The world would be an easier place to live if we could all be direct and say it how it is. Unfortunately, that’s a fantasy world we don’t live in at the moment. In real life, you’re more likely to run into these 5 signs he likes you but he’s playing it cool. Then, you could use those signs to figure out if he is into you without him having to say it upfront. Some guys take longer than others to let you know how they feel and others don’t even identify how they feel until later down the line, but either way, you can look out for these signs if you have a feeling that he may be into you nonchalantly.
1. His intensity one-on-one gets cut in half when you’re in a group.
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, especially if you’re one-on-one with someone in an intimate and private setting. This is when you’ll notice a high level of intensity with this guy as he becomes more vulnerable, opens up about deep topics, and asks you about your past, present, and future. It’s when you feel like you two are connecting on a deeper level with romantic vibes that could never be mistaken for friendship. You’ll have those long looks into each other’s eyes, the occasional blushing, and maybe even handholding or cuddling. That’s the cute stuff that points to his positive feelings toward you. Fast forward a bit, though, and it’s going to throw you for a loop when these vibes suddenly get cut in half as soon as you’re around other people. This is when this guy realizes that he’s not in a little bubble with you and that he isn’t trying to lay all his cards on the table just yet. He may still be kind to you and stick close by, but his tone in conversation will be much more bro-appropriate in front of others. He’s not trying to tell you – or anyone else for that matter – about how he feels yet, so he’s going to put up a front to try and tone down his behaviors. A note of warning, though; you will have to be careful and make sure that this sign isn’t pointing to a player instead of a crush. There are plenty of guys who are cute and boyfriend-y in private and then are suddenly single and completely unattached to you in public, and that’s a big red flag. Keep reading to see if you can identify at least three other signs he shows you to make sure that he does have those deep feelings for you, and that he’s not just trying to have his cake and eat it too. We have another video that can help, called “9 Types of Guys Who Stay Single.” Check it out!
2. You guys have a deep conversation and then you may not hear from him for a day or two.
A common theme with most of these signs is that this guy is going to lower his guard during moments when he’s connecting or having fun with you… until he has the unsettling realization that he’s showing you too much of himself for comfort. After all, he is trying to play it cool so that he doesn’t seem desperate or all-in too early. Then again, you two are having an awesome time together and he feels comfortable around you, so it’s hard to put the brakes on the natural chemistry that’s going on. Another common example where this happens is when a guy and girl have a super deep conversation together which goes well. Then, afterward, he’ll sit, think about what happened, and freak himself out over it. He then stops reaching out to you for a couple of days to try and balance it out. I used to casually see a guy who tried to play it cool way too hard at the beginning of our fling. I’ll always remember when I went over to his apartment one day and he was listening to some music. An emotional song came on and he told me it reminded him of his mom. We sat there and listen to the lyrics a bit, and they were slightly heartbreaking because this kid had a rough childhood. We spoke about it briefly and he was pretty open for a minute or two, but then it was like a newsflash hit him that he was opening up too much so he abruptly changed the topic to something extremely superficial and dumb, like a TV show or something trivial. I knew that he had opened up unplanned and that that reaction was his defense mechanism to go back to being “cool.” Even though this was a casual thing, I could tell that he was developing more feelings for me than he thought he would at that time.
3. He proposes romantic ideas but then leaves the topic up to you.
The whole premise of this guy’s coolness is to be more attractive and mysterious, but this doesn’t take into account how your attraction messes with his mind and actions. He’s going to love the idea of getting closer to you, and that includes going on adventures and cool dates together. It’s only natural that he starts to bring these up in conversation when you two are hanging out, but then he may catch himself and feel like he sounds too excited. God forbid we get too excited about someone, right? Since when did being romantic become uncool? Anyway, let’s say he mentions an awesome date night watching the sunset or something unique. He knows it’s a great date idea. You know it’s a great date idea. But he doesn’t want it to sound like an overzealous date idea, so after the suggestion, he may shrug it off by saying it’s a whatever idea or he may say that it’s totally up to you and that he doesn’t care if you do it anyway. He’s going to toss the ball in your court and act as if he just asked if you wanted a French fry and nothing more exciting than that. If you like the idea, I suggest sounding excited about it and jumping on board. If you don’t, just laugh it off with him and he probably won’t make any other suggestions of the like.
4. He downplays the emotional moments you share.
Emotional moments are for boyfriends and sensitive dudes, and this guy isn’t ready to take on either of these roles yet. That’s why he’ll downplay any moment where he gets too emotional, just like my old fling did that time with the song that reminded him of his mom. It’s his way of protecting himself and maintaining a cool facade. He might brush off deep conversations or heartfelt exchanges as if they were insignificant or just a passing moment. He doesn’t want to show vulnerability or reveal the depth of his feelings too soon. However, don’t be fooled by this nonchalant attitude. If he consistently downplays these emotional moments but continues to engage with you on a deeper level, it could be a sign that he genuinely likes you but is trying to hide it. Every evaded emotional moment counts, so keep being open and encouraging him to share when he wants.
5. He’s more touchy-feely with you than with other girls, even if his words aren’t romantic.
Actions speak louder than words, especially if this man is trying to control his mushy words so his feelings instead come out as flirty touches. Even if his words aren’t explicitly romantic, he may be more touchy-feely with you. This happens if he finds excuses to initiate physical contact, like touching your arm or shoulder, giving you hugs that last a bit longer, or playfully brushing against you. These subtle yet intentional actions can be indicators of his hidden feelings. While he may not express his emotions verbally, his body language speaks volumes. Keep an eye out for those subtle touches and closeness that set you apart from the rest, as they may reveal his true attraction towards you.
Check out: How to tell if a guy likes you but is hiding it
Conclusion:
When a guy is too cool to be mushy and in love – at least right now – you’ll need some signs to look out for to confirm he’s into you at all. Don’t try pushing him into love, no matter how many signs you see. He’ll be there when he’s ready, and until then you are allowed to live it up and live your life how you see fit!