Sometimes a girl misses a guy but doesn’t want him to know. She might be keeping her feelings to herself because the guy hurt her, she isn’t aware if he feels the same way back, she’s trying to get over him, or because of another reason. While she may not tell you herself – at least, not yet – there are 10 signs she misses you but is hiding it. If you can pinpoint at least a few of these, you may be able to know how she’s feeling without hearing it from the source herself.
1. She still uses the gifts you gave her.
If a girl wants nothing to do with you, she isn’t going to wear that necklace you bought her or sport the jacket you gifted her last Christmas. If she’s using or wearing gifts that you gave her, she’s still pretty fond of you. And if it’s a piece of jewelry – especially heart-shaped jewelry or any jewelry with initials – this is a solid given that she misses you and still thinks of you often.
Check out: 11 Signs she misses you
2. She reaches out to your family.
If you were a pair that was involved in each other’s lives, she’s going to reach out to those closest to you when she misses you. Maybe she had a great relationship with your mom, brother, or grandparents. If so, she’ll bank on that to feel closer to you even though you two aren’t speaking or meeting. Not to mention that she’ll want to keep those relationships intact if your relationship has disintegrated – the poor girl can only handle so much loss at once. She may also reach out to your friends if she never got close to your family. Just know that she’s going to try to remain within your circle somehow.
3. She asks others how you’ve been.
Once she does touch base with your family or friends or runs into anyone else who knows you, she’ll go over the generic chitchat and then cut to the chase. She’s going to ask about you, whether it’s a general “Oh, how is so-and-so?” or fully diving into her feelings of missing you and wishing you two were closer. She may or may not ask for advice, but the point is that she’s going to open up, knowing that this information will get back to you.
4. She posts old photos of the two of you.
If you guys are separated because of geographical distance or you’ve decided to just be friends, you’ll be able to tell she misses you when she posts TBTs or flashback photos of the good times you’ve had together. Sometimes it’s easier to be honest with the internet than with the people we are close to. She may have no problem sharing her feelings through an online photo, even if you see it. In fact, she may be hoping you see it so you comment on it. This will give her the chance to talk to you and feel less alone.
5. She double-texts you, often.
If you guys are still on speaking terms, she’s going to be overly involved in your messages when she misses you. She isn’t seeing you as much as she would like, so speaking via messages is the closest thing she can get, and she’ll want a lot of it. She may send you paragraph-long texts, multiple follow-up questions, or various random messages throughout the day. I’m a big texter when I miss someone, so I know how this feels. If you miss her too or are just a kind guy, be sure to answer her and chat a bit if you can. It will make her day and truly lift her spirits.
Check out: How to make someone miss you (psychology)
6. She sends you something via mail.
If this girl goes as far as to send you snail mail, a gift, a package, a letter, or anything else through the post, she’s really missing you. This could be for a birthday, holiday, or just sent randomly. No matter the date, this takes extra effort and is rarely done nowadays. When I had to do long-distance temporarily with my boyfriend, I would get so creative with the little gifts I’d make and mail him. He could tell he was on my mind 24/7 and I couldn’t wait to see him again. When she sends you snail mail, she’s going above and beyond to get your attention and try to reconnect with you.
7. She changes her style and makes sure you see it.
Sometimes, when we’re physically separated from someone we like – especially if it’s because of a breakup or time apart – we tend to go through physical changes. These types of separations make us question ourselves and our identities. Some people change for the better, improving their style or getting in shape, while others may let themselves go. A lot of girls, for whatever reason, decide to get bangs or dye their hair. My one friend Rose went wild and dyed her hair blue. She then got back together with her boyfriend and dyed it back to brown. Anyway, if she changes her style, she’s going to publicize it because it’s like saying, “new style, new me.” You’ll either see her in person or on social media showcasing it because she wants to catch your attention.
8. She posts online about being alone.
If this girl is younger or doesn’t have such a high emotional I.Q., she may start posting quotes, sayings, or emotional photos on social media or her statuses. These could talk about loneliness, missing someone, feeling down, or needing a friend. On the other hand, she may go the Miss Independent route and post about not needing anyone, being alone and thriving, or something of that nature. I remember doing this after a breakup many years ago. I would post some silly story out with friends with a forget-you song playing in the background, after which I would go home and cry about the breakup. Yikes, that’s pretty cringe. Whether she posts about terrible loneliness or loving loneliness, it’s a cry for attention – your attention – because she’s missing you in her life.
9. She checks in with you every day or almost every day.
If you’re still on speaking terms and can’t see each other often, checking in with you often is a way to show that you’re on her mind. She misses your interactions and messaging, calling, or video-calling you is the only way she can communicate with you for now. This effort shows how much you mean to her and that you’re really missed. She might even get annoying, but know that this is her desperate attempt to keep you two connected. It’s important to be empathetic here, especially if you want to maintain that relationship or friendship, so throw her a bone and make sure that you’re checking in with her too. It’ll make her feel so much better!
10. She tells you she’s sad without saying why.
If a girl messages you and says she’s sad but doesn’t want to share why, it could be related to you or completely distinct. I would say that 70% of the time it’s going to be related to you, especially if you have a history or you know there are some feelings in the mix. She wants you to pry and see what’s wrong, as well as encourage her to make her feel like you are more present in her life emotionally.
Check out: When she ignores you. Do this!
Conclusion:
Missing someone stinks. Even though you might miss her too, she doesn’t have the guts to say how she feels directly. If you can tell by a few of these signs that she misses you but is hiding it, reach out to her and break the ice. If it’s the case, say you miss her too. Then, offer each other support until you can reunite again. Let me know what you plan to do in the comments!