10 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him
The human brain is super complex and sometimes weird. It can remember the lyrics to a song you haven’t heard in ages, but somehow you can forget where you put your keys 5 minutes ago. But what’s strange is that we could have someone absolutely stuck on our minds. Sometimes it’s worse than having that new pop song on replay in your head like a broken record. You wake up thinking about him, you go through your daily routine remembering him, and you go to bed – you guessed it – still thinking about that same guy. So, what’s up with that? There are a few explanations as to why this could be happening. It could be good or bad and I’ll give you both. In the first half, I’ll be talking about the good things, and the second half it’ll be somewhat dark. But here are the 10 reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him.
1. You feel like you’re in love and your hormones are going wild!
The most common reason why you can’t get him off of your mind is simple because you feel like you’re in love. When you begin to fall in love with someone, your brain will release an army of hormones. The main components are the lovey-dovey hormone, oxytocin, and the super-duper-happy hormone, dopamine. Oxytocin will have you feeling connected and secured to this guy. Dopamine will give you a mental rush of positive feelings. Take note that this is the same hormone that’s released when people take on drugs. So, yes, you can also be addicted to being with someone! No matter which of these hormones is impacting you most, the bottom line is that they will affect how you think, feel, and act. If you’re in love, it’s hard to counter these thoughts – you simply can’t stop thinking about him because he is all you want to think about!
2. He makes you a better person.
In the same way that a sunny environment makes a plant grow, a good person can help you bloom as an individual. The reason you keep thinking about this guy could be because you also can’t stop thinking about your future, and how you are when you’re around him. If this guy brings out a happier, more excited version of you, he might have the skills to really promote your best qualities. Not everyone we surround ourselves with makes us happier. When we feel like the best version of ourselves, and that person really emphasizes this, it’s normal to want to spend more time with them. Next time when you’re with him, take note of exactly how you feel. Are you more confident or more talkative? What about him makes you feel these things? It’s a great way to see what you’re missing in your day-to-day that would help bring out the best “you” there is.
3. You two have great chemistry together.
Have you ever met a really attractive person who suddenly dropped from a 10 to a 6 when they start talking? Incompatibility will do just that. Then, we have the opposite scenario – a crazy spark ignites when two person clicks instantly. Ah, chemistry. It’s more than just a challenging high school class. If you click with this guy unlike the 10 guys before him, it’s normal that you just can’t stop thinking about him afterward. This chemistry opens up a whole range of opportunities that your brain simply can’t ignore. It gives you the potential to imagine developing a relationship with this person and seeing how close your bond may develop. So, bring out the test tubes and beakers, because this love experiment could be one for the books! Here’s how to tell if a guy likes you.
4. He brings new experiences into your life.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Out with the old, in with the new?” This resonates with reason number 4. No one is going to tell you that they’re excited about a shirt they’ve had for two years. But your friend WILL mention how happy they are with a new purchase. Our brains see new things and experiences as rewards. If you meet a guy who intrigues you with exciting conversations, fun plans, and new ideas, your mind sees these things as beneficial for fun and learning. For the time being, the brain will associate this guy with new experiences. Now, for the same reason that you get excited to go to a new city or drive a new car, you’ll get excited to be around this guy. No wonder you can’t stop thinking about him – everything else in comparison is far too boring. This guy seems to be the current spice of your life.
5. He challenges you.
If you’re living your best, stable life, chances are you’re comfortable. We quickly get used to our routines and responsibilities. While this isn’t a bad thing, the best place for personal growth is actually in moments of discomfort. If this guy makes you question things you’ve always been firm in, brings up topics that sting, or even invites you to think outside the box, your brain is going to be alarmed. You may even doubt your own outlook. With so many uncertainties, you won’t be able to stop thinking about the guy who started it all. The great thing about these moments is that you’ll be able to reevaluate some parts of your thinking. Maybe it will push you to investigate further on a certain perspective, or to try to see the other side of an argument. While it doesn’t mean that you’ll necessarily change your opinion, your perspective will definitely widen. Your mind won’t be able to stop thinking about the guy who challenges you and pushes you to become a better person.
