10 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You
Love can be a beautiful thing… until, one day, it turns ugly. People end relationships for a ton of different reasons. Whether you break up politely or explosively, sometimes it’s hard to truly disconnect with your ex. You both shared a lot of memories, milestones and emotions. Sadly, bigger things get in the way and sometimes we realize that this person just isn’t who we want to be with. While a clean break is the healthiest way to end a relationship, sometimes one of the two people just can’t let go. After a breakup, everyone wants to come out as the winner, but there are some ways to see who is really moving on and who is still stuck in the past. Here are 10 signs your ex is pretending to be over you.
1. They publicly announce that they’re interested in someone else.
When your breakup is younger than the baby down the street, most people would still be healing from the wound and grieving the loss of the relationship. If instead your ex is suddenly flaunting a new love interest, something fishy is going on. You may hear from more than one mutual friend that they’re prancing around with some new chick or guy. Or, even more likely, you’ll see pictures or videos of them on social media doing date-y things… I know it’s cringy? Take it with a grain of salt, though, because this is faker than a celebrity’s nose job. Your ex is doing one or two things; First off, they are definitely trying to ensure that you find out about their new relationship. There is absolutely no need to flaunt a crush you’ve had for a day, unless you want someone else to know about it and make them feel jealous. Second, your ex may be trying to distract themselves with a new boo in order to stop thinking about you. Whether it’s one of these, or both, we have a clear sign that your ex is obviously not over you yet. But if you want to know if he’s over you, here’s how to tell if a guy doesn’t like you.
2. You catch your ex stalking you.
Ah, the stalking of the ex. A classic move across time and culture. If you’ve never done it, it’s probably been done to you. Or, you definitely know someone who has done it. Now, typically, this isn’t standard file-a-restraining-order stalking. While they might drive by your house, or end up at a place that they know you hang out, we’ll see most of the stalking done online. Your ex might be the first person to watch your story posts or you have a mutual friend randomly tell you that they’ve been looking at your profile for the past couple of days. The fact is that they are all over your business like a honey bee on flower. So why does the stalking of an ex happen? It could be curiosity, sadness, or a sense of loneliness. All of these feelings come from the fact that the person doing the stalking is simply not over their past relationship.
3. They talk about you to others.
Building a relationship often means that some of your friends and acquaintances overlap. Maybe you’re also fortunate enough to share a small hometown where everyone finds out everything in a matter of seconds (which sucks, I’m sorry). That being said, if you find out that your ex has been talking about you, it’s out of more reasons than just boredom. This talk could be negative, like when your ex drags you down because the relationship just ended. Or, it could be a sad positive, like when your ex won’t stop crying about how much they miss you… literally crying. Whether for better or for worse, these words are all pointed in one direction; towards you. Your ex can’t even control themself enough to limit their blab sessions to the confines of their own home. Sadly, they might be hoping that this chit chat reaches you. If you get angry or upset enough when you hear that they’re talking about you, your ex hopes that you might reach out to them. They’re dying to have a chance to speak to you again – even if that’s on uncomfortable terms. If you’re interested to know if a guy likes you, here’s some more signs to tell if a guy likes you.
4. They post quotes and messages about moving on and being happy.
Have you ever heard the quote “Fake it till you make it”? If your ex is all about posting inspirational quotes and messages about joy, they’re living in their fake-it-till-you-make-it bubble. Very few people are jumping with joy the moment a relationship ends. Even if they’re the one to initiate the breakup, it’s usually followed by a time of self-reflection and even a solemn moment to commemorate the end of something important. If they enjoy reading positive quotes, good for them, but it doesn’t mean that they have to plaster them everywhere for the world to see. This is a cry for attention and the façade of the century. Your ex is purely pretending to be happy alone. But hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.
5. They stay connected to people in your social circle.
Having common friends can be beneficial in a relationship. Having only friends in common, though, is a little odd. Couples are composed of two INDIVIDUAL people. Just because there is love doesn’t mean that you merge all of your friends together. When a relationship ends, sometimes people have to distance themselves from certain acquaintances or even cut off people who are too connected to their ex because they only know them because of their ex. It’s a sad part of moving on. If your ex is still pushing to hang out with your friends – those friends that YOU had before you two started dating – your ex might be interested in more than just keeping a friendship. The people in your social circle will know the details how you’re doing. You know, the real emotions, and not just the stuff you post about online. Your ex is trying to keep them close to gather information on you, and to see if you’re just as distraught as they are. They are holding on tight to whatever they can because they aren’t over you, yet.
