We’re all capable of making friends when we have a lot of time to spend with a person. But it’s a bit tougher to make others like you during your first meetup together, especially since studies have shown that people can decide if you’re likable or not in the first thirty seconds of meeting you… I know, it hurts. Knowing that it’s so important that we put our best foot forward when meeting new people. Luckily, there are ways to work around it to create a more positive impression around others. So, listen closely and take note of these 10 psychological tips to make others like you instantly.
1. “Mirror” the other person.
Studies over the years have dissected a tactic called mirroring. This is essentially the same as copying the person in front of you but in a subtle way. Imagine the person you’re meeting is leaning forward, excitedly speaking to you about something. If you also lean forward and copy their tone of excitement, that person subconsciously believes that you two are more compatible! This even works with negative people. For example, if someone is tired and complaining about it, you can imitate them to show you, too, can relate to their tiredness. Of course, pick and choose wisely what you mirror.
Check out: Top 10 physical signs a woman is interested in you
2. Compliment people to other people.
There is a really weird phenomenon called spontaneous trait transference. It was found in one published study that the compliments you give are associated with you. This means that if you tell someone that Jane is nice, that person will also, subconsciously, associate you with being nice. It’s a weird brain-game-association that scientists are still studying. Another complementary tip is that, when you’re complimenting someone in person, focus on what they have achieved instead of qualities that they are born with. This gives the person a sense of personal pride that will make them happier being around you.
Check out: How to compliment a guy on his personality
3. Be trustworthy.
It’s important to note that you can’t fake trustworthiness. If you’re not trustworthy, then please don’t try out this tip. If you can keep a secret, though, show this through warmth and competence. Studies have shown that you should first show warmth or kindness, and then competency to establish trustworthiness. It’s hard to like someone when they can’t trust you. This is especially useful in professional settings!
4. Self-disclose.
While you may be as competent as you can be, the best way to connect and make others like you is by being real. People don’t like those who think they are perfect and know it all. Self-disclose something that shows you have faults, too, and prove that you’re relatable. We all have some sort of flaws that makes us unique. And that’s what defines you.
5. Show a sense of humor.
Crack an easy-going joke, or be silly if the situation allows. Research from various universities has shown that a sense of humor was a key attribute people listed when describing someone they could like. Majority rules that laughter is the best medicine. So it doesn’t hurt to laugh.
6. Emphasize shared qualities.
The similarity-attraction effect states that people are more attracted to others who are similar to them. While opposites may attract out of curiosity, the similarity is what actually sticks. If you find early on that you share a value or interest with someone new, emphasize that in your conversation. You’ll get them to like you in no time. This is one of the best psychological tips.
7. Show interest in the other person’s life.
Harvard researchers recently used an MRI machine to study how people reacted when talking about themselves. The reward part of the brain lit up WAY more when participants talked about themselves publicly. Basically, we love talking about ourselves. Use this to your advantage and show interest in the other person’s life, so that their reward-system starts lighting up when you speak to them!
8. Use open body language.
Most communication is non-verbal, so it’s important to be aware of what your face and body are doing. Other than mirroring others, you should always be open and approachable in order to be liked. This means having your arms open and to your sides, nodding in conversation, and leaning in closely while listening. Avoid covering your face or mouth with your hands and DEFINITELY do NOT cross those arms!
Check out: Top 10 signs he secretly likes you with body language
9. Exceed expectations.
When meeting new people, being helpful is an instant way to be liked. Maybe they mention that they need help with something, so you surprisingly offer to assist. Of course, only do so if you have the capacity to follow through on it. But if you can’t, you can always try connecting them with someone who can. And this is a great way to practice networking.
10. Smile!
The simplest, yet most important, tip to make others like you instantly is to smile. Studies have consistently shown that people are more likely to choose a photo of someone smiling as opposed to someone who is not. Smiling shows that you are open to others and inviting. Other studies have shown that smiling during introductions makes you more memorable. That’s not to say that you won’t be remembered if you frown but… do you really want that angry-looking image stuck in someone else’s head?
Related: How to know if someone likes you
Conclusion:
Overall, whether you’re at a casual party or hanging out with your crush, you can make a good impression around others. Using these psychological tips to make others like you instantly is a huge boost for your relationships, right from the beginning. Most likely you won’t be able to fit in all of these elements in one introduction, but by picking a few which seem the most natural to you, you’ll be sure to leave a lasting and positive impression. So there you have it 10 psychological tips to make others like you.