T means everything to you and me, and every other relationship on the planet. When an ex consistently crosses boundaries, ignores your feelings, or belittles you, they are throwing all respect in the dumpster. They may have insulted you, made demeaning remarks, or engaged in controlling behaviors. This reminds me of my friend’s ex Carl, whom I mentioned earlier, because he used to give a ton of demeaning backhanded compliments to her. One day I word-for-word heard him say “You did a good job for someone with no athletic ability.” My friend played D1 tennis. Kick rocks, Carl. Disrespectful actions demonstrate a lack of regard for your well-being and indicate that they never truly cared about treating you with kindness and respect.
8. When you wanted to improve things, they looked the other way.
Every relationship has its issues, and if you have ever dated someone, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that twice. If your ex showed little interest or effort in resolving problems whenever you wanted to address issues or work on the relationship, this reflects a lack of care for the relationship and, consequently, you. They may have avoided conversations about the future, brushed off your concerns, or refused to engage in any constructive dialogue. Such an unwillingness to work on the relationship reflects a lack of investment and a lack of care for your happiness and growth as a couple.
Check out: 8 Signs your ex will never come back
Conclusion:
Remember, recognizing these signs can help you gain clarity about your past relationship, but it’s essential to focus on healing and moving forward. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones to help find healthier and more fulfilling connections in the future. You know I always got your back.