6. They kept your gifts and haven’t asked for their stuff back.
Over the course of dating someone, we accumulate a lot of knick-knacks. Maybe they’re holiday cards, anniversary gifts, homemade romantic gestures. The most common exchange is a girl stealing a guys’ hoodie, or one person leaving some stuff at the other person’s place. If a normal ex has a pile of your things or mementos, or even left you with a pile of their own, they’re going to want to get and give these things back in order to move on. Because staring at a memory of your ex isn’t the best way to get over them… so why hasn’t your ex mentioned anything? Maybe you were the one to say something, and they came up with a bunch of excuses to not give your stuff back. The truth is that it’s too painful for your ex to separate from these physical memories, right now. They aren’t ready to fully disconnect from you, and since this is a step in that direction they are simply not moving forward, just yet. And obviously this sign depends on how valuable the item is to you or them. If you’re interested to know if a girl likes you, here’s some more signs to tell if she likes you.
7. If you run into them, they consistently make eye contact.
Seeing your ex in public or at an event is an uncomfortable situation. The vibes change and it’s hard to have a good, normal time. The safest bet would be to say hello – if you’re friendly – and then continue on with your time far from your ex. If your ex can’t stay too far from you, especially if you feel their eyes burning holes in the back of your head, it isn’t just because you look good. Your ex has a million things running through their mind right now, but they especially want to see how you’re doing post-breakup. They will look for any signs that tell if you miss them, if you’ve changed, or if you’re trying to look at them too. You’re still the number one thing on their mind and their eyes will showcase that.
8. Their new partner looks way too familiar… because they look like you.
Doppelgangers are supposed to be funny and strange, if they’re random. It’s a lot less funny if your doppelganger is in the arms of your ex. Can you say, obvious? We all have a type, so I’m not just saying that their new love interest shares your hair color. Your ex’s new interest also shares your facial structure, body type, and maybe even your personality. You’ll hear back from other people that they noticed something oddly familiar about them. This one is clear; your ex picked them specifically as a clone replacement, because he can’t have the original you, so they’ll opt for something that’s close or similar to you. Sounds like a crazy scene from a movie, right? I’m telling you, it could happen. And if you want to know if that girl is not into you, here’s 10 signs to tell that she’s not into you.
9. They still hit you up.
Whether it be a late-night text, a mid-day hello, or an endearing random compliment, an ex shouldn’t be sending you any of these things. They’re called an ex for a reason. Do you go and check on your garbage after you’ve taken it outside? No, because you’re done with it. You’ve decided that it shouldn’t be a part of your life and you’ve removed it. So, tell me again, why would you continue talking to your ex? Some people can remain friends with their exes, in rare cases, but there is ALWAYS a time of space between the break-up and trying to be friends. You can’t be friends when there are such fresh feelings of pain or sadness. If your ex is still contacting you, there are some cords that haven’t been cut yet. Again, I’m not saying that it’s impossible to just be friends, I’m just saying that it’s going to take some time.
10. They get jealous and try to stop you from moving on.
If you aren’t over the relationship, seeing your ex with someone new is like pouring salt on a wound… it hurts. While this feeling is normal, most people will try to swallow it and continue pushing forward with their own lives. If your ex is taking energy out of their day to verify if you’re seeing someone new, they will probably take out even more energy trying to stop you from doing so. They may reach out to you and tell you that they want another chance, or that this new person you’re seeing isn’t right for you. A really desperate ex may even try to sabotage your new relationship. All in all, the only reason this would happen is because they have been pretending to be over you. It’s understandable why people would do this. They just need to be reminded that there are billions of fishes in the sea, they just need to find another one that’ll like them for them.
In Conclusion
Overall, navigating a break-up could be like riding a dark rollercoaster. The feelings are intense, up and down you go, and you never quite know when it will stop. The hope in the situation is that, with time, emotional hurt heals and people do move on. If your ex is still showing signs that they’re only pretending to be over you, they are just having a harder time moving on than others. While we should be empathetic, it’s important to establish boundaries and make your decisions clear. The relationship ended for a reason and it’s unlikely that the reason has changed.
I encourage you to stay strong and have moments to focus and think clearly about the situation. Remember that your ex is still stuck in the past, but there is also a present and a future to consider. If they really need closure, be the bigger person and give them one last closure. Always choose the move that is best for you, because at the end of the day, you’ve got to take care of yourself. But I mean you’re probably not stressin’ you’re just chillin’.