Hey, how are you? You’re looking good. Is anything new going on? Wait, what? No, no, I’m definitely not hitting on you, I’m just being friendly, but I bet you’re here to pinpoint the difference. There are certain questions a girl asks when she likes you, much like a guy will, and you must differentiate between those questions and casual ones so you can get the right vibe to know if she’s into you or not. Here are 10 questions to look out for and, remember, the tone is important so note how I ask each one.
1. “Is that your girlfriend?”
You’ll hear this question as if it’s asked innocently, but if you listen closely, you can hear a bit of distaste in my tone. I’m not going to flat-out say “Is that your girlfriend?” because then I would come off like a big b-word, but I will ask it in a way that may subtly point to my disappointment. After all, this is something I would ask if I saw you get extra close to another girl when I had my eyes on you or if you start talking about another girl that I have never met or heard of before. I’m trying to gather intel here, so I’m going straight to the point to see if I have anything – or anyone – that could get in my way.
Check out: 10 Best flirting questions to ask a girl
2. “Do you want to come over?”
Before you start thinking inappropriate thoughts, this doesn’t mean she’s inviting you to Netflix and chill. An invitation over to her house could mean a lot of things, but the first one is that you’re likely going to run into either her family or roommates. Either situation means she’s going to introduce you and that means you’re important enough to bring around.
3. “Why don’t we go together?”
This question has a little bit of hope and excitement behind it when asked right, and it’s so darn cute! She’ll ask this whenever an event is brought up that you both either have to attend or want to attend. This could be anything from a boring extra credit conference to a super exciting Lizzo concert in your town’s basketball arena. If you express any – and I mean any – interest in going, she’s going to be the first to make plans and try to coordinate it so you’re sitting side by side.
4. “What do you think I should do?”
Emphasis here on the “you.” She is showing that your opinion is important. She sees you as someone who is emotionally stable enough to advise on whatever situation she’s in. This also goes to show that she wants to consider your opinions when deciding on bigger things in her life. She’ll listen to your answer intently and may even ask follow-up questions. This doesn’t mean she’s going to do exactly what you say, but she’ll contemplate your words since you’re such an important person in her life.
5. “What do you do for fun?”
When we’re getting to know someone, context is important. When I meet someone new at work, for example, I’m going to ask them about work things. Maybe I’ll ask what they studied or where they worked before this job. When I meet someone at my gym, we might talk about what physical activities and workouts we’re into and then shift into more of the standard boring topics like, “What do you do for work?” If I ask someone what they do for fun, though, I’m digging into the real personal part of their life because I want to get to know the real them outside of the context that we’re in. This usually happens when there’s a little attraction going on. Do note that good conversationalists may also use this phrase to build rapport, so be sure to combine this question with a few others before assuming she likes you.
Check out: 10 Easy conversation starters that always work
6. “You guys are close, aren’t you?”
Uh oh, bring out the jealousy. You can hear the little smidge of bitterness and sarcasm on this one, and it’s hard to ask in any other tone. She’s bothered, and the only reason she’d be bothered by your interaction with another girl is that she’s jealous. And the only reason she’d be jealous is if she liked you. When I used to have a thing for my workmate, I’ll always remember when a new girl named Deanna started working there and began flirting up a storm with him. He and I were never an official thing and I had no right to be jealous, but the next time I worked with him I said something along the lines of, “You and Deanna are new BFFs, aren’t you?” He got the point.
7. “Do you want to grab a coffee?”
She’s either addicted to coffee, which is pretty likely, or asking you out on a pre-date. Going out for coffee is light. It’s easy, it can be done in about half an hour, and it provides a place that isn’t too quiet but also quiet enough for good conversation. Plus, if you have a great time, you could always extend it to keep the hangout going. When she asks you out for coffee, she’s trying to get to know you more without any pressure. This is still the friend-zone area, but it’s going to give you both insight as to whether or not your friendship could progress out of the zone.
8. “Did you guys used to date?”
If you start talking about one of your female friends or she sees you interact with a female acquaintance, she may curiously ask you this. It sure beats saying, “Yo, how many exes do you have, and who are they?” which is probably what she actually wants to say but can’t because it would be rude. If she likes you, she wants to know more about your romantic past. This lets her know your type, if you’re still involved with any exes, or if you’re just close to a bunch of females with no romantic interest. If you answer yes and she responds with a sound, like saying “hm,” you might have dug yourself into a hole. Be honest, but pick and choose your response carefully here if you’re into her.
9. “Can I add you on social media?”
Instead of saying social media, she’s probably going to say Instagram, but because online trends change so fast, you can replace it with whatever app is most popular nowadays. Another spicier version of this question is asking, “Are you going to add me on social media or what?” This is her in to get your contact information and – hopefully – give you the opportunity you need to slide into her DMs later that week. She’s also going to use this opportunity to stalk your profile pretty heavily, so maybe take a quick glance and make sure everything is up-to-date.
10. “Are you really single?”
Emphasis here on the “really.” She just can’t believe that you’re on the market. I mean, there must be something wrong or something she overlooked, right? After all, she gets along so well with you, so why wouldn’t you have a girlfriend? This is your chance to talk about how long you’ve been single and why. Don’t be afraid to get into the details. You could mention what you’re looking for or mention the reason you’re not looking for anything if you need to let her down easy. Either way, take it as a huge compliment and know that she’s now going for it, full force.
Check out: How to keep a conversation going with a girl
Conclusion:
These 10 questions are a great place to start checking out her feelings for you, but remember that words come with intonation and body language. You’ll learn more about her intentions much faster if you can also gauge her nonverbal approach with you. Look for open body language and lots of smiling; maybe she plays with her hair or even brushes your shoulder if you’re lucky. If you’ve ever asked similar questions like the ones we talked about today or have heard these questions already from her, I want to hear about them in the comments!