6. You’re worried you’ll lose him.
In the same way, you can be obsessed about something exciting, we also tend to get preoccupied about things that worry us. This black hole of distress can even pop up when you care a ton about someone. If your friendship with this guy is strong, genuine and unique, you’re going to truly value it. If you can’t take control of anxiety-driven worry, you’ll start to make up all of these “what-if” scenarios. Suddenly, you’re focused on 10 absolutely made-up situations where this guy disappears from your life. If you find that you can’t stop thinking about him in this situation, it’s important to pause, take a breath, and recollect your thoughts. Think of the facts, what is happening now, and change your worries to appreciations. Be thankful that you have this guy and your one-of-a-kind friendship. It’s a wonderful thing to have someone so special in your life! He likes you more than a friend.
7. You are lonely.
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, loneliness is a sad feeling that plagues our lives every once in a while. If we are lucky enough to have a group of friends nearby or supportive family, loneliness might be fleeting. On the other hand, sometimes your social circle doesn’t come together at the right time, and you could be feeling all types of ways all by yourself. It’s easy for your mind to turn to a potential friendship, or even a potential romantic interest when you don’t see any other options. Most people need human interactions and it is our nature to crave being with others. It’s possible that the guy you can’t stop thinking about seems to be the most accessible person during your time of loneliness. This will cause you to think of him nonstop as a solution to your problem. A good way to counter this is to simply plan a social scenario with a friend or relative in your life. In fact, if this guy IS indeed a good friend, give it a go and ask him to hangout! You’re a social being that needs to get out there and interact. Give your brain what it’s looking for.
8. The relationship ended.
There’s a reason that Romeo and Juliet didn’t make it out alive. Love is a crazy, complicated too. When a relationship breaks, it seems like a part of you breaks with it. If you, or your ex, recently ended your relationship, it’s to be expected that your mind is going to run circles around the break-up. The questions are endless. Why did this happen? Was it a mistake? How is he doing right now? Does he miss me like I miss him? Whether you dated for 3 months or 3 years, breakups hurt when you’re the one who’s attached. The loss of that person in your life will infiltrate your thoughts and feelings during the grieving process. Even though your ex didn’t kick the bucket, a severed relationship provokes a similar grieving process as to when someone close to us passes away. Time will slowly heal this wound, and day by day you will think of him less. Make sure to surround yourself with loved ones and keep busy during this time – it will pass, I promise! Learn how to get someone to miss you.
9. Everything reminds you of him.
That dog in the park reminds you of his pet. Your friend made the same joke he told you last week. Your cousin had on a shirt that you swore he also owns. That episode had such a twist – he would love to watch it! Everywhere you go, look, and listen, there is something that reminds you of this guy. In the same way that people are social creatures, we are all also creatures of habits. Patterns and connections are the way we make sense of things. When you associate a certain trait to someone, in this case to the guy on your mind, it’s only fair that your brain will pick up on these cues when you see them and relate them back to the source. Then, when you pick up one or two cues, you will subconsciously start looking for more. It’s like the yellow car game. When you’re walking on a normal day, you don’t notice the yellow cars. But if your friend starts pointing them out, suddenly you notice that there’s a lot more yellow cars than before. Those clues, cues, and things were always out there. You just happen to be connecting them to an individual and that is him.
10. You’re trying to way too hard to forget him.
People procrastinate, ignore messages, and avoid confrontation. The reason for all of these are the same; When something is unpleasant, we’ll try anything to avoid dealing with it. This could be a work situation, a relationship gone wrong, a trauma, or just a long list of things you really aren’t looking forward to facing. Whatever the case may be, if you’re currently avoiding something like this, it might be the very reason that you can’t stop thinking about that certain guy. He ISN’T the problem, so you’re putting all of your effort and energy into focusing on him instead of the actual issues at hand, which is you. Why? Is it because you haven’t gotten answers to something? Is it because you need closure? This is a hurtful cycle. You can’t move forward in your life if you have a ball and chain of problems stuck to your ankles. Take some time to sit with your feelings and problems at hand. Once you deal with these, you’ll be able to see if your thoughts about him were just avoidant, or genuine.
Overall, whether you’re trying to forget or you’re enjoying the memories, all of the reasons have one thing in common; this guy has impacted your life. Take a breather, decide if the impact is good or bad, and move from there. You can’t change the past so focus on the present and appreciate or change what you don’t like.