You’ve texted them and they haven’t answered, or maybe you slid to their DMs and haven’t gotten a response. You might be left on read, not read at all, or have no idea whether they received your message. What could be the possible reasons why your crush is ignoring you? Is it personal or does it have nothing to do with you? That’s what we’re here to find out. Here are six possible reasons why your crush is ignoring you and what you can do about it.
1. They want attention.
You may think your crush is the hottest thing since sliced bread, but they may think they are the universe’s gift to humankind – AKA, they are conceited. Some crushes may not be conceited but still thrive off of getting attention from people who like them. After all, it’s hard to keep your ego from inflating when you know a person is romantically interested in you. Your crush may like your attention so much that they want more of it. Then, they try to get more by ignoring you so you keep trying to connect with them. Some of them may answer you here and there so that you don’t think they fell off the Earth – kind of like leaving you little crumbs so that you keep coming back and giving them more attention. Will it work? Well, that’s up to you. How far are you willing to go for someone who uses you as entertainment? Only you can set those limits, but I wouldn’t recommend showering this person with more affection, attention, and gifts. All that will do is make them feel superior to you, and that’s no dynamic for a future relationship.
Check out: Why do people ignore me?
2. They don’t know how to turn you down.
This is for the folks who are crushing on a nice guy or girl. The nice crush is kind, considerate, and doesn’t know how to let someone down easy or let someone down at all. They appreciate your affection and they may even like you as a person or a friend, but there’s no way they’re going to be the one that hurts you or anyone else for that matter. You may have even thought that they liked you back; again, because this person is just so good-natured. Unfortunately, your crush may have realized that they misled you or felt uncomfortable by your consistent advances, which has left them no other choice but to ignore you. In their eyes, they see it as one of two options: they ignore you or they start dating you because they have no idea how to find the middle ground and let you down easy. I’ve got to say that when I was in the dating scene, I may have been one of these people. It was so hard for me to share an honest, yet non-offensive reason for not wanting to get romantic with someone that I would just shorten my answers and extend the time between messages until the other person got the point or gave up. I’m not saying it was right, but I’m saying it was easier for me than letting that other person down bluntly. If you think this might be your case, why not ask the person, kindly, if they see you more as a friend or romantically? You’ll get clarity and they’ll be able to answer honestly because they will be put on the spot.
3. They’re playing hard to get.
Welcome to another round of love games. Most of us know that playing hard to get means dealing with someone difficult to connect and communicate with in a futile attempt to seem extra cool, inaccessible, mysterious, superior, or some other not-so-great adjective. If your crush is playing hard to get, they’ll too cool for you in the moments you talk and, once they show too much interest, they’ll suddenly start to ignore you because they want you to chase after them. I have to admit that I know a lot of younger people and older people who seem to get caught up in the thrill of the chase when someone plays hard to get. It’s almost like some mystery game that people want to win. Unfortunately, they get so caught up in playing that they don’t have the time or clarity to think about how awful it would be to date someone who treats you like this in the first place. To help you deal with a crush who’s ignoring you, we’ve also made two posts for the guys and girls out there on how to handle it!
Check out: When he ignores you, do this!
Check out: When she ignores you, do this!
4. They have too much on their plate.
I’m going to be blunt here, unlike how I was with a few people back in the day, and say that this reason is probably the rarest. Most people reading this are going to try and trick themselves into thinking that this is their case, but it won’t be; however, there are a few instances when people are simply too busy to get back to you, and it’s nothing personal. This especially happens if someone has a lot of stuff going on in their family life or privately or is simply overwhelmed with work, school, or both. I’m a firm believer that people make time for those who are important to them and that, honestly, it’s rude to ignore someone without any sort of message or reasoning as to why – but hey, it could happen. Just be wary if this person suddenly reappears with a long list of reasons as to why they ignored you. Take it with a grain of salt and see how they treat you in the future. If the same situation arises again, I advise you to cut your losses and look for a new crush.
5. They don’t want a relationship.
Some people don’t want a relationship because they are focused on their studies or their career. Others are still trying to figure out who they are. A third group may even be dealing with past baggage or trauma before they’re ready to move on. Overall, this is another type of crush who may avoid confrontation by ignoring you instead of explaining themself. Their reason for staying single is personal and, truth be told, they don’t owe anyone an explanation – not even you. Does this mean I support them ignoring you? Definitely not! A short and to-the-point response would have been much better, but not everyone is as communicative as we would like them to be. Take the time to try to understand this person’s romantic stance. Have they just recently gotten out of a relationship? Have they ever even been in one? Are they fully focused on their personal goals and highly disciplined? All of these are pointers that this person may not want a relationship right now. Similar to reason number two, the best approach to this would be to ask them if they’re open to a relationship directly.
6. They just aren’t into you.
I’m sorry, but this is a reason that has to be said. If everybody ended up with their crush all the time, we would all be married to some person we used to like in first grade who looks and acts nothing like that person did in first grade. We should count ourselves lucky. Someone who ignores you for one reason or another isn’t into dating you at that time. Nine times out of 10, it’s going to be a problem with them, not with you, so take it, accept it, and move on. Focus on yourself and becoming the best partner you can be, and you will surely run into a crush who crushes on you right back.
Conclusion:
Being ignored can make you feel pretty crummy. I’ve been there and I’m here for you. While we have six big reasons your crush may be ignoring you, there are plenty more out there. Being direct and asking them what’s up is usually the best approach, but be prepared for a blunt answer, avoidant answer, or no answer at all. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone honest and genuine when they speak with you, so don’t settle for less.