Ah, the INFJ. One of the rarest personality types touching a mere 1.5% of the U.S. population. In many studies, it’s been shown that the average human has around 12 genuine social interactions per day. This means, statistically, you’ll only come across an INFJ once every eight days or so!
We know they’re rare, which means they aren’t like the average Joe Schmoes you run into on the daily. They won’t respond the same to shallow hellos and conversations and there are unique things that make them tick differently than most people. Even though they’re unique, you can connect with an INFJ if you check off just a few boxes. Here are the three ways to understand an INFJ.
Check out: What is an INFP personality like?
1. Dig deep.
INFJs will say “Bye Felicia” to any superficial relationships. They’re polite – don’t get me wrong – but they will never be satisfied by water cooler conversations or shallow chit-chat about the Kardashians. They need sustenance, they need significance, they need authentic, meaningful connections. To an INFJ, a friend or partner should be able to open up on new levels, understand and accept them, and vice versa.
If you want to understand an INFJ, you’ll have to befriend them, and that can only be done if you are ready for the level of friendship they require. I also forgot to mention that INFJs choose their friends few and far between, so you’ll need to open up wider than a kid’s mouth in a candy store with no adult supervision! Discuss your dreams, bare your soul, and provide the same open communication forum for the INFJ in question.
2. Find your moral compass.
INFJs are called the advocates of the Myers-Briggs world, which should give you some insight as to how they behave. These guys are conscientious about being conscious. They want to initiate change, make a difference, and leave a positive impact on the world. Their decisions are done with integrity and they strive to move through life in line with their values.
If that description made you roll your eyes or say “whatever,” you will likely never understand an INFJ. Integrity is a hard thing to take on if you don’t have it already, and it’s something that you need to want for yourself. You can’t fake it till you make it with morals.
Now, if you’re someone with pretty decent morals, you don’t have to be the perfect integrity-driven leader to connect with an INFJ. Basic morals and a desire to be a good person are enough to get you there. As a plus, INFJs love anyone who is working on becoming a better person, so you also have some leeway if you don’t consider yourself altruistic just yet.
In any case, use your moral compass to join an INFJ on a humanitarian project or simply talk to them about the things you’re advocating for in your day-to-day. Whether you pride yourself on going green for the planet or you’re a quick-tongued debater constantly arguing for different human rights, an INFJ will find a special place in their heart for you and you two will be able to bond and understand one another much quicker than you expected.
3. Aim to grow.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. According to the Myers-Briggs test, I am, in fact, an INFJ myself. I truly live number three to the fullest day to day. One of the biggest – and I mean biggest – things I can’t wrap my head around is why others wouldn’t want to improve themselves. I mean, we have one life. Just one. Wouldn’t you want to make the most of it? Wouldn’t you want to grow, improve, experience interests, expand your hobbies, and truly live out your passion? Ok, I’m getting caught up in this, but it’s just to show how important growth is for INFJs.
INFJs are on a perpetual quest for personal growth and development. They thrive on self-improvement, introspection, and becoming the best versions of themselves. Understanding an INFJ involves recognizing their insatiable desire to learn, evolve, and refine their skills and perspectives. To truly connect with and understand an INFJ, you must have and show an interest in personal growth and development. Complacency and settling for whatever you can get will separate you and INFJs more than politics separate families during Thanksgiving.
If you find you do have that inner craving for more, share your journey of growth and the lessons you’ve learned with this INFJ. They will appreciate your openness and willingness to evolve, and they will reciprocate by sharing their insights and experiences. Also, don’t forget to be supportive of their aspirations and goals. Encourage them in their pursuits and celebrate their achievements, no matter how big or small.
Check out: Why are INFJ, ENTJ, INTJ, ENFJ, and ENTP so rare?
Conclusion:
INFJs are few and far between, with quite a few unique traits that leave many people stumped. Using these three ways to understand INFJs could help you connect with a distinct personality type and open up a whole new friendship to challenge and support you.