Studies have shown that one in five married people in America have cheated at some point in their marriage. That’s a tough pill to swallow. Even though we may want to control what other people do, the truth is we can’t, so the best thing you can do is be present in your relationship and stay vigilant for any signs that it may be going sideways. Here are 8 proven signs a wife is cheating you can look out for.
1. She suddenly puts more effort into her appearance – when she’s not with you.
Your wife may always be beautiful to you – as she should be – but there are times when girls get extra done up. If you notice that your wife is suddenly putting more effort into her appearance, she may just be trying to look her best. The red flag comes out when she only looks her best to leave the house… without you. Whether it’s to her workout class, girls’ nights, or to volunteer at the local shelter, she seems a bit too done up for comfort. You’ve got to start asking yourself who she is trying to impress.
Check out: Why do people cheat in relationships
2. She takes up a new hobby, but you find out she’s not actually doing it.
Suddenly, your lady is loving yoga, pottery, or her new book club. Hobbies are healthy; everyone should have hobbies. But then you find out, somehow, some way, that she didn’t go to that class on Tuesday night like she said. Maybe you bump into her friend who takes the class and she goes, “Where was your wife this week?” Ouch. Where was your wife this week? Is she loving yoga class or a new yoga instructor?
Have you caught your wife in any lies lately? Feel free to share them in the comments if you can!
3. She gets late-night calls or texts from someone who isn’t family.
Nowadays, phones and the internet are a gateway drug to cheating. That’s why we made another interesting post you should check out called, “Why Social Media Is Slowly Killing Relationships.”
Anyway, phones don’t make everyone cheat, but man do they make it easy. It’s also one of the easiest ways to catch a sleazeball in the act. Be on the lookout for any late-night texts or calls your wife takes in private or ignores while in front of you. If you can catch the name of who is on the other line, you’ll get some good data… Although, don’t forget that contact names can be changed to be more discreet. One late-night family or friend emergency is normal – especially if that other person is going through a tough time – but consistent calls or texts, especially after 10 pm, are a red flag.
4. She becomes secretive with her phone or computer.
To add to the last point, how your wife behaves with her phone or computer is another big pointer. If she gets these late-night calls or texts and says, “Hey could you get that?” or texts back in front of you nonchalantly, then she is showing honesty and openness. The big ole red flag comes flying in when she starts being secretive. This means putting her phone face down or not bringing her phone into the room with you anymore. Maybe she even changes the password on her phone or computer without telling you and, if you ask her why, she gets all defensive and somehow it becomes about you being controlling. Cheaters are great at flipping the script.
5. Your physical intimacy declines or disappears altogether.
Physical intimacy in a marriage is something that needs to be actively worked on throughout the years. If you’ve been with anyone for more than five years and especially once you have little ones, you can back me on this one. If your physical intimacy with your wife has been slowly declining, it’s your turn to step it up. See what she needs, make her feel loved and beautiful, and help her out with day-to-day tasks so that she is relaxed and mentally free enough to even think about intimacy at the end of her day. If this doesn’t revive your love life, then you can look out for more red flags.
On the contrary, though, maybe you had a solid love life with your wife and then it suddenly started to get cold. You haven’t been arguing and she doesn’t say anything is bothering her when you ask, so it just seems out of the blue. This is when you can start poking around for other signs that she may be getting her intimacy from somewhere else… or should I say, someone else.
6. She starts working late or going out with the girls more than she sees you.
If your wife is an accountant and has to work late the month before taxes are due, she isn’t cheating on you, she’s working! If she’s an office cleaner at the same building she’s been at for years and suddenly starts working two hours late every day, something is a bit suspicious. It’s all about the details.
The same is true if she suddenly starts hanging out with friends way more than ever before. I’m not talking about reconnecting with her old BFF Sandra and having a girls’ night every couple of weeks; I’m talking about suddenly going out once, twice, even three times a week as if she’s back in college. Sus-pi-cious!
7. She avoids making future plans with you – or even current ones.
A proven sign that your wife may be cheating and considering ending your relationship is when she throws in the towel for future plans together. When you bring up your next vacation together, she kind of shrugs it off or puts the plans on the back burner. The same goes for when you mention RSVPing for that wedding, committing to signing a new lease, getting a puppy, or anything in the future. She may even be indifferent about your daily plans, like by canceling your monthly movie night date without a real reason. You are no longer one of her priorities, but someone else might be.
Check out: How to tell if she has cheated
8. She’s suddenly detached or distant.
She was cuddly, but now she’s like a black, mean cat. She used to want to hang out all the time but now she could care less. The key is that this happened fairly suddenly, not over time. Over time could mean there’s distance or disagreements between the two of you, not necessarily another person. But when she goes from day to night fairly quickly, it’s often a sign that she made a decision with someone else that pulled her away from you.
For once, I hope you don’t resonate with many of these signs. If you do, though, this site is here for you and we want to support you however we can.