You know the expression “fall in love?” Well, it may sound crazy, but you can also fall into a relationship… without even knowing it! You heard me right, sometimes things happen so naturally that you wake up one day and think, “Wait a minute… is this person, my person?!” Here are 8 signs you are in a relationship and don’t know it.
Before we get started, there’s one thing you need to note. All of these signs must be reciprocated. It can’t just be you doing them, because that would just make you a bit of an obsessed stalker. And if it’s just the other person doing them, then you need to follow up with another video we made called “What to Do When Someone Is Obsessed with You.”
It takes two to tango, so make sure each sign is fulfilled by both you and your guy or girl. Let’s go.
1. You know you’re not seeing other people.
Some couples have discussions to clarify whether they’re exclusive or not. Usually, this happens when one person catches a lot of feelings and wants to claim their territory.
Other times, though, there’s an unspoken understanding that you aren’t seeing anyone else. This actually happened to me when I first met my now long-term boyfriend. We had been talking and hanging out for a few weeks and hadn’t had the “What are we?” conversation. Even so, we both knew in our brains and our guts that we weren’t seeing anyone else.
To start, we didn’t meet on a dating app so neither one of us feared that. Second, we were very open about our phones and whoever messaged or called us. And, third, we spent so much time together that it would have been impressive if one of us could have maintained another fling on the side – there was just no time. That, plus our healthy obsession with one another was enough for us to be exclusive without ever saying it.
2. You see each other multiple times a week.
Just like in my example a moment ago, you can easily fall into a relationship when you’re spending excessive amounts of time with someone weekly. I very quickly started hanging with my now-boyfriend every weekend and also getting together for dinner mid-week on Wednesdays. That’s more than half the week and essentially almost all of my free time. If you’re seeing this person at least twice a week every week like clockwork and you both expect it to continue, you’re already scheduling each other like a relationship would.
3. When you aren’t together, you let each other know your whereabouts.
On the days you guys aren’t hanging out, you’re still telling each other what you’re up to. Whether you’re having a boring day at work or are going on a friend’s birthday trip to Vegas, your guy or girl knows all the details. You guys are speaking every day via messages or calls and enjoy keeping up with each other’s boring schedules – that’s relationship investment right there.
4. Other people refer to you as a couple.
People you don’t know well ask you about your boyfriend or girlfriend and then point to this person. Your family assumes you’re dating. When you tell them you aren’t, they ask you why and you don’t have a good reason or response. Their family also assumes you’re one of the pack and know you aren’t just a BFF. If everyone else sees the love connection, maybe it’s time to take your blinders off!
While we may not be a couple, I do refer to you guys as my day-ones. Could you reciprocate by subscribing to show your support? You know I appreciate you!
5. You consider each other in all plans and decisions.
When you plan a trip, make a big work decision, or consider taking up a weekly class, you run it by them first. Not because you need permission or because they control you – no, no – but because you wholeheartedly want to be considerate and include them in all of your planning. Plus, you think highly of them so of course you’re going to value their opinion! Think about it; you put each other on pedestals… isn’t that the ideal way a couple should treat each other?
Check out: What does it feel like to be in love
6. You would flip if you saw them flirt with someone else – and vice versa.
Some buff big-ego dude hugs your girl? Some hussy fake laughs at your man’s joke? We don’t think so! Jealousy implies territorial feelings. This is your person. Yours. Romantically, of course… you guys obviously feel strongly about being each other’s and only each other’s. Sounds datey, doesn’t it?
7. You talk about the future together.
One of the biggest parts of having a healthy romantic relationship is envisioning your future together. One sign you’re in a relationship without knowing it is if you easily and often talk about your future together. From moving in together one day to getting married or even traveling the world. It seems easy and obvious… but I’ll tell you right now friends don’t always talk that way.
8. You prioritize each other’s needs.
Last but not least, you’ll find you’re in a relationship if you’re constantly prioritizing each other’s needs over your own. You put this person before yourself, and that’s big. Not only when it’s convenient, but all the time – even at your own expense. This kind of self-sacrificing love is at the heart of true love, and that just may be what you’re getting into.
Check out: The 6 phrases that will strengthen any relationship
If you can easily check off at least four of these eight signs, then surprise, surprise, my friend – you are in a relationship! Maybe it’s time to have that “What are we?” conversation or just to tell this person that you want to make it verbally official.