Movies love to portray the butterfly feelings of dating. It’s all blushing and giggling until you’re stuck in an awkward situation Hollywood never prepared you for. Dating isn’t all sparkles and rainbows; dates can turn out bad and be emotionally draining. So, if you’re new here or just wanting to get some advice before you venture out on some dates, here are 10 dating advice you must know and need. It’ll save you a lot of headache and pain if you just know a couple of these elements.
1. Know what you’re looking for.
Are you looking for something casual or your soulmate? You may say you want someone who is intelligent, but what if they sit on their couch all day and watch movies? Does that meet your requirements? Before going out dating, you need to know what you’re looking for. What kind of date and partner are you looking for? Define your make-or-breaks before dating so that you don’t end up wasting your time on someone who’s the opposite of what you’re looking for.
2. Start slow.
Did you know that falling in love has the same effects on the brain as drug addiction? When we start to get those intense feelings for someone, we feel like we need them no matter what the negative consequences are. Those rose-colored glasses could get you in a lot of trouble. Don’t get caught up too quickly with someone until you know each other better. Take things slowly. If you’ve met them on Tuesday, don’t bring them to a family dinner on Thursday. If they’re really that great, they’ll still be around in a couple of months. So, take it one step at a time.
3. Be yourself.
I know a lot of people talk about this all the time. And sometimes you’re asking yourself, “how do I be myself?” So, a good thing to note is that, if you feel like you’re always forcing yourself to behave a certain way or act a certain way around them, then you’re totally doing it wrong. Now I’m not saying to let yourself loose and start comfortably farting around with them, there’s a limit to that. You obviously don’t want to do something crazy where they lose interest ASAP. Get to know them first, and present your true self slowly.
Check out: How to love yourself and be confident
4. Date people outside of your “type.”
This is when what you initially want doesn’t work out. It’s time to venture out. Most of us say we have a type. This could be someone athletic, funny, or nerdy. While these are important factors that attract us, they usually aren’t the solid foundation of a relationship. If they don’t seem athletic, or funny, or have the hair color you like, but have other positive qualities or vibe well with you, give them a shot! You might be happy you did.
5. Don’t ignore the red flags.
Red flags are the warning signs that something is wrong with your date. If something pops up and it seems like a red flag, get to the bottom of it and understand why. If your friends and family are red-flagging your date, then really take a look into it. Don’t just brush it out because these red flags will build up over time, and you’ll be the one paying for it down the line.
Related: 10 Signs your partner is cheating on you
6. Communication is key.
This is really really really important for all relationships. The problem around almost all bad behavior is rooted in communication. People react poorly because they can’t communicate their feelings or ideas appropriately. Some people simply just don’t know how to communicate and it shows later on with frustrations and arguments. If both parties can communicate effectively and are able to understand each other, I’m positive, you’ll both have a good relationship.
7. Date for personality, not just looks.
Looks will only get you so far in life because, in 20 or 30 years, you might not even look the same. Gravity will start bringing everything down and, wrinkles will kick in and maybe and an extra 20 pounds will sneak in. Looks will age with time, but someone with a good personality will last a lifetime. And if you’re looking for someone with a caring personality, you can bet that they’ll still be there and with you as you both age.
8. Respect.
If you don’t give it, don’t expect it back. This is also really really really important in a relationship and even with dating. If you feel that you are being disrespected, communicate that concern to them. Be honest and real because at the end of the day, if you both are always disrespecting each other and lying and not keeping promises, the relationship won’t last long. Know and note the boundaries for you and your future partner.
Check out: How to earn respect from people (15 Ways)
9. Don’t force a relationship.
Sometimes you meet someone who appears to be the whole package. They check off your list of wants and pass the vibe check! But… you hit a roadblock. They don’t feel the same way with you. I know this is devastating. If it makes you feel any better, it happens to me all the time. To combat this, you simply just need to move on. There’s no point to be constantly throwing yourself at them when they don’t have the same feelings for you.
10. Don’t date because you’re lonely.
Make friends if you’re lonely. If you’re lonely and you don’t have an independent life, yet, it’ll only create more problems. Why? Because bringing someone into your issues, insecurities, or loneliness is just burdening them from the get-go. Dating should be something to do because you’re ready to find someone special for you, not because you want to give them another responsibility and need someone there, *cough friends with benefits.
Check out: Why it’s great to be single (5 Reasons)
Conclusion:
Overall, I hope these dating advices will help you out over time. And of course, there’s always more advice than this, but this is something that you must and should know when venturing out to the dating world. And if you’re just dating for fun, then this probably doesn’t apply to you. This will mostly apply to those looking for a long-term relationship and I truly hope it helps.