We can’t control if other people like us or not… or can we? Truth be told, there are at least 8 psychological tricks to get someone to like you. These subtle little actions will sneak their way into the observer’s brain and slowly but surely make you more likable in their eyes.
By the way, we made another video that may help you with this topic called “Why Being Social Is More Important Than Being Smart.” Check it out.
Ok, now let’s get to it!
1. Use their name in your first interaction.
Our name is the foundation of our identities. Whether you go by your first name, nickname, middle name, or other, whatever the other person uses shows how well they know you. Think about when you hear your name in the background. You immediately perk up and pay attention, even if it’s coming from a complete stranger. When someone doesn’t remember your name, on the other hand, you feel this kind of distaste, as if you weren’t important enough to them in the first place. I will never forget this scrub named TJ from college who met me about a dozen times and never remembered my name. Let’s just say if I was a recruiter and TJ’s resume came across my desk, I would dump it in the garbage and light it on fire.
Anyway, names are important. The same goes for when someone uses your name in conversation. If you’re just meeting someone for the first time, find a time to say their name towards the end of the conversation. Don’t start saying it from the get-go or you may come off as creepy. Instead, maybe pop it into your goodbye or your nice-meeting-you comment.
2. Questions over statements.
A first interaction is full of questions. If this other person is asking you about your life, keep your answers short and always follow up with, “What about you?” Remember that you want to learn more about them than they ask about you. Questions over statements will show your interest in what they have to say.
Check out: How to talk to your crush instantly
3. Don’t forget about active listening!
If this person is sharing about their life, you also have to respond with a bit more than another question. This is where active listening plays a huge role. Nodding your head, saying things like “mhm” or “oh,” and maintaining eye contact are a few ways to show you’re engaged in what the person is saying. You could also paraphrase what they just said to validate their story and showcase your focus on them.
4. Compliment when appropriate.
Throwing in a compliment to start a conversation or mid-conversation is a great way to connect with others. I mean, who wouldn’t love someone who makes them feel good? Just be sure your compliment makes sense and doesn’t cross any boundaries. If they’re talking about an adventurous vacation they took, for example, you could say, “Wow, I love that! How adventurous!” Try to stick to their internal characteristics unless you’re just trying to break the ice, in which case you can compliment them on something physical, but tread lightly because you don’t want to come off as if you’re hitting on them from the start.
5. Mirror them.
Mirroring is a psychological phenomenon that occurs naturally when we vibe with someone. Without thinking, a person may physically copy the other person’s movements, like crossing or opening their arms like the other person has or leaning in if the other person is leaning in. Usually, this comes naturally, but you can try to mirror the other person consciously to try and trigger that subconscious connection with them.
6. Find common ground.
People like people who like the same things as them. If I’m an ultra-conservative traditionalist it may be tough for me to like an ultra-liberal modernist. Keeping politics out of it – which is a good idea for any initial interaction ever – you can find common ground with almost anyone, but you can’t force it. Don’t lie to get someone to like you – it will bite you in the butt eventually. Instead, honestly find something you can relate to with this other person. Whether it’s a hobby, a TV series, or the weather, find something you both like and harp on that topic for a little while to grow your connection.
7. Offer to help if you can.
People who go out of their way for you make you feel special. If this person is sharing about something they are trying to do, think about any resources you may know of that may help. This could mean offering to connect them to someone that you know or sharing a website or podcast that you have heard of that may be related to their goals. I’ll give you an example of something I did a few weeks ago.
Recently, I met a girl in a class I was taking who was looking to change careers from education to something new, but she felt stuck. Then, on the news, I learned about a local organization that helped teachers transition into new careers. I immediately thought of this girl and instead of letting it pass me by I noted the organization’s name and shared it with her the next time we had class together. She was thrilled and I could tell I immediately gained points in her book. I did this just to help someone out how I would like to be helped out at times, but it sure did make a positive impression.
Check out: How to start a conversation with your crush
8. Remember the details during a second interaction.
If you’re going to see this person again, which is probably the case, be sure you bring up something from your first interaction. Some of the easiest things to remember are what the other person does for work. For example, if they talk about being an accountant in the busy season and you see them a month later, you could ask, “Hey have things cooled off in the office since the busy season has ended for you guys?” People really notice when you remember the details and it’s an instant impress-them moment that makes you stand out.
Conclusion:
No matter which psychological tricks you use to become more well-liked, always do it with the intent of forming a genuine bond with others. No one wants to be manipulated or feel bamboozled by someone, so be sure to keep it real and be yourself at the end of the day.