Figuring out what a girl wants can be complicated but figuring out what she secretly desires is a whole other mission impossible. That’s why today I’m here to lay out 7 desires that girls won’t tell you. I’ve made it easier for you to figure out what girls want, why, and how to give it to them. Let’s dive in.
1. They want to be pushed in the metaphorical sense.
Girls don’t want controlling dudes. We have our objectives and goals in life, but we do want someone who is going to support us and push us towards those objectives and goals – especially in the moments we feel unmotivated. I can do anything I put my mind to on my own, but when I have a supportive partner who holds me accountable, I find that I’m 10 times more productive and excited about my goals. We all have our ups and downs when it comes to motivation and procrastination, so holding your partner accountable is a huge turn-on as well as a plus in any relationship. What better way to foster a romance than by becoming the best version of yourselves together?
Check out: How can you tell if a girl likes you
2. She wants to be treated like a “lady.”
Being treated like a lady has taken some heat lately, so let’s get it straight. Women and men are equal and should be treated as such. Women want and deserve equality. The term “lady” has long been associated with someone who is more delicate and feminine, but this does not equate to being weak. Being treated as a lady is being treated with respect, with certain formalities, and, in turn, by being a gentleman towards her. Just because you lend me your jacket doesn’t mean I’m weaker or less equal than you. It just means you are kind, you care about me, and you want to make sure I’m feeling ok. And that’s why women want.
3. They want you to take charge.
Ok, macho-macho-man. A guy who takes charge is a guy who can look out for his girl. If there’s a problem, he’s there to offer a solution or to help her come up with one. On the other hand, you can also take charge of some day-to-day things. Most women are natural planners. While times have changed, women are still expected to coordinate family schedules, organize agendas, and the like. This gets tiring and it gets old. Take a few things off of her plate. Plan the next vacation. Surprise her by helping out with her to-do list. Get your butt off the couch and do some things without being asked.
4. They want honesty with a little bit of sugar-coating.
I definitely relate heavy to this one. Without honesty, we have no chance of a productive, healthy, or loving relationship, but there’s such a difference between being honest and being blunt. Being blunt is being an honest jerk and excusing yourself for it. Being honest with a little bit of sugar-coating means that you’re sharing how you feel but you’re not being mean about it and you’re careful not to hurt the other person. A guy telling me I’m a selfish b-word in a situation may be blunt, but it isn’t helpful honesty. A guy telling me my action may have been selfish and that it hurt him because of XYZ, on the other hand, could be describing the same situation but it instantly makes me more receptive.
Check out: 8 Signs a female friend likes you more than a friend
5. She wants you to listen, not to hear.
There are few things more frustrating to me during a conversation than when the other person seems uninterested. I know my boyfriend is capable of looking at his phone while listening, but I politely request his full attention during conversations because it just shows active listening instead of bystander hearing. Hearing is when you know what she said and can repeat it back, but listening is when you know what she said and why and can talk more about the context. Put the distractions away, listen, and make a mental note of the things that are important to her.
6. She wants you to stand up for her.
Women want men who defend them. This means protecting her in moments when she may not be able to protect herself or when she just needs a hand. Women want a sense of protection from their men because this is something that has prevailed throughout the ages. Yes, we can now take of ourselves, but there’s a comfort that comes with knowing that your partner is there for you if need be. I don’t want to date anyone aggressive and I don’t consider myself to be aggressive, but if a random dude came up to me and threatened me, I would expect my partner to come to my defense the same as I would defend myself – and vice versa!
7. They want you to be open to growth.
Did you know that the majority of the time, the woman is the one who ends a relationship? While circumstances vary, a lot of it has to do with communication and growth. If there’s a problem and I bring it up, I hope and expect that you’ll acknowledge and work on it with me. Unfortunately, society hasn’t helped men become the best communicators, but with time and effort, anyone can learn to improve. Be open to growth and change. Getting out of your comfort zone is the first step to improving, and women want to take this step with the ones they love.
Check out: How to know if a girl likes you
Conclusion:
These 7 desires aren’t just passing thoughts or silly wants. They are things that could help form a long-lasting and strong relationship. If you can pick up a few of these qualities, you’ll not only be able to improve your relationship with that special girl, but you’ll also be improving your character and the way you interact with others. If you’re a dude, what are some of your own desires that you wish women knew? Let me know in the comments.