10 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You

10 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You

A good friend is like a tricky puzzle piece – hard to find at first, but once you find them, everything else just falls into place. A bad friend, however, is like mold – hard to find at first, but once you find it, it just ruins whatever it touches. Most of us have a great group of friends, but every so often a toxic person might sneak in through the cracks. When that happens, a whole chain of negative reactions will follow. A bad friend will bring lies, dishonesty, and disrespect into your world. The worst part about it, is that plenty of times we don’t notice it right off the bat. If you’re getting the sense that your friend might not be a good friend after all, take a look at this list to see if they match up. Here’s 10 signs your friend doesn’t respect you.

1. They talk over you

When you break down the basics of human interactions, the only verbal way we clearly communicate is by talking. I mean, you can also yell and make noises, but usually this doesn’t go down well in public. So, if you’re speaking, it’s safe to say it’s because there is something you want to share to others. An important thing to note is that, since we’re all humans, we probably at one point or another cut someone off when we get excited about a certain topic. The key is to see if this happens consistently. If one of your friends seems to be doing this to you in every conversation, take a step back and notice how they are in front of other people too. Do they cut everyone off, or just you? If it’s just in general, this person might not even be aware of it, but if it’s targeted to you, this person is saying that your words aren’t even worth 30 seconds of their silence. That my friend is being disrespectful. They should probably learn how to be nice.

2. They hide plans from you

A secret can be a great way to bond people together, but it’s a different story when the secret negatively impacts another person. A friend who doesn’t respect you will have the skills of being sneaky, and they aren’t going to use this skill to throw you a surprise birthday party. The difference here lies between being upfront about your plans or lying and trying to hide them. If a friend is being deceitful, something fishy is going on. They don’t want to include you for a reason, and on top of that they also want to keep you in the dark about the whole situation. In a typical social circle, there are some friendships that are stronger than others. It’s natural. You don’t always have to hangout with every single friend and include everyone in every single activity. That being said, why would a friend always lie to you about their plans? A respectful friend will be able to tell you things clearly and without fear of judgement or drama.

3. Their negativity is draining

Did you know that 90% of Americans consume caffeine, in one form or another, every single day? That makes it the most popular drug in the U.S. Yes, caffeine is a drug. The main reason people do this is simple; for a boost of energy and mood. Most people want to be motivated and encouraged, not feel down in dumps. Sadly, for some of us, you may have a friend in your life who gives you the opposite effect of a cup of coffee. A negative person rarely sits still and not complain. A complainer needs someone to listen to them. And if you’re there, that’s going to be you. Once you allow this negative friend to fill your headspace with their doubting, catastrophic outlook, it’s predictable that some of these thoughts will impact your own way of thinking. This friend doesn’t want your positive outlook, or to encourage you when things get tough. They lack any respect for your mental well-being and will make sure to take you down with them when their ship starts sinking. So, make sure to bring your own umbrella, because this friend will definitely rain on your parade.

4. They seem uninterested in everything you say

You know those times when your mom tells you to do something and gives you a lecture, but you act uninterested and just annoyed. Yeah, that could be your friend who seems to zone out completely every time you open your mouth? This is a purebred quality of a disrespectful friend. The most annoying part about this, is that the same friend might have been the one to ask you a question in the first place. But the moment you get excited and answer, that friend looks like their mind went to La-La Land. The truth is that this friend doesn’t give a hoot about what you say, because they are simply not interested in you as an individual. Their ears will only perk up when they hear information that could affect them in some way. This egotistic approach is easily noticed. You will a have better luck talking to a stranger at this point.

5. They’re flaky

Plans change, things come up, and life sometimes gets in the way of our plans. BUT these things don’t happen every single day. If your friend is constantly bailing and leaving you empty-handed last minute, ask yourself why. This friend simply doesn’t respect your time or effort. They are saying that the effort you put into your plans is worthless. One of the main things that makes up a good friend is when they are reliable. They won’t just leave you stranded in the desert, or leave you hanging. They’ll be there for you. This is what friends are for!

6. They don’t support you or care about you

Let’s say you get a good grade on your assignment in class or that you become employee of the month. Normally people will be proud of you and congratulating you for your achievements. But if you look off to the side, do you see your quote on quote friend reacting positively about your achievement or success? If the answer is no, then there’s something up. If there’s a roomful of people just hyping you up and that friend is just sitting there doing nothing at all, that’s just a huge sign of disrespect. This friend of yours is probably always against what you’re doing. Instead of making you feel better, they’ll just choose to do nothing at all and pretend nothing had happened. That’s pretty toxic if you tell me.

7. They promote destructive behavior

As we go through different stages of life, we might do some things that we aren’t proud of. We can find lessons in these moments and use them to grow, OR, we can repeat the mistakes in a self-destructive pattern. If a friend doesn’t respect you, they won’t respect your physical or mental health either. This might be the friend who encourages you to take on risky choices or task in life. It could start off as a small suggestion and end up in a big problem. And, don’t be fooled, this problem will only be yours and your so-called friend will be nowhere to be found. We need friends who will push us in the right direction, who want to see you succeed and not fail. Instead of doing this, a disrespectful friend will be the one to hinder you. So, if you know something is not right, don’t force yourself to do it just to look cool or to please them. At the end, it’ll only hurt you.

8. They always try to be better than you at everything

A friend who doesn’t respect you tend to have an air of superiority. You got a good grade on the test? They got a higher grade than you. You went on a great date? Turns out they went traveling together. Your boss gave you a raise? That’s fine, but they got a raise AND a promotion. This friend is always in competition mode. There is no such thing as mutual support, because this person thinks that only one of you can truly succeed. The world is huge and full of opportunities, don’t waste your time sharing your good news with someone who lives in a dog-eat-dog world.

9. They talk behind your back

If you wanted your life to be full of drama, secrets and lies, you would sign-up for one of those reality TV shows. If you haven’t, then you’re probably a normal person who likes peace and happiness. A disrespectful friend, however, seems to be the ideal person to be in those reality TV shows. I’m not saying they’re Jersey Shore or Kim Kardashian material. I’m simply saying that they thrive on the drama of insincere relationships. A good way to see if this is true is to think about your friendship with this person. Do they bad mouth other people behind their backs. If they do, chances are they have or will do the same to you. This not only puts you in a hurtful position, but it also stresses other friendships that you may have as well. If you start hearing rumors and bad things about you, try to find out the source. If the source is them, then save yourself the headache and distance yourself from the drama-starter.

10. You’ve never been, and never will be, one of their priorities

A good friendship occurs when friends are there for each other. This can be for fun, when you’re able to connect and share personal stories with each other or simply being there when times are tough. What is clear, in any of these situations, is that a good friend will put you first when you need it. A disrespectful friend, on the other hand, wouldn’t give a hoot about you or anything you do. You might have better luck asking a stranger on the street for help than this person. The disrespectful friend will have excuses every time you need them. In fact, they have a boat load of excuses. To be honest, you probably shouldn’t ask them for anything at all since they are more likely to sabotage the things that you want them to do. So, don’t waste your time or breath on them because you will never be one of their priorities.

Overall, if a majority of these signs seem too familiar to you, you might have a disrespectful friend in your life. We tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and deal with uncomfortable situations until there is a breaking point. A disrespectful friend will do all they can to pull you into their trench of negativity. Toxic friendships can be just as bad as toxic romances – they destroy the good and leave a rotting relationship in its place. This is draining and time consuming. So, if you spot someone like that, it’s time to just let them be because if they are acting like that, are they truly your friend? I’ll let that marinate with you.